


A Modern Courtship

by CrunchySalad



Category: Bleach
Genre: Canon Compliant, Explicit Sexual Content, Get Together, Long and Complete, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-07
Updated: 2011-08-14
Packaged: 2017-10-19 11:03:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 46,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/200131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrunchySalad/pseuds/CrunchySalad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Aizen defects and before Soul Society knows what his motives are, Byakuya and Renji are sent on a mission to find a pseudo-arrancar that might have some information. Byakuya starts to develop feelings for Renji but his sense of prudence keeps him from acting on them, even when it appears Renji might reciprocate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

The first thing he saw were Rukia's eyes, wide open with surprise as they stared back at him. Her lips were slightly parted, as if she didn't know what to say. Her shoulders slumped, as though she didn't know what to do with her body. For once, bold, fearless Rukia looked. . . meek.

In front of her stood a man. The kenseikan attached to his silken black hair told Renji he was nobility. The white haori slung around his shoulders told Renji he was a captain of the Gotei 13. Renji's smile was half frozen on his face. He felt like an interloper, despite the fact that they were in an open classroom. Whatever this scene was, it was one that Renji wasn't meant to be a part of.

An old, bent over man mumbled something. The nobleman's gray eyes, cold and flat as the winter sky before a heavy snowfall, lifted from Rukia's face and fixed on a point ahead. Never once glancing at Renji. As though he wasn't there at all. As though he was nothing. As the nobleman walked by, his reiatsu knocked the breath out of Renji's lungs. The sheer force of it pushed his body down. His smile dropped completely as his lips parted and beads of sweat formed on his skin. And then they were gone, but Renji's eyes were still fixed on the floor.

"Renji."

Rukia's voice snapped Renji out of the lingering effects of the nobleman's reiatsu. He forced himself to smile, but it was more from nerves than anything else. He had noticed how small Rukia's voice had sounded.

"Oh," he said, forcing out a chuckle. "Rukia. Things were really tense in here, huh? What were you guys talking about?"

Rukia's eyes were looking down and away. Whatever it was, she couldn't even look at him as she said it. "They want to adopt me into the Kuchiki family."

One of the four great noble families. Rukia was saying more, but Renji's mind was spinning. If Rukia became a Kuchiki, she'd probably move out of the dorms and into their no doubt sprawling estate. If Rukia became a Kuchiki, she probably wouldn't be able to hang out with a street tramp from Rukongai anymore.

Renji remembered when they were young, when there were five of them. In the vast, cruel world of Rukongai, they only had each other. They had been helping each other find their families, and had eventually become a family of their own. But, one by one, they had gone, passed away. Until there was only Renji and Rukia left. Rukia, his only family. The only person in the world who _knew_ him. And now she was being taken away.

He realized she was trailing off. His chest felt like it was constricting, but he forced his grin wider. He grabbed her arms and squeezed, maybe a little too tightly. "Isn't that great?"

He didn't even know what he was saying. But he knew. . . Rukia had finally found herself a family. A much better family than a ragtag bunch of street punks. A much better family than Renji. He shouted words of encouragement, broken only when Rukia's small hand came to grasp his wrist. She looked like she was about to cry.

"Really?" And then, two words that broke his heart. . . "Thank you."

She left, leaving him frozen to the spot. _Thank you._ She had thanked him for letting her go. . . because, in the end, she really would rather be family to a Kuchiki noble than to a man like him.

* * *

Gray eyes the color of a winter sky. Renji had never forgotten them, despite the fact that they had never once looked his way. They still didn't, focused instead on a white sheet of paper, on a quill dipped in black ink. Byakuya Kuchiki couldn't even deign to look up from his paperwork.

And here Renji thought that Byakuya had chosen him. That Byakuya had acknowledged him, at least as someone capable of being his vice captain. He guessed he was wrong. . . he was just the only person right now that fit the pre-requisites. Byakuya hadn't even memorized his name yet.

"I take it Ginjiro informed you of your duties."

"Yes, Taichou." Hands clasped behind his back, head bow slightly. But what he really wanted to do was to reach forward. He wanted to grab a fistful of Byakuya's pitch black hair and pull his face off that piece of paper. He wanted to make Byakuya look at him. To acknowledge him, at least, as someone worth looking in the eye.

"In that case," Byakuya said, still not lifting his eyes from off his desk, "I trust that you'll carry them out in a satisfactory manner. If not, you won't last long in this division."

Renji nodded, not sure of what to do next. He stood there until Byakuya's hand stilled on the paper.

"You are dismissed." Byakuya's deep voice, tinged with faint impatience.

"Yes, Taichou." And before Byakuya could get irritated even further, Renji left the captain's office. He made his way to his own office before collapsing in his chair. He buried his face in his hands, which he was horrified to see were trembling. Honestly, Byakuya's reiatsu shouldn't have such a big effect on him anymore. . . but it was more than that. He was nervous around Byakuya.

Byakuya had filled Renji's thoughts for the last several years. Ever since the man had taken Rukia away. Renji knew it was stupid, but he wanted to be, at the very least, Byakuya Kuchiki's equal. He wanted to be someone Rukia wouldn't be ashamed to call family. He wanted to be more than he was. And then, during his time in the eleventh division, Renji had started to think that it was possible. He had started to think that, one day, he could actually surpass Byakuya, and be fit to stand beside Rukia again.

But in the face of Byakuya's strength and will, Renji couldn't help but feel every bit the slum rat from Inuzuri. Surpassing the man was a joke. The distance between them was as boundless as the night sky.

Renji pulled his hands away and looked down at his desk. Unless he was assigned a particular task, there was only the obligatory paperwork to take care of. And if there was no paperwork, he was free to spend his time however he wished, although presumably some of that time would be spent evaluating his subordinates and encouraging their growth. Renji didn't have a particular task to take care of right now, and his paperwork was minimal. It would take him an hour, tops. He tapped his pencil on his desk. What would he do for the rest of his time today, then?

An hour ended too soon. Renji dropped his completed paperwork in a wooden tray marked "out," where it would be collected and delivered to the proper place by one of the unseated officers. He got up and left his office, walking by Byakuya's office along the way.  
The shoji screen separating it from the hallway was closed, and there didn't seem to be any lights on inside. So his captain had left, without seeing fit to breath a word to him about it. Renji wasn't even sure why it bothered him, but somehow it seemed a sign of the way things stood between them. To Byakuya, Renji was as inconsequential as he was the first day they had met.

Frowning a little bit, Renji made his way to a second floor balcony overlooking the sparring courtyard. At any given hour there were usually a few members of the division sparring, and today was no different. Renji watched as as a few of his subordinates. . . and that was definitely a strange feeling, only having one man above him in his division. . . took turns fighting with one another. He didn't feel like offering input; it was his first day, after all, and he wasn't sure that they were comfortable around him yet. As a division closely tied to the Kuchiki family, it attracted a particular sort of shinigami, and that sort tended to be wary of street punks like Abarai Renji.

Renji watched for just a little while before leaving the division altogether. He went to the eleventh division to find some of his old drinking buddies, much more comfortable there than it Byakuya's prim, proper world.

* * *

"That's a pretty thin yukata."

Renji shrugged from where he was laying, said yukata falling off one of his shoulders as he did so. "It's what I wear to sleep. I didn't change when I woke up this morning."

He was sitting with Ikkaku in the hallway outside of his office. The hallway was rectangular, with Renji's office on one end, Byakuya's on the other, and a courtyard enclosed in the middle. The other two sides had branching hallways that led to other parts of the sixth division headquarters. It was a nice day, so all the screen doors facing the courtyard had been opened up, and the two men had a pleasant view of the perfectly manicured green garden that stood there.

"Kuchiki-taichou doesn't mind?" Ikkaku asked, open disbelief written all over his features.

"He doesn't even notice," Renji said. "As long as I do my work he doesn't give a shit. The only times he even talks to me are when he needs to give me something to do or get updates on how the rest of the division is doing. He doesn't keep tabs on them either."

Ikkaku frowned at the bitterness that seemed to drip from Renji's words. "Well. . . isn't that how captains usually are? I mean, it's not like Kenpachi ever cared about what we did."

"Are you kidding? At least Kenpachi hung out with us. He drank and fought with us. Maybe he didn't give a shit any more than Kuchiki-taichou, but at least he knew our personalities and our abilities. With Kuchiki-taichou, it's like we're not even here. We do our jobs, and if we don't, he picks up the slack. Like we're cogs in a machine that he doesn't even expect will work right half the time."

They were interrupted then by two female unseated officers, both giggling a little bit as they approached Renji.

"Abarai-fukutaichou," said one of them, holding out a stack of flyers. "I was just at the ninth division, and Hisagi-fukutaichou asked me to give these to you."

"Oh. Yeah. Thanks." Renji took the flyers from the woman, and then they both scampered away, still giggling.

"At least the other members are warming up to you," Ikkaku noted.

"They never really disliked me," Renji said. "They were just a little. . . wary, at first, I guess."

"It probably helps that you're walking around with your chest exposed."

A large, cocky grin spread over Renji's face, his tone of voice completely changing. "Hey, might as well give the ladies of division six some eye candy to look at. You know me and Byakuya were just voted best-looking captain vice captain pair in a poll the Shinigami Women's Association did."

Ikkaku scoffed at that. "Face it, you were carried by Byakuya in that one."

"Hey, don't be jealous just 'cause you've got no luck with women." Renji chuckled a little at Ikkaku's expense, while the other man scowled.

"Che. Not my fault shinigami women have lousy taste." Ikkaku leaned back a little bit, but he shot back up even more quickly, eyes huge. "Shit! I forgot, I promised Yumichika I'd go shopping with him today. He's going to kill me."

"What for?" Renji asked, mildly curious.

"Division supplies," Ikkaku replied. He was already climbing to his feet. "Look, I've gotta go, but I'll see you later."

"Yeah. Sure." Renji watched as Ikkaku ran out to the courtyard and then shunpoed away. He wondered what he was going to do with the rest of his day. . . division six didn't have much work to do lately, and Byakuya was with his clan for the day. Not that Renji had heard it from the man himself. Renji looked across the courtyard to Byakuya's office. No, he really only knew what Byakuya was up to because he made it a point to. He made it a point to study the other man.

They had fought, a mere two times, since Renji had come to this division. Occasional spars with his subordinates was something Byakuya was obligated to do, from time to time, and was a task the captain treated as mere annoyance than anything else. He was never really serious about it, never had to be in order to get his opponents to concede defeat. Renji lasted longer than the seated officers, sure, but had been defeated both times all the same. And both times, Byakuya had had a bored tilt to his chin, a dull gleam to his eyes as they looked off at some distant point.

But Renji studied. Studied Byakuya's every move, every tick that made the man who he was. He watched every time Byakuya deigned to accept a spar, watched every time they were on a mission together. Heart trembling but hands steady, he would watch and take note, waiting for the day he would be able to have a serious fight with Byakuya.

Renji sighed as he got up, brushing wrinkles from the fabric of his yukata. It still wasn't even noon; he had a whole day ahead of him. In truth, his days in the sixth division weren't much different than his days in the eleventh division. He had more work and more varied duties, but that was it. He spent his spare time here either training or practicing futsal, just as he had done in the eleventh division. He contemplated going to find Rikichi and hanging up the futsal recruitment flyers Hisagi had printed up for him, but he didn't really feel like it today. Renji dropped the flyers on his desk, and left the headquarters.

Renji popped back into his living quarters just briefly to change before leaving Seireitei altogether. He hurried through Rukongai, until he found himself in the wastelands surrounding it. It was quiet, here, one of Renji's two favorite places to train. He came to a familiar cropping of rocks, and sat underneath one of them, drawing out his zanpakuto. Zabimaru, he knew, was always up for a spar. He held his sword in his lap, calling out Zabimaru's name and transporting into his inner world.

Only to find himself falling into deep, deep water. His limbs flailed for a moment as water started to flood his lungs. He held his breath and swam upwards. Or, at least, he swam in the direction he thought was up. Thankfully, miraculously, he broke the surface. Renji gasped for breath as his head and chest all but exploded into the air, water flying everywhere around him. He had fallen into a lake, surface green from the broad foliage reflected there. All around him was a thick, vibrant jungle of primordial scale. Zabimaru's jungle.

Renji swam, than waded, to the surface, clothes and hair saturated and dripping with water. There was a shadow in between some trees, darker than those around it. A hulking shadow with a familiar shape.

"You're too slow."

Renji pulled out his zanpakuto and got into a defensive stance.

"Your progress is too slow. How do you ever hope to surpass him, when you shake just treading on his shadow?"

Steel clashed against steel, and Renji found his feet skidding back a good foot. He lost himself in the fight. In the clash of sword against sword. He was strong, he told himself. He was a vice captain of the Gotei 13. He could be as strong as, stronger than, Byakuya. A litany, repeated over and over in his mind, motivating him. It felt like hours that he spent in his jungle. The water evaporated from him, only to replaced by sweat. Zabimaru, the perfect training partner, never tired, only spurred him on as he grew more and more fatigued.

And then, out of nowhere, the jungle turned dark. The shape of the trees and leaves could barely be seen, the light cut off as if by the thickest of clouds. They stopped mid-strike. In the stillness Renji could hear something foreign. Heavy breaths that didn't belong to him or Zabimaru.

"There's something out there," Zabimaru said.

Renji cried out as a flash of pain coursed through him. It yanked him from his inner world, back into his real body, just as said body was thrown into the side of a large rock. As he was knocked down on all fours he propelled himself back up again, back a few meters, sword up. In front of him were the skeletal mask and fluid black body of a gillian.

Shit. At least it was alone. Renji jumped up into the air and shot towards the gillian, his arms swiping his sword in a downward slash. Despite its slowness it was able to avoid the majority of the stroke. The stroke still cut, liquid still came oozing out of the wound, but it didn't incapacitate. Renji felt the gillian smack him backwards, its body hitting Renji's stomach with enough force to push the air out of his lungs. He flew backwards in the air, catching himself just in time to mostly avoid the jagged edge of a rock. But the rock still sliced a line through his kosode, cut through his skin, sliced through a few centimeters of fat and meat.

Renji managed to fall onto the ground without breaking any bones, even as the pain spread through him in waves. He pressed a hand against the wound, feeling hot liquid pour over it. His hand was shaking. If only the gillian hadn't caught him unaware, he wouldn't be in this position right now. . .

And then the Gillian cried out. A pitiful, painful sound, before the spirit particles that made the Gillian up were disbursed into the air. As it dissolved the man standing behind it came into view. Byakuya, his zanpakuto drawn, having just slashed through the gillian. For once, those gray eyes were staring directly at him. Not through him and not past him, but looking directly into Renji's own brown eyes. And there was nothing but derision and scorn in them.

 _How weak are you_ , they seemed to say, _that you can't defeat one solitary gillian_.

"Renji," Byakuya said. "Get cleaned up. We have a mission in the human world."

Renji nodded. His breath was caught in his throat, his heart sinking into his stomach. It took all his fortitude just to ask Byakuya a follow-up question, and his voice still cracked when he did it. "What is it, Taichou?"

"We are to arrest Kuchiki Rukia under charges of transferring her powers to a human and remaining in the human world for too long. She must be back brought to Seireitei to be sentenced."

Renji felt his blood run cold. Rukia. . . those charges. . . they were felonies punishable by death, in some cases. But, no, she was a Kuchiki now. Byakuya wouldn't let anything happen to his sister. They were family now, after all.

Renji forced a grin onto his face. They'd go find Rukia. Renji would give her a hard time, just like he always did. They'd maybe fight a little, and then they'd come back to Seireitei. And everything would be okay.

"Can I have ten minutes, Taichou?"

"Be ready in five," Byakuya replied, and then he was gone. Renji was all too quick to follow.


	2. Byakuya's Change of Heart

One minute Byakuya's vision was focused on the young, orange-haired ryoka, feelings of gratitude welling deep in his chest. The next minute his vision was completely black. Gin's shinso had pierced him through completely, after all, and he was still heavily injured from his fight with Ichigo. It was no wonder that he could feel that aching pain even as he was unconscious. Images swirled through his head as his body slept. Hisana's smiling face. Rukia's grateful one. Ichigo's defiance, a type of pride in its own right.

Byakuya had failed. He had failed to uphold the law and see Rukia executed; he had failed to follow his heart and see Rukia saved by his own hand. There had been two paths open to Byakuya, and at first he had been too weak to choose between them. Then while he had ambled down one with doubt in his heart, Ichigo had pushed straight through the other, without wavering or looking back. The boy's strength of will made Byakuya question his own convictions. What had he been doing up until now? It had been so easy for his father to uphold the law while following his own heart. . . Byakuya felt as though he had failed to do either.

He slowly came back to consciousness, his mind taking in details even before his eyes opened. There were bandages wrapped around his chest and shoulder, reminding him of the recent fight even if the dull pain didn't. His hair was free of the weight of his kenseikan, making him feel almost naked. But where was he?

The air smelled artificially clean, a mix of antiseptics and a liberal use of cleaning products. The sheets below him and the blanket above him were crisp and rough, not at all like the bedding at his estate. The fourth division hospital. Light footsteps came into the room, echoing on the tiled floor, coming to a stop in front of Byakuya's bed. Byakuya opened his eyes to see a young female shinigami smiling down at him.

"How do you feel, Kuchiki-taichou?"

"I wish to be seated," he said, choosing to ignore her inquiry into his state of health.

Her eyes widened a little, but she was quick to acquiesce to his commands. "Of course, sir."

She walked close to his bed. As he rose up she positioned and fluffed the pillows behind him. After she was done he leaned back, pleased to note that his upper body was almost vertical in this position.

"Open the window," he said, "then you may leave."

"Yes, sir." The young girl rushed to the window and flung it open before scampering away, the purpose of her visit forgotten in the face of Byakuya's commanding presence.

Byakuya breathed in as the fresh air drifted into the room. This was much better. He saw now that he was on the third floor of the hospital, and he could see down into the busy streets of Seireitei. He supposed there was much to be done. Three captains gone, countless others injured, the Central 46 dead. He would not have much time for recovery.

A different set of footsteps came down the hallway then. Byakuya didn't have to turn to see who they belonged to, didn't have to turn to see his vice captain walk into the room. He heard Renji stop at the door, hesitating, before coming in and taking a seat in a wooden chair against the wall. He didn't say anything, and Byakuya didn't turn to face him. Their last conversation was flashing through Byakuya's mind.

"Since when have you been able to use ban kai?" he had asked.

"You wouldn't know," Renji had replied, "since you never did give a damn about your subordinates."

And the hatred that had dripped from every word had managed to surprise even Byakuya. He had left Renji barely alive afterwards, leaving fate to decide if help would arrive soon enough, if Renji should live or die.

Renji, who had fought with every ounce of his strength to save Rukia. Byakuya knew the history between them, of course. Rukia had been Renji's family, and Byakuya had taken her away. Byakuya had never felt that had been a negative thing; on the contrary, he had always believed it a great fortune for Rukia to have such an opportunity. Until now. At the very least, Renji had tried to save her. Renji would have been a much better man for someone like Rukia to call her family. . . he wouldn't forsake a sworn sister, or even a friend, for something as cold and unyielding as the law. A law whose application had proven to be a falsehood, issued by men long dead.

"You probably wish," Byakuya said, "that I were dead."

There was silence for between them for a few moments. He could hear the folds of Renji's shihakushou move as the other man shifted in his chair.

"No. . ." Renji finally said, surprising Byakuya again. "If you were to die, I wouldn't have a reason to become stronger."

The words comforted him, somehow. Funny how a few days ago Byakuya could care less what Renji thought or said. But now, after Byakuya had fought to see Rukia killed, after Renji had fought to near death to save her, Renji's words were almost an absolution. He didn't hate Byakuya, after all, didn't blame him for the path he had taken. He was a bigger man than Byakuya had ever given him credit for.

"Taichou, I-"

But then a rush of wind came through the open window, bright orange hair appearing in its frame. Byakuya's eyes widened as his hair fluttered to the side. As soon as the ryoka was in the window Renji was out of his seat, and then the two were arguing right over Byakuya's bed, their loud voices ringing in his ear drums. He heard Rukia's name in there, but most of it was too loud and fast for him to catch. And then his given name fell from the ryoka's lips.

"Sorry, Renji, Byakuya. We gotta go."

The sound of it made Byakuya bristle. Renji was staring out the window, but then he turned to look at Byakuya. Concern fluttered over Renji's features.

"What's wrong, Taichou?"

"Nothing," Byakuya said, schooling his features into their usual countenance. "It's just that boy. He needs to learn to respect his elders."

Renji just blinked at him several times, brown eyes gazing into gray. And then he laughed. A loud, boisterous chuckle. "Yeah, well, that's Ichigo for you."

Byakuya wasn't sure what surprised him more. The fact that Renji was on a first name basis with Ichigo, or the fact that Renji had just laughed in front of him. Renji had always been tense and curt around him. Obedient, but in the way a stray dog was to someone who regularly fed it scraps, ready to turn and bite if ever given the incentive. But this Renji wasn't so uncomfortable around him. This Renji had just laughed, light gleaming in his eyes as he did so. And Byakuya wasn't sure how he felt about it.

"Still," Byakuya said, grasping onto a topic in order to distract himself, "if I ever see him again, I will be sure to correct his behavior."

It sounded suspiciously like Renji was suppressing another chuckle. "Yeah. You should do that."

They stared at each other for a few moments before Renji backed up a little bit. There was a small smile on Renji's face, and Byakuya wondered what he was thinking.

"Do you need anything else, Taichou? I have to check in with Commander Yamamoto, but I can come back with anything you need."

"That won't be necessary," Byakuya said. He was sure one of his servants would be here momentarily, now that he was awake. "Please get me Unohana-taichou. I'm sure she won't allow me to leave before she gives her clearance, and I'd like to get back to headquarters as soon as possible."

"Yes, taichou." Renji bowed slightly before he left, leaving Byakuya to his own thoughts.

As he was left alone, Byakuya fond his mind wondering back on his conversation with Renji. Renji had been about to say something before they were interrupted, and he wondered what it was. He would have to remember to ask him about it later.

Thankfully it didn't take long for Unohana to arrive. Byakuya had pride in his abilities, but he knew enough about the deceptively gentle woman not to cross her. And leaving her hospital without her permission would no doubt throw him onto her bad side. She gave him a quick examination before nodding.

"I'm sure you're anxious, confined to a hospital bed," she said, "and everything seems to be fine. You're free to go."

Byakuya nodded. "Thank you, Unohana-taichou."

She smiled as she walked out of the room, and Byakuya got out of bed. He disrobed and folded the off-white hospital yukata on the bed, replacing it with the shinigami uniform he found in the closet. A servant must have left it there while he had been unconscious. As he pulled the white captain's haori over his shoulders he felt a little bit more complete. Now he would only have to go home to have a new set of kenseikan put back into his hair.

The next day Byakuya was feeling more like himself. Yamamoto had spoken to all the vice captains and captains that weren't incapacitated the day before, and he spoke to the rest this afternoon. There actually wasn't much to discuss, and the major goals for the time being were clear enough: monitor Aizen's activities as best they could; investigate the fifth division, central 46 chambers, and great spirit library to see if they could discover Aizen's intentions; find shinigami talented enough to take over the vacancies left by Aizen, Gin, and Tousen; and prepare for war, because it seemed as though Aizen's ambitions would lead to one.

After the meeting Byakuya left the first division conference room and was surprised to find Renji there. His vice captain was waiting against a wall, fidgeting a little on his feet. When he saw Byakuya he ran over to him, mild concern written over his features.

"Taichou," he said, as he got closer, "I've been looking for you. How was the meeting?"

"Fine, Renji." But Byakuya gathered that the other man wasn't here to talk about that. "Can I help you with something?"

"Yeah, umm. . ." Now that Renji had his attention, he seemed a little hesitant to speak. "Just. . . some of the other officers came to me about some stuff that happened this morning, with you, and they wanted me to make sure you were feeling okay."

Byakuya blinked. He had no idea what Renji was talking about. He had spent the morning in the sixth division headquarters, attending to his duties and making sure everything was running correctly.

"Well, you know, Mihane said that you told her she did a good job on a report she filed last week. She said she burst into tears when you said that, said she'd never heard one word of praise from you towards her or her father. Then Rikichi said you asked him if he wanted to spar. He nearly had a heart attack, by the way, just from you talking to him."

"It is vital that we prepare for the worse with Aizen," Byakuya said. "This includes combat abilities, and Rikichi is in dire need of more training."

"Yeah, but, you've never asked anyone to spar out of the blue like that. We're always the ones asking you."

Byakuya blinked some more. This line of questioning was a little preposterous. He was only attending to his duties as captain, after all.

Renji placed a hand on Byakuya's forehead. "You got a fever or something?"

Byakuya flushed a little at the human contact, partly insulted and partly. . . confused. He swatted Renji's hand away. "Renji. I admit that we have grown to understand one another more than we used to, but you are still out of bounds to touch me so casually."

Renji frowned and looked a little bit sheepish. "Yeah, you're right. Sorry, Taichou."

"It is fine," Byakuya replied, happy enough to leave Renji with that gentle reprimand. "And in regards to your concern over my health, when we fought, you accused me of being apathetic to the skills and activities of those under my command. From now on, I will be careful to regard my subordinates more closely."

Now it was Renji blinking at him in a daze. "Oh. Okay."

"Is that all, Renji?"

"Yeah. Oh, wait, no. You probably won't want to come, but we're seeing Ichigo off now, and Rukia wanted me to at least ask if you were inter-"

"I will come," Byakuya said, not sure if he should be even further insulted by the way Renji's eyes widened in surprise. "I owe Kurosaki Ichigo a debt of gratitude. He saved Rukia, when I could not."

His last line was spoken in a softer tone than the rest of his words, and after he said it Byakuya was vaguely embarrassed to have spoken it aloud. It was a private sentiment, after all, and he wasn't sure what had compelled him to share it with Renji. So he was relieved when understanding flooded Renji's features.

"Yeah," Renji said. "I get that."

"Let us go, then."

Renji nodded as he led the way, Byakuya following after him. They made their way to a clearing where Ukitake had prepared a senkaimon. Byakuya was mildly surprised by the number of people who had come to see Ichigo off. The young boy had made a surprising number of friends, considering he was their enemy not so long ago. Most of the captains and vice captains of the Gotei 13 were here.

Byakuya and Renji were standing close enough that they could hear Ichigo speaking with Ukitake, and Byakuya was irked to no end when he heard Ichigo actually refer to the man as "Ukitake-san." So the impertinent brat was capable of showing proper respect when he wanted to. Afterwards Ichigo shared a short goodbye with almost everyone there, though Byakuya was content to stand back and watch. He had already said his thanks; his presence was now all that was required. Ichigo shared a longer goodbye with Rukia, and then he and his friends were stepping through the gate. The crowd watched them disappear.

"Now that Ichigo's gone," Rangiku said, "we should celebrate his successful homecoming. Who wants to drink?"

Hisagi and Kira paled as Hitsugaya rolled his eyes.

"I'm going back to headquarters," Hitsugaya said, disappearing in a flash.

"Nii-sama?" Rukia asked, her voice hesitant. "Would you like to come?"

It was clear that she didn't expect him to come, and Byakuya didn't have the intention of going. But then he felt an arm wrap around his shoulders, and looked to the side to see Ukitake smiling at him.

"You should come, Byakuya. Some of the other captains will be there, so it will be a good opportunity for inter-division communication."

When Ukitake phrased it in a way that made it seem work-related, it made it hard for Byakuya to say no. He still thought of protesting, but Rukia was beaming at him now. And at any rate Ukitake was already pulling him forward. He decided to join them for one cup of sake before leaving.

A good number of the original crowd soon found themselves in a Seireitei bar nearby, and Byakuya felt himself ushered to a table with Ukitake, Kyoraku,and Zaraki. He frowned to see Zaraki sitting there, but the other man just grinned at him.

"Zaraki," Ukitake said, willfully oblivious to the tension between Byakuya and Zaraki. "I didn't see you at the send-off for Ichigo."

"Yeah," Zaraki replied. "Got lost. It's a shame, I was looking to fight him at least one more time. But at least I made it for the alcohol."

"Well, it's always good to see you," Ukitake continued, the consummate diplomat.

Throughout his conversation with Ukitake, Zaraki was still staring at Byakuya.

"Too bad the execution didn't go through," Zaraki said to him. "Bet you're real upset."

Byakuya didn't even bother with an response. Instead he sat down, noticing that the other tables were already ordering rounds of whatever the cheapest sake and beer the bar had. Ukitake flagged down a waitress, mumbling something about how the first round was on him.

"What bottles of dai ginjo sake do you have today?" he asked her.

Byakuya was relieved to remember that Ukitake had a sophisticated enough palette when it came to sake. Well, he was aristocracy after all, even if his family was among the lower-class. The waitress described the different dai ginjo sakes they had in stock as the captains waited.

Zaraki's fingers tapped against the table in a repeated melody, apparently the only one of the four without the patience to wait quietly. "Do we even need to bother with this dye gingo crap? Alcohol's alcohol, let's just get something that'll get us drunk already."

"Already taken care of," Ukitake said, as the waitress rushed off to fulfill their order.

"Of course," Byakuya said to Zaraki, "I would hardly expect you to appreciate good sake. It seems a waste to let you drink it."

"In that case, I'll make sure to drink lots."

Byakuya didn't know why he had even spoken. The best way to deal with Zaraki was to ignore him. If Byakuya had still been an impetuous youth, no doubt he would have risen to Zaraki's constant taunts. But as it was the anger only simmered quietly within him, his expression still and movements minimal.

The waitress soon reappeared with a bottle of sake and four sake cups, and placed them done in front of the captains before rushing to another table. Even though Ukitake paid, Kyoraku did the honors of serving them, and soon they were all lifting the small porcelain cups into the air.

"Kanpai!" Kyoraku said, chugging his sake down in one gulp.

Zaraki was soon to follow, and the two poured themselves more. Byakuya cringed at the spectacle. At least Ukitake knew to sip and savor the taste of the fine sake.

As the conversation turned to the state of the Gotei 13 and Aizen's betrayal, Byakuya found his eyes wondering to where Renji was sitting with Rukia. They were at a table overcrowded with other shinigami; apparently people had just kept dragging seats over until they couldn't fit anymore. Byakuya didn't recognize most of them, but there were some familiar faces. The vice-captains of the third and ninth divisions, and several seated officers from the eleventh.

They were all being loud and obnoxious. Byakuya's sister included, to his shock and chagrin. And she had always been so reserved around him. Renji especially was causing a stir, slamming his beer mug down ever few minutes and telling jokes that made the whole table laugh. He really did seem like an eleventh division man, through and through. Byakuya couldn't help but note the fact that everyone there seemed to enjoy Renji's company very much. Then he couldn't help but wonder if this was the first time Renji and Rukia had been able to spend meaningful time together since Rukia became a Kuchiki. Well, as meaningful as time spent in a bar could be.

An hour later, Byakuya wondered what he was still doing at the bar. He felt a little lightheaded, never one to handle his alcohol particularly well. He had decided he would leave after one cup, but his cup still wasn't finished. He looked down. Actually, it was still quite full. He looked over at Ukitake, who only smiled gently back at him, a bottle of sake in his hands. Oh. Byakuya narrowed his eyes. He should have known the other captains wouldn't let him go with just one cup. At any rate, he was leaving now.

Byakuya pushed his chair backwards and stood up. The room spun a little around him, but it was nothing he couldn't handle. He excused himself from the table, noting Ukitake and Kyoraku's disappointed expressions and Zaraki's indifferent one. He had made it outside when Renji appeared next to him.

"Taichou? Are you leaving already?"

Byakuya nodded. "I have imbibed enough for the afternoon. I'm going back to headquarters now."

Byakuya took another step forward, eyes widening when he, Kuchiki Byakuya, stumbled a step. Renji's hand wrapped around his arm to steady him, but it's not as though he couldn't catch himself on his own. Renji's fingers were much too hot on his skin, and he yanked his arm from Renji's grasp.

"Thank you, Renji," he said, "but I can handle myself."

Renji looked like he wanted to say something, but he didn't. He bit his lip slightly before opening his mouth again. "Oh. Okay."

"Nii-sama?"

Byakuya inwardly sighed. And now Rukia was there.

"Are you leaving?"

"Yes," Byakuya replied. "I have duties to attend to."

"Well, thank you for coming. I know it meant a lot to Ichigo."

Byakuya doubted it, but he nodded anyway. Rukia and Renji were sharing a look between them, a concerned type of expression, and it irked Byakuya that they were most likely silently communicating about him. He wasn't that obviously intoxicated, was he?

"I think I'm going to go home," Rukia said. "Do you think you and Renji could accompany me?"

It was an obvious ploy to get Byakuya to go home instead of to the division headquarters. Byakuya was well aware of that, but found himself nodding regardless. It would be wise to lay down and perhaps sleep off a little bit of the alcohol; it would make him more effective when he did eventually return to work. Still, having Renji come with them was a bit of overkill in his mind. He supposed they thought it a precaution, in case Byakuya fainted and needed someone to carry him, though nothing of the sort was sure to happen.

The three of them walked towards the Kuchiki estate in silence. Byakuya's head was still spinning, and he could feel Renji's body heat radiate from beside him. For some reason it made Byakuya flush, but he gathered it was the fault of the alcohol. It wasn't long before they found there way to the gates of the Kuchiki estate.

It was a sprawling estate, reminiscent of feudal Japanese castles and compounds. The gates opened up into what looked like a small town, with rectangular wooden houses built around one larger building. The grounds were perfectly manicured, as were the many courtyards and gardens that were scattered throughout, though those were invisible from their current perspective. As Byakuya made his way towards the main house, he couldn't help but notice that Renji was doing his best to look in every direction at once, eyes open in wonder.

"Please," Byakuya said, as they entered the main dwelling house, "make yourself at home. I'll be retiring to my quarters for a bit."

Renji nodded as Byakuya left them in the entrance way. Byakuya made his way to his bedroom. The servants, having realized he was home, ran ahead and opened the door before he had to. He dismissed them with his hand as he entered his room, and the door was shut behind him. As soon as he laid down on his mattress his eyes shut, his mind eager to sleep off the effects of the alcohol.

When Byakuya awoke, there was still daylight outside. However long he had been asleep, it couldn't have been too much time. But he felt worlds better. He stood up and adjusted his shihakushou and kenseikan, making sure everything was in order before he left the room. Pleased with his appearance, he made his way out. He was walking back to the front door when he couldn't help but notice that there were voices inside the tea room.

Byakuya slowed down as he approached. The voices belonged to Renji and Rukia, there was no doubt about it. So they were taking the time to converse with one another. Byakuya drew closer. He could see in through the half-open door, now, and to his surprise he saw Rukia in a prostrate position. They were both sitting in seiza position on the tatami mats, of course, but Rukia was bent over, her palms pressed against the floor.

"I'm sorry," she said.

Byakuya knew this was a private moment. He knew that he should leave, but for some reason he couldn't bring himself to go.

"Hey," Renji said, grabbing Rukia's shoulder and lifting her up, "what are you apologizing for? It's my first visit to the famous Kuchiki mansion, you should be a better host than this. Order us some cake or something."

If he was jesting, Rukia didn't really respond to it. Her lips turned up a little bit, but it was a slight, forced movement. Her eyes were focused on the ground, a somberness to them that Byakuya had seen all too many times. Whenever Byakuya was distant towards her, whenever anyone spoke of Shiba Kaien. And all those times when she had just sat and stared out the window of the southern-most room, the one facing in the direction of the Inuzuri, no doubt thinking about Renji and the distance Byakuya had put between them.

"I left you behind," Rukia continued. "Just like Hisana left me behind. You were my family, and I left you for a better life."

"What are you talking about?" Renji chuckled, but it was a stiff, strange sound.

Renji punched Rukia's shoulder, and Byakuya was shocked to see that he didn't hold back much. Rukia all but crashed onto the floor before picking herself up.

"I wasn't some baby who couldn't look after myself," Renji continued. He puffed up his chest, grinning smugly. "I was a top student in the academy. I had a much better future as a shinigami than you did, Kuchiki or not. What seat are you again?"

"Idiot," Rukia said, but at least Renji's words brought a small smile to her lips. "You never visited me after I was adopted."

"You were a Kuchiki. How the hell was a street rat like me supposed to see you?" For a moment, something tortured passed through Renji's eyes before he shut it out.

Rukia, facing the floor, hadn't seen it, but Byakuya had. He had always dismissed Renji as just a simple street thug before. A lower-class mongrel who Byakuya was forced to take on as a vice captain, simply because there was no one else more qualified up for the position. But he saw now that Renji was more complicated than Byakuya had given him credit for, and had been shouldering a pain and a loss equal to anything a noble might feel.

"I'm so sorry, Renji," Rukia said. She sounded on the verge of tears as she apologized.

"Idiot," Renji said, reaching out to pull her against him. It was almost comical, seeing little Rukia pressed against Renji's broad chest. "I already said, don't apologize to me. If you're happy as a Kuchiki, than I'm happy. So don't you dare say sorry to me."

Renji's complete devotion to Rukia broke Byakuya's heart, for the simple reason that it reminded him of his own unreturned emotions towards Hisana. He remembered all too clearly what it felt like. He remembered how it was to want nothing more than another person's well-being. To love and not mind if that love was unreturned, as long as that one person was happy. But what would it be like, he thought, to have those feelings returned. . . to feel someone's unwavering devotion focused on him for once. To be the subject of, say, Renji's adoration.

Byakuya's eyes widened as he realized where his thoughts had strayed. He forgot to breath, such was the shock. But now the small thought was growing, taking on a life inside his mind. Renji, doting on him, supporting him. That fiery spirit inside the man completely and utterly devoted to Byakuya. Byakuya felt his cheeks warm, felt his hands warm. It was utterly ridiculous.

He shook his head. He was projecting. He had never felt that kind of affection directed towards himself, and now that he saw Renji displaying it towards his sister, he couldn't help but imagine what it would feel like. It meant nothing. He took a breath. There was a lull in the conversation, which meant it was the perfect time to make his presence known. He knocked on the door and then entered.

"I see that you two are still here," he said, his face a perfect mask. "I'm returning to headquarters now, so please feel free to make use of the premises."

But to his surprise, Renji was standing up. He thought for sure that Renji would have wanted to spend more time with Rukia; they had decades to make up for, after all.

"I'll come with you, Taichou," Renji said, walking towards him. Renji turned back to wave goodbye to Rukia, and the two men started to walk towards the front door.

Byakuya couldn't help but feel a little awkward given the scene he had just witness, given what he had just imagined about Renji. Though he doubted that it showed in his face or in his actions. He had to banish those thoughts from his head. He had done enough to Rukia, it was time to do something for her instead.

"If you wish to visit Rukia at the estate again," he said, feeling Renji perk up behind him at the words, "please feel free to do so. I know that she will enjoy your company."

"Thank you, Taichou."

"And if you wish to court her properly, than I give you my permission."

The words stopped Renji in his tracks. Byakuya stopped and turned around to see Renji standing there with an expression that was equal parts surprised and confused.

"I realize this must come as a shock, given your pedigree," Byakuya continued, "but I would be remiss if I stood in the way of my sister's happiness."

"Umm. . . taichou. . . I think you're misunderstanding something." Renji opened his mouth, then closed it, then opened it again. Then he shook his head altogether, apparently going with another approach. "Rukia's like family to me, it's not a romantic thing."

Byakuya raised a slender eyebrow. "I had heard rumors that you were popular among women. It couldn't be that you are just stringing my sister along, could it?"

"No, no! Course not!" Renji waved his hands frantically in front of him in protest. "It's just. . . I mean, yeah, the ladies like me-"

Byakuya glowered at the words.

"-but I'm not interested in them. And I'm not interested in Rukia, either, not as anything more than a really close friend. The truth is, well. . . I prefer the company of men."

Byakuya blinked, fighting to control the flush that threatened to spread over his face. Soul Society was similar to feudal Japan and the pre-modern West in that people were not considered homosexual or heterosexual; only sexual acts themselves were classified that way. It was rare for someone to identify as a lover of just one gender, even if heterosexual marriages were the norm. But here was Renji, saying that he only liked men.

"I see," Byakuya finally said. "In that case, I suppose you will not need my permission to court Rukia."

"No. I'm good."

"Very well then." Deciding they no longer needed to discuss this topic, Byakuya turned and started to walk again. Soon after Renji's footsteps followed. They made their way to headquarters without saying another word to each other, and then disappeared into their respective offices.

Once Byakuya was in his office, door shut, he sat down at his desk. He stared down at the paper there, but couldn't read any of the words. His mind kept repeating one singular fact, over and over: Renji liked men. He didn't know why that piece of information was affecting him so much. Or maybe he did know, and he just didn't want to admit it. Byakuya wondered what he should do. . .

And then he realized. He was such a fool. He shouldn't do anything. Renji might like men, but that didn't mean that he would like Byakuya. Byakuya knew all too well from his experience with Hisana that romantic interest was not always reciprocated. And why would Renji be interested in a man like him, a man who had gone along with the execution of his own sister? A man who had tried to kill Renji's closest friend and confidant?

It was a ridiculous notion. Byakuya's chest clenched, but the words on the page before him became a little bit clearer. Renji was his vice captain. He was Renji's captain. There would be nothing more than that. A small part of Byakuya protested, but he pushed it down deep inside of himself and locked it away. This was their relationship, nothing more. He would not give in to some sophomoric intra-office crush.

Byakuya took one deep breath and picked up his pen. Completely calm, he could read the words on the paper perfectly, and he resumed his work for the day. He thought nothing of Renji until the end of the work day. The sun was setting as a knock sounded on his door.

"Come in," he said, and the shouji screen slid open. He knew that it was Renji, and couldn't even bring himself to look up at the man.

"Taichou. I just wanted to let you know that I'm leaving."

"Very good, Renji. I will see you tomorrow."

"Okay. Have a good night, Taichou."

Byakuya's pen stalled on the page. There was just half a moment before Renji would close that door again, and the part of Byakuya that he thought he had locked away was calling at him to say something. Byakuya couldn't help it. He looked up. "Renji."

Chocolate brown eyes looked down at him. "Yes?"

And now that he had his attention, Byakuya wasn't sure what to say. He had been a fool to stop the other man; it's not as though he was going to confess to his vice captain like a giggling schoolgirl. Byakuya grasped at straws, trying to remember unfinished conversations that they could take up.

"Yesterday in the hospital," Byakuya said, finally remembering something. "You were about to say something to me when we were interrupted. What was it?"

Renji looked a little sheepish as a hand came up to scratch at the back of his head. "Oh, that. You know, at the time, I thought it sounded cool, but it's actually kind of cheesy. Something about following you forever, or something like that."

Byakuya forgot to breath for just a second. He was careful that his expression didn't change, careful that his emotions didn't betray him. He knew that Renji didn't mean that in a romantic way, that he was speaking as a vice captain for his captain, but he couldn't help but feel the subject of at least a small part of Renji's devotion.

"I used to think I hated you," Renji said. "I thought that I hated you for taking Rukia away. I thought that one day I'd beat you and take her back. But I realized that wasn't it. When I first saw you, you were so strong, stronger than anyone I'd ever met. Your reiatsu froze me in my steps, made me break out in a sweat. You were amazing, Taichou. I think what I really wanted was for a man as great as you to acknowledge a man like me."

"Renji. . ." Byakuya didn't know what to say, couldn't think of anything that was adequate. His heart was pounding in his chest and Renji was looking at him expectantly. Waiting. "You are an accomplished man in your own right. I am happy to have you as my vice captain."

Renji's expression didn't change. He just nodded. Byakuya wondered if that wasn't enough. It didn't feel like enough. After all, Renji's confession had sent Byakuya's heart racing, but Byakuya's response didn't seem to have any effect on Renji.

"You may go," he finally said.

Renji nodded as he closed the door, his footsteps leading away. Byakuya leaned back in his chair, hands in his lap as he stared out into space. He couldn't deny it anymore. He wasn't sure when it had happened, but it was clear to him now: he was romantically interested in his vice captain.


	3. A New Mission

Renji was half-dreading this. When Yamamoto had told him to look for people who could be developed into captain material within the next few decades, he hadn't known that Renji knew someone who was qualified right now. A little guilty to be keeping that little secret from Yamamoto, he had resolved to do whatever he could to convince Ikkaku to accept a captaincy position. The Gotei 13 was in shambles, after all, surely Ikkaku would want to do what he could to help.

Renji found Ikkaku easily enough in the eleventh division, but he was surrounded by the unseated officers, all of them deep in conversation. Renji hung back, keeping his presence hidden as he waited. He'd have to wait until Ikkaku was alone. No one else but Yumichika knew Ikkaku had obtained ban kai, after all, and Ikkaku wouldn't be too happy if Renji let it out in front of everyone. He followed Ikkaku around for about an hour before the other man was alone, walking down an empty side street.

"I don't know why you're following me," Ikkaku said, still walking, "but you might as well come out, Renji."

Well, here was his chance. Renji shuunpoed off the roof and onto the ground a few meters behind Ikkaku. Now that he was here he couldn't help but be nervous, the significance of his task not lost on him. "I have a favor to ask you."

"Well?" Ikkaku asked. "What is it?"

Renji gritted his teeth together, then prostrated himself on the ground. He kneeled down, palms against the ground as he looked into the pressed dirt of the street. "Ikkaku-san. I'm here to ask you to become a captain of the Gotei 13."

"I refuse."

The suddenness and finality of the answer shocked Renji. He lifted his head, eyes wide as he looked up at Ikkaku. Surely, Ikkaku should know the importance of this request.

"Sorry," Ikkaku said, turning back to look down on Renji. "But you'll have to find someone else."

As Ikkaku started to walk off Renji propelled himself into standing position, fists clenched at his side. Desperation welled up inside him. . . aside from Ikkaku, who could do this? It was true that Renji himself had achieved ban kai, but that wasn't the only thing required for a captain's position. If he was honest he would admit his ban kai wasn't even battle ready. . . he would need at least a few years to train with it; most people took ten.

"Wait!" Renji yelled out. "There can't be anyone but you. Third, fifth, or ninth, you can take your pick for all I care. You have to help fill in the holes left by Aizen's group! You have to become one of the next captains!"

Renji was out of breath when he finished, but Ikkaku seemed unmoved. He was turning around again, just a little bit.

"You dumbass," he said. "We already went through this before, when you first found out I even had ban kai. I don't want to become a captain. If I become a captain, I won't be a soldier of Zaraki-taichou anymore. Your dream is to someday surpass Kuchiki Byakuya, right?"

Renji couldn't help but nod in response. Even now that he had come to a better understanding with his captain, even now that they had a tentative relationship, Byakuya was his goal. Renji thought that Byakuya would always be his goal; the man was just that strong.

"Well, I only have one dream. To fight and die under Zaraki's command. That's all there is to it. If you get it, don't ask me again."

Renji's lips pulled together in a tight frown, but he couldn't deny Ikkaku's convictions. He understood what it was to have a goal that drove you. "Yes, sir."

He was about to shunpo away when Ikkaku stopped him, the other man's tone of voice taking on a more casual tone.

"So how are you doing with that captain of yours, anyway?"

Renji shrugged. It had only been a few days since he had spoken to Byakuya in the hospital. Renji remembered walking into the hospital room and seeing Byakuya sitting there, a distant look to his eyes as he gazed out the window. At that moment, Byakuya had looked. . . vulnerable. It had shocked Renji, a little bit, tugged on something inside of him.

"Fine, I guess," Renji answered. Since the day in the hospital, Byakuya had been different. Not a completely different person, not by a long shot, just a somewhat less rigid version of who he had been. "He's more. . . approachable now, more involved with the division members. You know I think he might even have a sense of humor."

Ikkaku scoffed at that. "Are you kidding me?"

"I'm not sure, actually," Renji said, completely confused himself. "This morning he told me that he uses Senbonzakura to cut his hair. I still can't figure out if he was joking or not."

Ikkaku laughed, a loud, boisterous noise. "You know, knowing that guy, he might totally be for real."

"Yeah." Renji smiled. "Probably."

Ikkaku was about to say something else when a hell butterfly fluttered between them, then came to land on Renji's shoulder. Its message was a short caress against his ear, and then it fluttered away. Renji frowned.

"Something wrong?" Ikkaku asked.

"No," Renji replied. "Just Commander Yamamoto wants to see me again. I have no idea why, though."

"Yeah, well, you probably shouldn't keep him waiting. Might be important."

Renji nodded, then shunpoed away. It didn't take him long to get to Yamamoto's office in the first division. When he got there, he was not surprised to find Byakuya already sitting across a low table from Yamamoto, both of them sipping cups of tea. Renji bowed as he entered the room, waiting for Yamamoto to invite him to sit.

"Renji," Yamamoto said. "Please join us."

Renji did so, taking a seat at the table as Yamamoto poured him a cup of tea.

"As you two know," Yamamoto said, "I have assigned tasks to various members to the Gotei 13, as we prepare for whatever it is Aizen is planning. I charged you both with discovering and fostering captain material, but I'm aware that this particular task could take years. So I'm assigning you to a mission to the human world, for now."

Renji sat up a little bit in anticipation. A mission to the human world often meant the opportunity to collect bounties on powerful hollows. And enough bounties could mean that Renji could afford a pair of sunglasses to replace the ones that Ichigo had broken during their fight.

"The local shinigami in a rural area of Japan has obtained reports of what appears to be a pseudo-arrancar. It might not even be relevant to Aizen, but that's what we need you two to find out. Have you ever heard of the Baku?"

Byakuya nodded over his tea cup. "A benevolent spirit in Japanese folklore. It eats nightmares and bad dreams."

"Yes, well, as you know folklore often has within it a grain of truth. There have been hollows in the past that have been able to travel into a person's dreams; no doubt this is what started the myth. The benevolent part is, most likely, a human creation. We believe this pseudo-arrancar has such an ability. It travels inside a person's dream and traps him there; once trapped, it can consume his spirit energy."

"What evidence do we have?" Byakuya asked.

"Human corpses have shown up dead in their sleep, with no causes of death as far as humans can make out. I realize that it's the flimsiest of evidence, but the local shinigami is convinced this is the work of an entity stronger than a hollow, and I trust her intuition. She will be assigned to a different location and you two will be sent to her post; in addition to investigating this phenomenon, you will take over her duties."

Sweet, Renji thought, hoping that the town was a hotbed for spiritual activity.

"Because there is so much we don't know, it is necessary for you to stay in the human world for an extended period of time and interact with humans. To that end, we have prepared gigais for both of you. Housing and human currency have also been taken care of."

Renji cast a quick glance over at Byakuya. His captain was sipping his tea, seemingly unbothered by the information. But Renji couldn't help but fidget a little bit. He had never stayed long in the human world, and Ichigo and his friends were the only ones he had ever interacted with.

"Will there be a substitute shinigami in the area to help us pass as humans?" Renji asked.

"No, of course not," Yamamoto said. "Substitute shinigami are exceedingly rare; Kurosaki Ichigo is one of a handful. Akon will accompany you to the human world. He will instruct you on human behavior as the research institute has studied it and teach you to care for your gigais. After that he will come back, and you two will be left on your own."

Renji nodded. He looked over at Byakuya again, but the other man seemed to be thinking over something with quite a bit of concentration.

"You two should actually head to the research institute as soon as you are mentally prepared for the mission," Yamamoto said. "Akon is ready to receive you. You are both dismissed."

Both Renji and Byakuya stood up and left the headquarters. Yamamoto had said "as soon as you are mentally prepared," but really that meant "as soon as possible."

"I will go delegate the rest of my responsibilities to the seated officers," Byakuya said. "I assume you also have work that needs to be finished before we leave."

Renji nodded, and with that they parted. It took Renji about an hour and a half to get his affairs in order, and after that he went to the research institute, not surprised to see Byakuya already there and talking with Akon. There was a female shinigami there as well, a pretty young thing with thick black hair and round glasses.

"Hello," she said, smiling as she ran up to Renji. "You must be Abarai-fukutaichou, I'm Tsukigata Tae, ninth division, unseated, the local shinigami in charge of Hikuno Town."

Renji swore the woman was talking a mile a minute.

"I've already briefed Kuchiki-taichou about what's going on and I've also written everything up in this report that you can take with you when you go to the human world on your investigation."

A thick stack of papers, about the size of a phone book, was deposited into Renji's arms.

"Basically what happened is that human bodies started to show up dead after mysterious circumstances and no one could figure out what was going on especially since human forensic scientists couldn't place a cause of death but the thing is they all died in their sleep and that's when I started to get suspicious so I went to the Great Spirit Library and learned about hollows that can trap and eat people while they're dreaming but this thing also seems to be targeting other hollows because hollows are showing up dead under the same circumstances and it must be something stronger than a hollow like a menos, right? Am I right?"

"Umm. . . yes?" Renji said, a little dazed from Tae's speech.

Tae took a huge breath. Her cheeks were tinged pink a little bit, but she seemed to be proud of herself for relaying the information to Renji.

"Of course you can always call me if you have any questions about what's going on," she said.

"I'm sure it won't come to that," Renji said. At least he was holding out hope.

Tae smiled and bowed. "Thank you for your hard work."

"Renji." It was Akon's voice now, and he gestured Renji over.

Renji walked over to where he and Byakuya were standing, looking down at their gigais. Byakuya's gigai was already dressed in what Renji assumed was modern clothing. Slim jeans that hug his legs, a graphic t-shirt with English words they couldn't understand on it, and a fitted black blazer. Akon had even given him little black fingerless gloves, probably to remind Byakuya of the tekkou he was always wearing in the shinigami realm. The gigai's hair was free of the usual kenseikan, and instead fell like silk around his face. It made the man look softer, Renji thought. Still masculine, but beautiful in a different way than normal. Renji's gigai, however, was still mostly naked. Renji pulled on the thin, tight white fabric that covered its groin.

"What the hell is this?" he asked. He could see his pubes over the top of the little shorts.

"Modern underwear," Akon said. "I believe humans call them boxer-briefs."

"Are they supposed to be this tight?" Renji asked. He didn't see how these were supposed to be comfortable. What was wrong with wearing his fundoshi? "Taichou, don't you think these are too tight?"

He looked up, but Byakuya was looking to the side, studying something there with great intensity. Renji frowned, wondering what was so interesting.

"They are fine, Renji," Byakuya said, not even looking.

Renji grinned as he cupped his gigai's impressive bulge. There was a cocky tilt to his chin as he turned towards Akon. "I see you got the size right."

"Renji," Byakuya snapped, his tone curt as he continued studying. . . well, whatever it was that he was studying. "Please remain professional."

Renji's hand fell to his side as he stood up straighter, grin falling from his face. "Yes, Taichou."

He gave his gigai another once over. Its hair was down, falling in a thick mess down its back, though Renji would no doubt put it up as soon as he could. He was surprised that the institute had kept his tattoos on the gigai, considered how conspicuous they were, but he wasn't going to complain about that.

"Why am I naked, anyway?"

"We like to let shinigami choose their own clothes, when possible," Akon said, walking over to a wall. He pulled it open to reveal a closet, full of odds and ends they had picked up from the human world over time.

"How about these?" Renji said, pulling out a pair of voluminous bright blue pants. The label on it said "Hammer Pants."

"Please limit your choices to this rack," Akon said, gesturing. "These are clothes from the most recent decade."

And Renji had thought those pants were pretty smart, too. He put them back and walked over to where Akon was standing. He pulled out articles of clothing, quickly assembling an outfit for the lab attendants to put on his gigai. Nothing fancy, but he thought it would look pretty cool together. Jeans that weren't quite as slim as Byakuya's, a plain black t-shirt, and a hoodie with a wicked awesome red and black design on it.

Once his gigai was clothed Renji looked over at Byakuya. Well, at least Byakuya wasn't busy studying that thing from before anymore.

"Are you ready to go, Taichou?"

Byakuya nodded.

The gigai were already being loaded onto a cart, looking eerily like dead human bodies stacked on top of each other. Akon took control of the cart before leading them outside, where a Senkaimon was ready to transport them. After it was open it was just a leisurely stroll to the human world. During the walk Akon treated them to a lecture on human behavior and traditions, and Renji hoped Byakuya was paying attention because there was no way in hell he could remember even half of it. Eventually they were at the opening to the human world, and Renji stepped through to find himself in front of a quant little cabin.

He breathed in the fresh air. . . there was a different quality to it, here, a life and freshness that you just couldn't feel in Soul Society. The cabin was nestled at the base of a mountain, dark green forest everywhere around them. There was a narrow dirt road leading downward, and Renji guessed that it led to the village.

"Because your activities might be considered suspicious by humans," Akon said, "we felt it would be best to keep you isolated. But the town is only a one mile walk from here, so it's still easy to reach."

Akon and Byakuya were walking inside. Renji took one more deep breath before he followed. It really was so different from the wasteland of Rukongai. There was life everywhere; not just in the smells but in the sounds too. The humming of insects and the singing of birds. . . soft footsteps breaking leaves as small animals traipsed through the forest. It was amazing. Renji could tell that he was going to like it in the human world.

Once inside, he saw that Akon had an array of devices on the table. Renji recognized most of them. Soul candy dispensers, soul separation gloves, memory modifiers. There was also a rectangular plastic device on the table, half covered with a keyboard and half with a screen. He assumed it was a human version of a computer, and Akon was showing them how to use it. Renji watched as he turned it on and showed them different applications.

"If you ever need to know how to do something," Akon said, "just youtube it. They have a tutorial for anything."

"Umm. . . okay." Renji watched as Akon opened up the site, but then they were moving on.

"If you're in your spirit form in the human world for too long," Akon reminded them, "you'll get tired. You'll need to enter your gigais in order to regain your strength. Gigais don't need to eat, although they can. But you two knew all this already."

"Of course," Byakuya replied.

As Akon went more in depth as to the operation of gigais, mostly stuff they already learned in academy, Renji took the opportunity to look around the house. It didn't take long, considering the size. The kitchen, dining, and living room space was all one room, and there were two small bedrooms branching off that one. Despite the small size, the house had obviously been prepared for their arrival. Everything was pristinely clean, and the sheets that sat on the beds looked much softer than the ones Renji had back in the barracks. He wondered if that was all done for Byakuya's benefit. Considering the influence of the four noble families on the Gotei 13, it wasn't unlikely.

Renji took the smaller bedroom, assuming Byakuya would be more comfortable with more space. From his window he could see a small wooden structure. Part of it was closed off, and he assumed it was the toilet. The other part was open, with a large shower head hanging from the top. There was a metal pump several meters from the bathroom structure, and Renji gathered that was their source of drinking water.

Renji went back to the main room to rejoin the others, but Akon was just about finished with his lecture.

"If you have any other questions," Akon said, "just call Soul Society on your soul phones."

"Is there an exchange outpost near by?" Byakuya asked.

Over the thousands of years that the Gotei 13 had been in existence, a small economy had popped up dealing with exchanging currency and goods between the human and spirit world. It was a business that wasn't entirely sanctioned, but allowed to continue nonetheless. Like Urahara's Shop, it provided shinigami goods to be purchased by Earth-bound shinigami and humans that might be more spiritually aware. It also exchanged currency and provided a place for shinigami in the living world to collect on bounties.

Of course, considering it wasn't too often that shinigami had extended stays in the real world, there weren't too many of these exchange outposts. So it wasn't a surprise when Akon shook his head in the negative.

"Give us a call if you need anything," he said, "and we'll try to be as quick as we can. The closest outpost is in Sendai, but of course that name doesn't mean a thing to you two. At any rate, if there's nothing else I can do, I'll be on my way back."

"We'll be fine," Byakuya said. "Your assistance is no longer needed."

"Thanks for everything, Akon," Renji said, giving the other man a salute goodbye.

"Sure thing." Akon opened up a senkaimon back to Soul Society, and then he was gone, the opening closing shut behind him.

Renji shot a look towards his gigai, then at Byakuya.

"We don't need them yet," Byakuya answered, heading out the door. "It will be easier to reach our destination in spirit form."

Renji nodded as he followed his captain out the door. As soon as they were out they started to shunpo up the mountain side. Their feet alighting down on tree branches once every few seconds, only to propel themselves forward again. In no time at all they were at a clearing more than halfway up the mountain. Byakuya landed before Renji, but Renji wasn't long to follow. He looked back as he landed. From here he could see down the mountain, could see the fog-covered valley they had just left. Through the fog he could see the small town of Hikuno, nestled in the middle of two green mountain ranges.

Renji turned and followed Byakuya before the other man got too ahead of him. It didn't take long for them to get to where they were going. Inside the forest, in a small alcove, lay the body of a hollow. It was a huge, hulking thing, the body curved like a small hill as it lay there. It looked like it was just asleep, but it was half disintegrated. Renji had never seen anything like this.

"What happened?" he asked. He came up and poked it lightly with his zanpakuto, but it didn't move.

"This was one of Tae's first clues as to what was going on," Byakuya said. "Usually, when a hollow is killed by a shinigami, its body disintegrates into spirit particles while its soul is purified. When it is eaten by another hollow, both its body and its soul are consumed. But in this case neither of those things happened. It's as though its soul was taken away, while its body was left to slowly decay."

"So you're saying the soul was eaten it its sleep?" Renji asked. It seemed like a stretch, but then again, he hadn't seen the research. As flaky as Tae seemed, she had written an extensive write-up, and had no doubt done extensive research on what could have been causing this strange phenomenon.

Byakuya nodded. "It's the only thing Tae could find that would explain this."

"So now we know that even hollows dream. What about the humans, did they die this way?

"Human anatomy is different," Byakuya said. "Once a human's soul is removed, he is clinically dead. His body will decay at a normal rate. The clues in terms of the humans, as Ukitake told us before, were that they all died in their sleep and no cause of death could be pinpointed in any of them. It matched the reports we had concerning Baku-type hollows."

"So. . . what now?" Renji poked the hollow with his foot. Nothing. "What exactly are we trying to figure out?"

"What classification of hollow did this. If it's consuming other hollows, it may well be at least a gillian. But Commander Yamamoto seems to think that it may be an arrancar, either pseudo or true."

"Why?" Renji asked.

"It was something Tae found," Byakuya said. "Before the deaths even started. She was patrolling the area when a flash of white off the forest floor got her attention. When she went to see what it was, she found a hollow mask, with just a small part of it missing. It looked like it had been ripped off."

Renji nodded. So they might be dealing with an Arrancar. One that may very well be under orders of Aizen, if Aizen did indeed have control of Hueco Mundo.

"So what's the plan?" Renji asked. When it came to battling he was extremely perceptive, but Renji had to admit that he wasn't too good at piecing things together otherwise.

"Whatever it is, it's too strong to live on just human souls alone. If it's still roaming the area, eventually it will sense our presence and target us. We'll be the bait to draw it out in the open. If it enters one of our dreams, the other will hunt it down and kill it."

It didn't sound like the safest plan, but Renji was never about safety anyway. "Sounds good."

"One of the reports contained an important fact about Baku-type hollows, one that will serve us greatly: unless we allow them to trap us in the dream world, they can't consume our souls."

Renji blinked. "Why would someone willingly get trapped in a dream?"

"There are many people," Byakuya said, turning away, "who would rather live in a dream than face reality."

After that they went back to the cabin. Renji was already feeling the drain from staying so long in the human world, and he slipped into his gigai as Byakuya did the same. Renji had never been in a gigai before; he had never needed one. Everything was _more_. He wasn't quite sure how to explain it. . . the smell of the leaves was fresher. The sounds of the forest were crisper. The hair trailing down his neck and back was softer. It was as though his senses were magnified.

Renji opened his eyes, blinking multiple times in quick succession as he got used to the vibrancy of the colors. This was amazing. He sat up, trying out his new body. . . handling it wasn't any different from controlling his spirit body. He found a ponytail holder in his pocket, thanked Akon in his mind, and tied his hair into a low, loose ponytail for the moment.

He got up and looked at Byakuya, the breath catching in his throat for just a second. Human clothes suited Byakuya terribly well, not that shinigami clothes didn't. But the cut of Byakuya's blazer did everything to draw attention to his slim yet well-developed build, and the blue streaks in the t-shirt did everything to bring out the light in his gray eyes. And Renji had been right before to notice that Byakuya's hair, worn down, leant him a softer edge. It made him look less intimidating, somehow.

"You look great in those clothes, Taichou," Renji said. He wondered if saying something like that was out of bounds, but he was only saying the truth. He didn't think there was any harm in that. At any rate, Byakuya turned away from him too quickly for Renji to see his reaction to the statement, to see if he was offended or not.

"Flattery is nothing but empty words, Renji."

Renji didn't say anything back, glad that he had gotten off with just a reprimand. As he got closer and closer to Byakuya, sometimes he forgot what the boundaries between them were, and ended up saying something that went past them. He had to remember that even though their relationship was improved, they weren't friends.

At any rate, night was falling in the human world, and it was about time for them to go to sleep.

"Should we sleep in shifts?" Renji asked.

"There's no need," Byakuya replied. "We'd have no way of knowing if the hollow is inside the other's dreamworld. We just have to keep our guard up, even in our dreams. The next morning we'll alert the other, and then we can make preparations for the next night."

"And you think he'll come back if he fails once?" Renji asked.

"I'm sure of it," Byakuya said. "I've already searched out the reiatsu in this town, and there's nothing here like what we would provide."

"Lucky us," Renji said, chuckling a little bit. He watched as Byakuya made his way to his room, and decided he should go to sleep as well. He went to his room, noting that there was a small dresser tucked against the wall. It hadn't been there before, and he wondered if the research institute had sent it. Inside were clothes similar to the ones Renji had picked up. There were also thin white tank tops that Renji guessed were for night use, and a whole drawer full of those awful boxer-briefs. Renji didn't know how humans dealt with such constricting undergarments.

Renji peeled off all his clothes except for the boxer-briefs and pulled on a tank top. He fell onto his bed, grabbing the report that he had left on the nightstand earlier. Tae's phonebook of a write-up. There was no way he was going to read through that monstrosity, but he didn't particularly mind skimming through it.

It ended up being dry, dry stuff. She had even divided it into chapters, the little overachiever. The first chronicled her experiences related to the phenomenon, and it read like an extremely boring detective novel with no climax or end. The second chronicled her research, and the third drew inferences from both. Renji wondered if she should have been assigned to the twelfth division instead of the ninth.

At any rate, it was great reading material for an insomniac, because Renji fell asleep right in the middle of reading it. The book fell onto his chest as his eyelids fluttered closed, the light on his nightstand forgotten as he drifted off into deep sleep.


	4. A Trip to Town

Byakuya woke up when the first rays of dawn drifted inside his window. It was always strange to wake up inside a gigai; he hadn't done in it a long time, and had forgotten what it was like. It was that sense of waking slowly, of bright light on the back of his eye lids and warmth spreading through his body. It always felt like his body had to catch up to his mind, and it always unsettled him just a little bit.

Once his body was fully awake Byakuya got out of bed, the soft cotton of his yukata brushing lightly against his skin. He wrapped it more tightly around himself and walked out of the room. Last night had been uneventful. . . even now Byakuya couldn't remember anything he had dreamed, and so he assumed his dreams had passed with nothing to note. He made his way to Renji's room, intent on checking up on his vice captain through the open door.

Renji was laying on his stomach, still asleep, drooling a bit through the corner of his mouth. His arm was hanging off the bed, Tae's report in a messy pile underneath it. The lamp on his nightstand was still on. Byakuya quickly surmised that Renji had fallen asleep reading the report, but that fact did not occupy most of Byakuya's mind. No, the overriding thought in Byakuya's mind right now had to do with Renji's clothing. Or lack thereof.

For one, that arm that was hanging off the bed was completely bare, showing off defined biceps and strong, broad shoulders. Renji's tank top clung to every curve of his well-defined back. His boxer briefs, as Byakuya had noted yesterday in the lab, left little to the imagination, clinging lovingly to a firm, round rear. A rear that would, no doubt, look even lovelier in motion, thrusting into. . .

Byakuya quickly turned away, wondering why Renji wasn't given a yukata to wear to sleep. He felt dirty and lustful, and he resolved to have a meditation under a cold shower later on that day. For now, though, he made his way to the kitchen, knowing that there would be a tea set waiting for him in one of the cabinets. There always was, on his extended missions. The people who accommodated his needs made sure of that. It didn't take him long to find it, and he set about preparing a pot of tea.

Ever since Byakuya had realized that he had feelings for Renji, he had discovered just how handsome the other man was. It was strange that he hadn't noticed before, that he had been attracted to Renji before noticing something like actual physical attractiveness. But Renji was all rugged good looks, from the angles of his face to the tanned, calloused skin that stretched over smooth muscle.

Byakuya hated looking at Renji that way. He felt as though he were objectifying the man, insulting him in some way. And Renji had no idea that he was the object of such impure thoughts.

At any rate, this mission was proving to be a rather depressing one for Byakuya. Especially when Renji said something like "you look great in those clothes, Taichou," in such an easy, nonchalant tone. Renji could make those remarks because there was no emotion behind them. To Renji, it was the same as stating that it was a beautiful day out. Byakuya knew that, and still the words sent his heart racing a few beats ahead. He had had to turn away to hide his expression, just in case it betrayed any of his inner emotions.

"Taichou, what are you doing? Whatever it is, I'll do it for you."

Byakuya looked up at Renji. Then looked immediately back down. Renji hadn't yet dressed, and had the tips of his fingers inside the waistband of his boxer-briefs, scratching lightly there. His tank top had lifted up with the motion, and Byakuya had seen both a trace of deep red pubic hair and the curve of Renji's manhood through the cotton of his underwear. Renji walked up to him, and Byakuya was appalled when he stood directly next to him, their elbows almost touching.

"Taichou, you don't have to do that, I'll make your tea for you."

"Do you know how to make it properly?" Byakuya asked, a little bit more scornfully than he had intended. "I've studied the art of tea for decades; how long have you studied it for?"

"Oh. Yeah."

Renji looked somewhat hurt by the question, which made Byakuya almost instantly feel bad about asking it. The redhead sat down at the table, his eyes looking off into the distance as he frowned.

Not knowing what to say, Byakuya immersed himself in the tea preparation. The methodical nature of the preparation calmed him, allowed him to enter his normal state of mind. Renji was just a man like any other, Byakuya told himself. Byakuya didn't need to be so on edge around him. Sufficiently calmed down, it didn't take long for Byakuya to finish making the tea. Byakuya served Renji a cup first.

"I hope it is to your liking," his said, in lieu of an apology. And, in fact, Renji's mood did seem to improve with the comment.

"Thanks, Taichou."

"Did anything strange happen last night?" Byakuya sat down and lifted his cup to his nose, letting the aroma waft to him as he waited for Renji's answer.

"Not a thing," Renji said, having already gulped down his tea. "So what do we do now? Just sit around and wait for when it's time to go to sleep?"

"No," Byakuya said, "we should go down to the village and see if there have been any other incidents since the last one mentioned in Tae's report."

"You think they'll talk to us?"

"The mortuary will," Byakuya said. "After all, we're highly skilled pathology students from the University of Tokyo. Apparently our doctorate dissertation is on death while sleeping, and diseases that may cause it."

"Huh. The research institute come up with that?"

"Tae," Byakuya replied. "She seems to be highly skilled in investigative techniques."

Byakuya had gotten a headache listening to her, but he had to admit that the girl was intelligent and thorough with her work. As soon as he was done drinking his tea he stood up and turned to go back to his room.

"Get changed," he said. "We'll leave as soon as possible."

Byakuya headed back to his room, shutting the door behind him. There were already outfits chosen for him, hanging neatly up in a small closet, and he took one down and changed into it. After he was done he ripped a small strip of fabric from a handkerchief and tied his hair up in a high ponytail.

He looked into a mirror to make sure he was presentable. It had been a long time since he had worn his hair like this. . . not since his youth, not since he had taken up the kenseikan instead. It looked different on him now. His jaw was more square than round now, and no baby fat clung to his cheek bones. It was strange how he had changed so much in under a scant hundred years.

Deciding that he was ready, Byakuya left his room. He found Renji already outside, dressed in the same clothes he had been wearing yesterday. Byakuya led the way down the trail, Renji's footsteps falling in step just a few paces behind him. Byakuya had to admit that it was pleasant walking through the real world in a gigai. The forest thrummed with life all around them, and Byakuya was always one to enjoy nature.

It was less than twenty minutes before the path opened up into a street, the forest opened up into a small town. It was mostly one-story buildings, wooden walls built upon stone foundations. The architecture was decidedly un-modern, and Byakuya wouldn't have been surprised if some of these structures had been standing for centuries. He walked down the part stone, part dirt street, the path to the mortuary already committed to his memory. It hadn't taken him long to pull out the important pieces of information from Tae's report.

It was no time at all before they reached the hospital. Byakuya reached out to open the door, surprised when it didn't move. He knocked. No answer. A woman passed by, walking her dog, and she called out to them.

"The mortuary doesn't open for another two hours."

Renji waved to her and shouted a thanks as Byakuya blinked at the door. Apparently, Tae had neglected to include information on human work hours. Now that Byakuya thought about it, the streets were mostly empty. How lazy had humans gotten over the decades since his last extended visit?

"What should we do?" Renji asked. "Should we go back to the cabin or just wait around here?"

"I would like to explore the town," Byakuya said. "Although you are free to do as you wish."

Byakuya wasn't quite sure if he wanted Renji to stay with him or not. Renji's quiet presence on the walk down the mountain had been all too comfortable, and the last thing Byakuya wanted was to grow even more enamored of his vice captain.

"Are you just going to walk around?" Renji asked. "Cause I think I'm gonna go look for an open market or something. Ichigo told me humans sold taiyaki stuffed with chocolate these days, and I wanna see if I can find some."

Byakuya nodded. "Come find me when you are done."

As Renji wondered off, deeper into the streets, and Byakuya walked towards the sound of running water. He walked past picturesque buildings and streets lined with blossoming pink trees, until he came to the low, red rail that separated the street from the river below.

Byakuya strolled to a stone bridge crossing over the river, where he stood against the side of it , content to take in the scenery. On one side the slumbering town, on the other a meandering path into the forest. And in the middle of it a river, a deep jade color that came from the blue of a reflected sky and the green of algae blooms. It ebbed downward, away, in a steady rhythm that was a music all its own. It was the perfect spot for composing haiku, Byakuya thought. If only he had the proper pens and paper.

"Taichou!"

Byakuya looked up to see Renji walking towards him, a bag in his hand. It had only been about half an hour since they had left each other; Byakuya was surprised Renji had managed to find what he was looking for.

"When we're near humans," Byakuya said, when Renji drew near, "address me by my name. It would seem odd for doctorate students to call each other 'Taichou'."

"Oh." Renji's eyes widened slightly, a light blush appearing on his face. "Bya. . . Bya-"

"My family name," Byakuya corrected, eyes narrowing even as his stomach fluttered a little bit. What would his given name sound like, he wondered, spilling from Renji's lips?

"Oh. Right." Renji sighed, blush disappearing. "Kuchiki-san, then, I guess."

Byakuya nodded, glad that Renji understood. Lately Renji had been forgetting his place. Byakuya understood that Renji was eager for them to stand on equal footing, but they weren't equal yet. It was important for Byakuya to clearly define their relationship as captain and subordinate; if those lines blurred, it would become all too easy for Byakuya to entertain his own more frivolous notions. Notions that involved a relationship of an entirely different sort.

"When I first got to Seireitei, one thing I had to get used to was all the water."

Byakuya looked up at the words. Renji was staring out at the river, a small smile on his lips, a soft light to his eyes. Byakuya had never seen him look so contemplative. So still. His handsome features in profile, reaching back in time to share a memory with Byakuya.

"There wasn't any in Inuzuri. We'd have to steal pots of it whenever we could. But in Seireitei, it gushes from taps whenever you want it to." Renji's eyes took on an even more reflective gleam. When he spoke it was though he was reciting. " _Water. How many days were they wont to march in the desert to reach the nearest well; and when they arrived, how long they had to dig before there bubbled a muddy liquid. A thing worth its weight in gold. A thing the least drop of which drew from the sand the green sparkle of a blade of grass. And this water, this miserly water of which not a drop had fallen at Port Etienne in ten years, roared in Savoie with the power of a cataclysm as if, from some burst cistern, the reserves of the world were pouring forth. The flow of a single second would have resuscitated whole caravans that, mad with thirst, had pressed on into the eternity of salt lakes and mirages. Here God was manifesting Himself: it would not do to turn one's back on Him_."*

There was silence as Byakuya took in the words. Quite unlike anything that Renji had ever spoken; there was a poetry to the words that Byakuya was sure did not come from Renji himself. Byakuya was surprised Renji had even been able to commit the words to memory, but then he felt bad for underestimating his vice captain once again. "Where is that from?"

"A book Kira picked up in the human world. It's the description of a waterfall. When he read it to me it just stuck with me, I dunno, reminded me of the first time I saw a faucet turn on." Renji chuckled a little as he turned to face Byakuya, his expression back to normal. He rubbed at the back of his head sheepishly. "It's pretty silly, huh?"

"No," Byakuya said, watching as surprise flashed over Renji's features. "It's a beautiful description."

"Huh." Renji quickly turned away again, but the smile on his lips was still there. "Didn't think you'd get it."

"I do understand things like need and want," Byakuya offered, trying to imagine what it was like to be without something as necessary as water. "Although it may not seem like it."

Renji was looking back at him now, and something in his expression made Byakuya feel. . . well, a little bit nervous.

"Yeah," Renji said. "I guess we all do."

Now it was Byakuya turning away to look over the river. Prolonged eye contact with Renji was dangerous, somehow, and it would be best for him to avoid it. Standing together beside on the bridge like this, it was all too easy to imagine romantic connotations to the scene that weren't actually there.

"But you like the water a lot, huh Taichou?" Renji asked. "Even at headquarters, you're always reading by the pond in the west garden."

Byakuya nodded, not surprised that Renji noticed. It had become clear to him how closely Renji was always observing him. He liked it, of course, liked the feel of Renji's penetrating gaze on his back, though he would never actually admit that to himself. "My father taught me calligraphy by the large koi pond in our family estate. We would spend hours there, perfecting our brush strokes as we watched the koi swim to and fro underneath the surface of the water."

Renji seemed to perk up beside him. He leaned towards Byakuya a little bit. "I've never heard you mention your family before. Does you dad live on your estate with you?"

"My father has already passed," Byakuya replied.

"Oh."

Out of the corner of his eye, Byakuya watched as Renji shifted back and forth, using movement to distract from the awkwardness he must have been feeling.

"Sorry for bringing that up," Renji finally said.

"It's fine," Byakuya replied. In truth, he didn't mind talking about his father. Talking about him made Byakuya feel like he was keeping his memory alive. "He died an honorable death, on the battlefield."

"What was your dad like?" Renji asked, curiosity heavy in his voice. "Was he a lot like you?"

Byakuya felt a corner of his mouth lift, just a little bit, at the question. "He was the complete opposite. He never broke a single rule, and yet he always managed to follow his heart. He was an amazing man."

"So he was a lot like you. At least in the 'amazing' part."

Byakuya wondered how Renji could always say such honest, embarrassing things. They fell from his lips so easily, like they meant nothing. Well. . . in truth, Byakuya thought, they probably did mean nothing to the man. It was Byakuya who was placing an importance on them that wasn't there. Byakuya looked up to see Renji smiling softly at him. He couldn't help but stare back. Renji's eyes were always so expressive, and Byakuya wondered why he had never noticed that before that day in the hospital.

"You've gotta stop beating yourself up about what happened with Rukia," Renji continued. "She's already forgiven you; hell, she never blamed you to begin with. You ended up protecting her in the end, and that's what counts."

". . . Thank you, Renji." Byakuya shouldn't have been surprised that Renji knew that had been weighing on his mind, but he was a little bit. He knew that Renji was always watching him, aiming for him, but he hadn't known that Renji had understood him so well.

"I'm sure your old man would be proud."

Byakuya nodded, although he wasn't so sure of that fact himself. Though sometimes he wondered what exactly his father would be disappointed in: Byakuya's failure to follow Kuchiki rules on at least two occasions, or Byakuya's failure to stand by someone he considered family.

"Was your dad a captain too?" Renji asked. "I know the sixth division has ties with the Kuchiki estate, but I have to admit I haven't studied up on the history."

"No," Byakuya replied. "He was a vice captain when he died. He was a strong man, but his body was weak. He really shouldn't have been in battle at all, but his noblesse oblige as the head of the family drove him to join the Gotei 13 and eventually become a vice captain. The reason I trained so hard when I was young was so I could take over his position as soon as possible. I wanted him to be able to spend his days peacefully at the estate, as he should have, and let me worry about the obligations of our family."

Byakuya wasn't sure why he was sharing this information with Renji, except that something inside of him wanted him to. For some reason, he wanted Renji to know this about him.

"Just like I thought," Renji said, eyes softening just a little. "You really are an amazing man, Taichou."

The weight of their shared gaze was becoming too much for Byakuya, and he turned back to face the water.

"Do you remember anything of your family before you came to Rukongai?" Byakuya asked, changing the subject to Renji. When Renji didn't respond Byakuya looked over, to see that a dazed and surprised expression had fallen over Renji's face. "Is something wrong, Renji?"

The question seemed to snap Renji out of it, and the redhead shook his head a little before smiling again. "No, sorry, that was just unexpected. I didn't think that you'd be interested in my personal history."

Byakuya turned before Renji could catch the slight blush on his cheeks. Byakuya hadn't thought before he had asked the question, but it was too late to take it back now. The truth was he was all too interested in learning about Renji's personal history, in learning about the circumstances that had shaped Renji into the man he was.

"At any rate," Renji said, "I don't remember much. I used to dream about them, when I was a kid new to Rukongai. Dream about my parents, holding me and playing with me. They seemed like pretty decent folk, you know? I was always looking for them, everywhere I went in Rukongai, keeping an eye open. But eventually, bit by bit, I started to forget what they looked like. And, bit by bit, I just. . . stopped looking. By the time me and Rukia decided to enter the academy, it was like the life I had before Rukongai hadn't even been my life. Just a glimmer of someone else's memory."

Renji laughed then, the boisterous noise easing the tension in the air.

"Sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to tell such a depressing story."

"No," Byakuya said, "I'm glad that you told me."

Byakuya looked up to see that same shocked expression from before on Renji's face. In truth, Byakuya was beginning to enjoy surprising the other man. There was something endearingly idiotic about Renji's expressions. But as Byakuya pondered the inappropriateness of feeling that way, Renji snapped out of it and reached into his bag.

"Oh, yeah, I forgot. I got us breakfast. I know we don't have to eat, but it's not often we stay long in the human world, so we might as well take advantage, right?" Renji pulled out a beige rectangle seemingly made up of multiple small grains. "I found it at the only store that was open. Said they were a coffee shop, whatever that is."

"Coffee is a popular drink in the human world," Byakuya said. Chojiro was fond of the strong brew, although both Yamamoto and Byakuya found it lacking in complexity when compared to tea. "The Japanese have been drinking it for at least a century now."

"So it's pretty new, huh?" Renji pushed the rectangle he was holding closer to Byakuya's lips. "Called this a rice treat or something like that. Seemed like something you would like, so I got it for you."

"Thank you, Renji, but that was not necessary of you." The treat was almost pressing against his lips now, and Byakuya did his best to glower at Renji. "What, exactly, do you think you are doing?"

"You can't hold it yourself," Renji said. "Your gloves would get dirty."

Byakuya's hands clenched and unclenched, the movement reminding him to the fingerless gloves he was wearing. Not quite tekkou, but close enough that his hands didn't feel naked. He couldn't refute the logic behind Renji's words. Besides, Renji looked serious, which meant this wasn't some joke or attempt to push boundaries with Byakuya. Still, the thought of Renji feeding him. . . at first Byakuya thought that he should refuse, but then he wondered if he was perhaps overcompensating for certain feelings he held. Perhaps it wasn't that big a deal?

Slowly and hesitantly, Byakuya opened his mouth. There was no harm, he told himself. Renji pushed the rice treat into his mouth, and Byakuya took a bite out of it. It was awful. Overly sweet and strangely gooey.

Renji grinned as he pulled the treat away. "Wow, Taichou, I didn't think you'd actually let me feed you. You looked really cute like that."

Cute. Byakuya froze, anger and embarrassment welling up inside of him. So Renji had been playing some sort of game with him after all. He felt like a fool.

"Abarai-fukutaichou," Byakuya spit out. "I do not know when you decided that you could treat me so informally, but it stops now. I am not your friend. I am not your peer. I am your captain and your superior. If you do not wish to be demoted from your position as my vice captain, you will go back to the cabin and meditate on your actions right now."

Renji's eyes were huge saucers in his face. The rice krispy treat had dropped from his fingers, and lay forgotten on the ground. "Tai-"

"Leave."

The force behind that one word was enough to make Renji back up a step. Soon enough the younger man was turning and leaving the bridge, shoulders and back tense as he walked away from Byakuya.

Once he was gone Byakuya looked down and realized that his fingers were gripping the bridge railing so tightly that they had turned white. He let go, forcing himself to breath deeply. It had been a long time since he had lost his temper like that. He was ashamed of himself. He was supposed to be calmer than this, better than this. And he had lost control over what? Over Renji playing a little joke on him.

He had felt a fool, being the object of Renji's amusement. But that wasn't reason enough to lose his calm. This was why, he thought, he was supposed to ignore his emotions for the other man. Emotions made a person irrational, emotional, and Kuchiki Byakuya was neither of those things. He took another deep breath, feeling a little bit calmer upon the exhale. He would have to distance himself as much as possible from Renji. Their interactions from now on, he decided, would be limited to the professional. It was better that way.

Mind made up, Byakuya headed to the mortuary. When he got back he would have to avoid Renji as much as he humanly could, but for now he had a job to do.

He was on his way to the mortuary when a stir in the streets garnered his attention. Two people ran past him; a man who was still wearing his pajama pants, and a women who was leading him into a side street. They were arguing. . . or, rather, the man was trying to calm the woman down as he chased after her.

"What if this is like those other cases?" the woman said, voice frantic and almost yelling. "What if she doesn't wake up?"

"I'm sure it's not like that," the man said, and Byakuya decided he was most likely a doctor. "I'm sure that she'll be fine.

The mention of "other cases" and "waking up" had Byakuya on notice, and he followed them down the side street. They disappeared into a small house, not even bothering to close the door behind them. Byakuya approached and stared through the open doorway. On the tatami floor of the living space was a teenage girl, asleep on her futon. Her family was gathered around her as the doctor pressed a stethoscope to her chest.

"We can't wake her up," another man said. The father, most likely. His eyes quivered as he wrung what looked like a small towel in his hands. "We've tried everything. Loud noises, water, smelling salts. She's always been a light sleeper before. This isn't right, there's something wrong here."

"Calm down," said the doctor. "Her vitals are fine for now. I'm sure that there's a logical explanation for this, if you just give me the time to check."

But the doctor, lacking spiritual awareness, couldn't see what Byakuya could see. Protruding from her neck was a long, thick vein the color of muscle and sinew. It had pushed itself just underneath her skin, had wrapped itself up her neck, up her jaw, up the side of her face. To disappear into her temple.

Byakuya took out the dispenser for his mod soul and popped a candy into his mouth. In an instant he was jolted away from his body with all the force of a speeding car coming to a sudden stop. He look down to see himself blinking up at him.

"Wait here," he ordered, before disappearing into the house.

He drew his zanpakuto as he got closer, just in case. As he stood in front of the girl he realized that the vein was throbbing, pulsing with a life of its own. The part protruding from the hole in her skin was coiled slightly on the floor, before it led out an open window in the back. Byakuya followed it.

The house faced the forest in the back, and the tentacle led there. Byakuya followed it into the forest, making his way deep into thick trees and shrubbery. After awhile he saw it. A large, hulking figure with broad shoulders and a huge chest. It stood in the forest, completely still except for its breathing. Sleeping. It was humanoid except for a tapir-like head and an ox tail, and the thick, coarse coat of hair the covered its shoulders and upper part of its chest. A fragment of a hollow mask covered most its grotesque half-human, half-tapir face, the jagged edge of it crossing over its nose.

The vein from before was protruding from what Byakuya assumed was its zanpakuto. There was no blade, though. Above the hilt was a mass of veins, writhing together in the form of a staff. Byakuya brought his own zanpakuto down to slash right through the vein. The arrancar, or pseudo-arrancar as it was, gave a cry as it was sliced through, eyes opening to reveal yellow pupils. Those yellow eyes zeroed in on Byakuya aright away, and the beast lunged at him. Byakuya was quick to step away, sending the best into a tree. Dust and wood flew up in a cloud as the monster collided into the earth, before its bulking muscles quickly back to Byakuya.

"That was a perfectly good meal you wasted," it snarled, sounding every bit the half beast it looked like.

"If I were you," Byakuya said, lifting his zanpakuto, "I would be concerned with more pressing matters."

The arrancar charged at him again, and as Byakuya dodged he took the opportunity to slice off the beast's arm. Blood sprayed through the air as the beast cried out.

"If you want to die quickly and painlessly," Byakuya said, "tell me everything you know about Aizen."

The arrancar chuckled as he held a hand to the bloody stump at his shoulder. "As if that asshole would even bother with a small fry like me. What I know about him doesn't even scratch the surface, and I'll be damned if I go snitching even that much to a little bitch like you."

"So you do know something." Byakuya readied his sword. He would have to take another limb; preferably a leg, this time. And once the arrancar was incapacitated, he would take his time cutting up that vile flesh. But before Byakuya could do anything, the arrancar surprised him. The veins shot out of the hilt of his sword, coming towards Byakuya in a writhing mass. It was a minor diversion. A flick of his wrist and they all lay on the floor. . . but once they hit the forest ground the arrancar was gone.

Byakuya looked around. Small fry, indeed, but the thing was fast. There was no trace of reiatsu, but it wouldn't be a difficult thing for a creature like an arrancar to control that. At any rate, the thing was gone.

Byakuya turned and made his way back to his gigai. He would have to wait for the next opportunity, but he had a feeling it wouldn't be long.

* Antoine St. Exupery, _Wind, Sand and Stars_


	5. Renji Does Laundry

Renji stared out his bedroom window, eyes listless. He was just so pissed at himself. The morning had been so amazing. Byakuya had been more open than Renji had ever seen him, sharing stories and listening to Renji's own stupid comments. Renji felt like they were getting to know each other, and then he had gone and spoiled it all by going one step too far. And for what? The chance to tease Byakuya a little bit? God, he was such an idiot.

He still remembered how Byakuya had looked at that moment, too. His usually sharp features had looked almost. . . soft. Maybe it had been because of the dim morning light, just breaking through then dawn, but Renji had never seen him like that. And those slate gray eyes had looked almost warm. Renji rolled over on is side. He didn't think he would be seeing that side of Byakuya again anytime soon.

The sound of the front door opening filled the house. Renji shot up and ran to the door of his room, looking out into the main room. Byakuya was entering the house, and Renji stood up tall as he waited for his captain to say anything. He could feel his heart racing a little bit, could feel his palms sweating. That hard, cold look was back on Byakuya's face, and that didn't bode well for Renji.

"Renji."

Renji jumped at the sound of his name. "Yes, Taichou."

"I have made contact with the hollow; it is, indeed, a pseudo-arrancar. I have found out new details about it and have devised a plan in dealing with it." Byakuya was barely even glancing at Renji as he spoke, his eyes focused instead at some point behind Renji's head.

Renji nodded and waited for Byakuya to continue.

"I have found that the arrancar enters dreams by joining threads of his zanpakuto with the victim's mind. When he does so he has to be asleep himself, and the process takes a bit of time. I assume that is because he must trap the victim before consuming his soul. From now on we will take turns sleeping, and will conduct patrols sporadically day and night. If one of us falls under the control of the arrancar, the other will not wake him."

"What? But why?" Renji didn't see the logic in that. Wasn't it important not to become the arrancar's last meal?

Byakuya held up a hand, halting any further complaint. "The dreamer may be able to get information from the arrancar while in the dream world. The one awake will cut off the thread only if there is a dangerous drop in reiatsu; in that case, the one awake should go find the arrancar as soon as possible, in order to capture him."

Renji nodded,  finding no major fault with Byakuya's plan, as risky as it seemed. But then Byakuya turned to head back outside. Renji quickly stepped forward, not wanting Byakuya to leave when there was so much tension between them.

"Wait, Taichou, I just wanted to say sorry about this morning. I'm reflected on my actions, and I realize that they weren't appropriate."

"Your apology is accepted," Byakuya said, not even looking back to answer. "It was my fault for not maintaining a more professional distance between us."

"Taichou, I-"

"I'm going to patrol the area," Byakuya said, cutting Renji off. "I'll make sure to keep track of your reiatsu level, so if you want to get some sleep feel free to do so."

And with that Byakuya walked out and slammed the door shut behind him. Renji stood there, eyes fixed on the closed door. Byakuya had barely looked at him throughout their entire exchange. It had almost been like. . .like the way their relationship was before everything had happened with Aizen. Renji felt his stomach drop at the thought. Was that what Byakuya meant when he said "professional distance"? Renji's hands clenched into fists as he ground his teeth together. He didn't want to go back to the days when his existence was meaningless to Byakuya, not when Byakuya had already acknowledged him, not when Byakuya was starting to see him as a confidant.

Renji turned and slammed his fist into the wall. It punched through drywall, leaving a hole there, though all his frustration and anger seemed to remain tightly wound in his body. He shook his head in disgust as he made his way to his room. Why did he always have to fuck everything up?

Renji pulled out his soul separation glove and hit it against his forehead. As his soul jerked out of his body his gigai crumpled to the ground; there was no one here, he didn't have to bother with a mod soul. He laid his lifeless body on the bed and left the house, heading away from Byakuya's reiatsu and into the forest. He needed some exercise. He needed something physical to do with himself.

Renji trained all day. He didn't go to spar with Zabimaru, didn't want to hear his zanpakuto spirit's taunts right now. He just wanted to lose himself in physical movement as he practiced combat moves in the forest. By the end of it he was breathing heavy and drenched in sweat, and there was a circular area around him newly bereft of trees. Spent and feeling just a little bit better, he made his way back to the cabin.

Byakuya still wasn't back, and the sky was orange with the receding sun. Renji re-entered his body, cringing at the way injuries and sweat seemed to transfer so sharply to the physical body. He stripped his clothes and took a shower outside, enjoying the feel of cold water hit his overheated muscles. When he was done he went inside to find Byakuya sitting at the table, his soul phone in hand. Apparently he had just been talking to Soul Society.

"We'll take four hour shifts sleeping," he said, sparing Renji the briefest of glances. "You should go first."

Renji nodded. He wasn't going to protest, not when Byakuya was upset with him. He went to his bedroom to try to get a few hours of sleep.

The next few days were enough to drive Renji insane. Things didn't change, things didn't get better. Byakuya barely ever acknowledged him unless he had to, sending Renji spiraling back to the time he had first become Byakuya's vice captain. Back when Byakuya made him feel, every time he saw him, like he wasn't good enough. Renji hated it. He hated being in this cabin alone with Byakuya, the silence between them hanging heavy in the air like it was something tangible.

A few days later and Renji found himself in early morning, looking in on a sleeping Byakuya. It was the closest he could get to his captain, really. When they weren't taking turns sleeping Byakuya was always away, either training or meditating or patrolling the area.

Renji sighed. Byakuya looked so peaceful in his sleep, a softness to his features that Renji hadn't seen since that day on the bridge. Then he noticed that there was a stack of neatly folded clothes in the corner of Byakuya's room. Leave it to Byakuya to be neat with even his dirty clothes. Renji frowned as he walked in and picked them up. . . he might as well make himself useful, and it didn't seem like Byakuya was going to do his own laundry. Renji wondered if he even knew how.

He took the dirty clothes outside. There was a wooden tub next to the water pump, and he filled it with water and just a little soap before dropping Byakuya's clothes inside. Then he rolled up his sleeves and kneeled down, ready to scrub them clean. Byakuya's life really was different from his, Renji thought. Byakuya really had no concept of the more mundane tasks of life, could fully expect someone else to take care of those things for him. And here Renji was, doing exactly that. Byakuya probably wouldn't even notice once his clothes were dry and hanging up neatly in the closet, would probably only take it as something that was to be expected. After all, his servants always took care of these things. Renji sighed, wondering what compelled him to take on this task, when Byakuya wasn't even properly talking to him. When Byakuya wouldn't even notice.

Once he was done scrubbing Renji hung the clothes up on the line he had put up a few days ago. Byakuya had just fallen asleep, so Renji had almost four hours to kill before they would both be awake. He started his daily morning walk into the city. Renji had found that he could keep track of Byakuya's reiatsu from the town, and had taken to spending more time there. The coffee shop during the morning, the bar during the night. There was only so many hours of the day he could spend training or watching Byakuya, and this way he could also keep track of any strange happenings in the town.

Renji took his seat at his usual spot, a small table in the darkest corner of the room. He waited there, finger tracing the grain of wood on the table, as he waited for the usual middle-aged waitress. He didn't look up as her light footsteps came closer to the table.

"The usual?" she asked, and he only nodded.

She left, leaving Renji to his thoughts. He stared out the window, noting how gray everything seemed to be this early in the morning. Soon enough a cup of coffee was set in front of him, black, no sugar, along with what the woman had told him the first day was a 'panini.' But the woman wasn't leaving, and he looked up to see the she had her arms crossed and a concerned expression on her face.

"You've been coming around here every day," she said, "and I see you in the bar every night. Moping around like some lovesick puppy. Well, I've got news for you, mister, there are plenty of fish in the sea, and you've just gotta get back up and find another one."

"I'm fine, really," Renji said, wondering if he really looked all that depressed.

"If your fine I'm a donkey's mother," the woman said, all gruff, no-nonsense care. "I've seen plenty of heartbreak in my time, and it's clear as day that's what you're going through."

"It's really not like that," Renji said. "It's just that this person I admire isn't talking to me, it's not like it's a romantic thing."

The woman raised her eyebrow. "Upset because someone's giving you the silent treatment? Sighing into your coffee cup multiple times every morning? Getting drunk by yourself? That's not just admiration, kid, that's love."

The woman bustled off, leaving Renji to stare after her with wide eyes. His coffee cup was frozen on its way to his mouth, and images of Byakuya filled his mind. Scowling Byakuya. Subtly smiling Byakuya. Sleeping Byakuya. Renji wasn't. . . but that was. . . it was normal to watch your Captain in his sleep, right? Fuck. He was in love with Kuchiki Byakuya. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. When the hell had that happened?

As soon as he thought it Renji was ashamed of himself, as though he wasn't worthy of entertaining such emotions for Byakuya. But now that he had realized it he couldn't deny it. There was a reason he always wanted to make Byakuya happy, why his heart raced whenever Byakuya paid attention to him. He had never put two and two together because Byakuya wasn't an option; the whole thought of the two of them together was ludicrous.

Renji lifted his coffee cup to his lips, letting the revelation sink in. But even if it was true, even if he was in love with Byakuya. . . it didn't change anything, did it? Byakuya could barely even stand him right now; there was no way the other man would ever feel the same way. The notion of reciprocated feelings was just one more unobtainable dream for Renji. Just one more way the monkey would never reach the moon.

Renji stared down into the black of his coffee. It tasted extra bitter on his tongue. Or maybe that had more to do with the fact that, now that he had realized what he had been feeling all this time, it really did feel like his heart was breaking.

Once it was time for Renji to head back to the cabin, he felt like someone had just given him a puppy and then had promptly pulled it away and tossed it into the river. He slunk, not walked, back to the cabin, eyes focused on the floor and shoulders slumped. By the time he got back there Byakuya was already awake, but his captain ignored him as he walked out of the house.

Renji made his way to his bedroom. On paper, in its simplest form, his situation was ideal. Alone in an isolated cabin with the object of his affection. But add in all the details of his relationship with Byakuya and all of a sudden it was a different picture entirely. Renji crossed his arms behind his head as he laid down, wondering what he would do with himself today. Byakuya would probably go off to train soon, without saying more than a sentence to Renji about it.

But then Renji heard the sound of running water and he glanced out the window in automatic response. Only to see Byakuya taking a shower. Renji's eyes widened as he sat up, keeping as close to the wall as he could so that Byakuya wouldn't notice him. He knew that he should look away, that he shouldn't watch, but he couldn't help himself. He had never seen Byakuya naked; his captain generally avoided the public sento and onsen that dotted Seireitei, no doubt in favor of the more luxurious ones that must exist on the Kuchiki estate.

Byakuya was facing away from Renji as he stepped into the shower, completely nude. So Renji had a perfect view of defined shoulders and arms, a well-muscled back, a firm, round ass, and thick, strong legs. Byakuya had an amazing body. It was easy to forget, thanks to the voluminous robes Byakuya tended to wear in Seireitei, but Byakuya was a captain after all. He was all lithe, strong muscle, compacted into a petite frame.

Renji gulped, watching the water run like rivulets down Byakuya's shoulder blades and backside. He could feel his cock grow hard, could feel it strain against the denim of his jeans. Without thinking about whether it was wrong or not to jerk off while spying on his captain, Renji reached down and unzipped his pants. After a bit of fumbling (inefficient human clothes, why the hell would you wear pants that were so hard to get out of?) he was pulling his half-hard cock out of the hole in his boxer-briefs and into the air. He started to tug on the head of it, and in no time at all it was completely hard, engorged with blood and flushed pink.

Renji's eyes were focused on Byakuya's ass, wondering what it would look like if Byakuya bent over. What it would look like if Byakuya were to spread those lovely, pert cheeks apart. What would his asshole look like? Pre-cum started to ooze out the slit of Renji's cock at the thought. Would it be tinged pink, or maybe brown? Lined with puckers of relatively smooth? What would Byakuya's ass look like, Renji wondered, with a cock sliding in and out of it. Shit. Renji could just imagine it, could imagine his big dick sliding in and out of Byakuya's ass. Byakuya wouldn't be silent, Renji decided. Byakuya would try, of course, but each thrust would elicit an uncharacteristic moan or cry from those usually reticent lips.

Renji was leaking like a faucet now, he couldn't believe the amount of pre-cum dripping from his cock. And then Byakuya turned around. Renji's eyes focused immediately on his groin, on the limp cock that hung short but thick from a nest of black pubic curls. On the small, round balls that hung low between his legs, colored a darker shade compared to the rest of Byakuya's skin. Renji wondered what Byakuya's cock would taste, like, what his balls would taste like. He wanted to suck one in his mouth and roll in on his tongue, he wanted to hear what noises Byakuya would make as he did it.

He wished that Byakuya was hard right now. Shifting, Renji pulled his pants and underwear to his calves in clumsy, inefficient movements. After they were out of the way Renji grabbed his cock with one hand again, jerking frantically. He wanted to come while Byakuya was still in the shower, wanted to come looking at the man's cock or ass. Renji bent his legs at the knees and reached his free hand down, past his cock, past his balls. He pressed the tip of his finger against his asshole, then pushed the whole thing inside.

Now Renji was imagining Byakuya inside of him, imagining his captain flushed pink as his smaller frame thrust in and out of Renji's ass. Renji moaned at the thought. He watched Byakuya shower as he jerked his cock and fingered himself, getting closer and closer to the precipice. And then he was falling over it. His eyes shut as his eyebrows knitted together. His head fell back as his hips thrust up, ass clenching down on his finger as jet after jet of cum shot out of his cock. Each one shot up in a low arch to land on his t-shirt, to spill over his hand. Renji hadn't come that hard in a long time, and when it was done he was left panting and dazed on the bed.

Renji pulled his finger out of his ass. He rolled onto his side and buried his head in the crook of his elbow. His physical release wasn't accompanied by an emotional or mental one. If anything, Renji thought, he felt even more dejected with his orgasm. How pathetic was he, spying on his captain and turning him into jerk-off material. No wonder Byakuya couldn't stand him. He was the lowest. Maybe he should just confess his feelings. . . Byakuya already despised him, so what was the harm?

After awhile Renji realized the door to his room was still open, and he pulled up his pants and changed his shirt before Byakuya came inside. Not that Byakuya would. Sure enough, as soon as the sound of water stopped, Byakuya's reiatsu started to fade away. He would go out to do patrols, train, or meditate, Renji didn't know. He didn't have the guts to ask and Byakuya generally didn't tell him. All Renji knew was that they would spend their days separately until evening, and then they would take turns sleeping until the next early afternoon.

Renji contemplated going to play football with the local kids, but he wasn't in the mood for physical activity today. He just wished that he had someone to talk to. A friendly voice, instead of Byakuya's continued silence. And then Renji remembered. . . his soul phone. Renji got up and made his way to the kitchen.

He had thrown all his shinigami stuff into a drawer shortly after they had gotten to this cabin. Well, the shinigami stuff that he didn't keep on his person at all times, at the very least. Soul phones generally weren't that handy. . . they only really patched you through to the research institute, in case you needed to request that your limit be lifted or help with a human world issue. Conversational phone calls back and forth between the shinigami and human realms were usually discouraged as an inefficient use of time, especially considering the resources needed to make them. Renji found the phone and pressed the proper number. Pretty soon a perky, somewhat androgynous voice came through the line.

"Hello, Abarai Renji-fukutaichou," the receiver said, "what can I do for you today?"

Thank God it was Rin who answered the phone. "Hey, Rin, do you think you can get Kira on the line? It's an emergency."

"Mmmmm. . . what kind of emergency? Is it, like, really important?"

"It's really, really important," Renji said.

"Ummm, I dunno, you know we're really not supposed to do that."

"But if I don't talk to him," Renji said, thinking fast, "my pet cat might die."

Rin gasped. "No! We can't let something happen to your poor little kitty! I'll go find him right away!"

Renji nodded, realizing that could take forever. It could be hard to track someone down in Seireitei, and Rin's generally ditzy personally wouldn't help matters along. Well. . . he had all day. Renji flopped down onto the couch as he waited. About an hour later his phone buzzed to life and a familiar voice came on the line.

"Abarai-kun?" Kira asked, voice frantic with worry. "What's wrong? Rin was crying about some kind of cat, but that can't be right."

"No, no, that was just an excuse I made up," Renji said. "I just wanted to talk."

There was silence on the phone for a bit. Then Kira's voice came through, all of the sudden cold and harsh. "Just. Wanted. To. Talk. You had me worried sick, wondering what could be so important that you called from the human world. I have a division to run, and unlike some redheaded idiots, I don't have a captain to help me run in. I'm behind in my paperwork and most of my division members don't even like me, and you just called to talk?"

Wow. Kira sounded angry. The stress of running the division must be getting to him. . . maybe Renji should have called Ikkaku instead or something.

"Sorry, Kira," Renji said, "it's just that I'm going crazy here. Byakuya's ignoring me and I just needed to hear a familiar voice. Cut me a little slack already."

"Fine. But what's wrong with you and Byakuya? I thought you two were getting along after. . . " and here Kira's voice turned dark. . . "after The Betrayal."

So that's what Kira was calling what happened with Aizen and Gin.

"Yeah, well, I did something stupid and he's back to not talking to me again."

Kira sighed. "What did you do this time?"

"Well," Renji said, cringing, "maybe I tried to hand feed him a cake or something like that."

"You are an idiot," Kira said, without missing a beat. "What on earth possessed you to do that? He's your captain, Renji, you don't hand feed your captain. Can you imagine Chojiro feeding Yamamoto? Or Ise feeding Kyoraku? Wait, that last one was a bad example because Kyoraku would no doubt love it, but you know what I mean!"

"I know! I don't know what I was thinking, it's just that, well, it was a moment, and I took a chance on it without thinking! Plus," Renji took a deep breath, "I didn't realize it at the time, but in retrospect, it might have something to do with the fact that I'm in love with him."

Silence again. Longer, this time. But when Kira's voice came back it sounded almost. . . bored.

"I'm sorry," Kira said. "Is this a new development? I thought you've always been in love with Kuchiki-taichou."

Now it was Renji's turn to be surprised. He blinked, wondering how long Kira had known this about him. "What the hell are you talking about? I didn't realize I liked him that way until this morning."

"Then what was all that about after you saw him for the first time? Remember? We were academy students, and you spent all night talking about how your heart was racing and you were sweating like crazy. It was love at first sight, wasn't it?"

"No!" Renji exclaimed, horrified that he had given Kira that impression. "I wasn't talking about love at first sight, I was talking about his immense spiritual pressure! His reiatsu was what made me react like that!"

"Oooooh," Kira said, understanding dawning. "Yeah, that's totally not what I got from your description."

"Yeah, well, sorry for not being all articulate-like. Look, Kira, I don't know what to do. Taichou's back to treating me like shit and I just want to push him down and have se. . . make love with him already."

"Okay," Kira said, "whatever you do, don't do that. And don't confess to him either."

"Why not?" Renji asked. "He's already barely acknowledging me, how much worse can it get?"

"Aren't you scared? Don't you think he'll probably reject you?"

"I'm fucking terrified," Renji answered, heart racing at just the thought of it. "Shit. I don't expect him to return my feelings, that's not why I'd be doing it. I just need to say it, get it out in the air, and then maybe I can move on. You know, after all the time that I spent without Rukia in my life, I realized. . . there's no point to leaving things unsaid. You've just gotta say all those important things before it's too late, before you waste away years not saying anything at all."

"If that's how you feel," Kira said, sounding resigned, "I'm not going to talk you out of it."

"Yeah," Renji muttered, "that's how I feel about things."

Getting up the courage to actually do it, however, was another matter entirely.

"Kira," Renji muttered, "I'm out of my depth here, aren't I?"

"Completely," Kira agreed. "Look, Rin's banging on my door saying that he needs to close the connection soon or someone's going to get angry. Are you going to be okay?"

"I don't know, man," Renji said, shaking his head. "I guess we'll see."

"Yeah, well, try to stay upbeat."

Renji couldn't help but scoff a little at that, considering Kira's whole demeanor since Gin had left.

"Yeah," he said, "I'll try."

And then the line was cut off. Renji sighed as he tossed his phone on the couch cushion next to him. It had been so good to hear someone else's voice, even if it had been for just a little bit. After awhile Renji remembered Byakuya's clothes, hanging from the clothesline and no doubt dry by now. Renji made his way outside and, piece by piece, took down the clothes. He was uncharacteristically careful as he pulled them down and over his arms, and just as careful as he made his way inside and hung them up in Byakuya's closet.

Soon Renji only had one article of clothing left to hang up, and he held it between his fingers. The blazer Byakuya had worn when they had first come here. The wool of it felt richer than any article of clothing Renji owned, and Renji thought it was just like Byakuya to dress well even in the human world. He remembered when he had seen Byakuya wearing it, how his breath had caught in his throat. At the time he thought he was just admiring a handsome man, but now he realized that it was something more than that. How long, Renji wondered, had he felt this way?

Renji held the blazer up against his face. It was soft against his cheek, and still smelled faintly of Byakuya's scent. A mix of musk and, of course, cherry blossoms. Renji inhaled deeply as he closed his eyes. Images of Byakuya came unbidden into his head, and he wondered if it would be so awful of him to steal the blazer for himself. Byakuya had already given him a scarf worth much more, after all.

In the end Renji pulled the blazer away from his nose and hung it up neatly in the closet. His fingers ran down the lapels as he let go, and then he was just staring at it. It was just a blazer, Renji thought, shaking his head to clear his thoughts a little. Just a piece of clothing.

He frowned as he made his way out of the room and out of the house, still wondering what he should do with the rest of his day. He had several hours to kill and nothing to kill them with. In the end he decided to go back to town. At least the people there talked to him.

Renji spent the rest of his afternoon in town, first playing with whatever kids there were at the park, then drinking by himself in a corner of the bar. The waitress from the coffee shop showed up for a drink, and he waved at her from across the room. She just shook her head, though her eyes were amused. He didn't go back to the cabin until near nine, which was more than an hour after when Byakuya would take the first shift sleeping. But Renji was keeping track of his reiatsu, and so far it seemed to be normal.

Eventually Renji came back to the cabin, and looked into Byakuya's open bedroom door. Only to have his eyes widen in surprise. He ran into the room, using his soul glove to detach from his body as he did so. Zanpakuto by his side, he took in the situation.

Byakuya was asleep on the bed, as expected, looking as peaceful as ever. But connected to various parts of his body were dozens of vein-like tentacles. The were forced through small, mostly bloodless holes, and burrowed their way just underneath the surface of his skin. Renji was starting to freak out. . . when Byakuya told him about this, he had gotten the impression that there was only one vein. Not a disgusting mess of them.

Okay, Renji thought to himself, calm down. Byakuya's reiatsu was fine. The arrancar hadn't been able to do anything to him yet. Renji tried to think of a plan of attack. The number one goal, besides staying alive, was getting information about the arrancar. Hopefully Byakuya was working on that from within the dream world. Renji would have to work on that too. . . he'd find the arrancar, who should be sleeping at the end of these veins. He'd wait as long as possible. . . if he felt Byakuya's reiatsu in distress, he'd cut the veins and get the information from the arrancar by force.

Mind made up, Renji stepped outside. Only to see that the veins all led in completely different directions, spreading out in a circle around the cabin. Fuck. He followed one of them. It seemed to go on for miles; even with shunpoo, it took him a good five minutes to reach the end of it. And he found nothing. . . the vein was tied off to some small metal object that had been secured to a tree.

Renji hurried back to the cabin. He'd have to follow the next one, and then the next, until he found the one that led to the arrancar. Something in his chest was flaring as his palms got sweaty. . . Byakuya would be okay, right? Nothing would happen before Renji could find the arrancar. It would need to trap Byakuya in the dream world in order to consume his soul, and for that to happen Byakuya would need to stay willingly.

And Byakuya would never do that, right?


	6. In Dreams

Byakuya blinked open bleary eyes, feeling not a little bit disoriented. Everything felt so. . . fuzzy. Even as his eyes opened all the way, even as he came to full consciousness, the world around him didn't seem to focus. He stretched out on his silk futon, feeling the thin fabric of his nighttime yukata brush against his skin. In a few moments there was a gentle rapping at his chamber door. Three soft knocks in quick succession.

"Come in," he said, as he stood up from the futon.

Without a word the door was opened and three servants came into Byakuya's room, heads bowed. One went directly to open up the sliding screens that made up the far wall of the bedroom, allowing light in from the courtyard outside. The other two attended to Byakuya, disrobing him before dressing him in an outfit more fitting for the day. A kimono of royal blue, covered by a dark gray haori coat. When they were done he sat down on a nearby chair and they brushed his hair out, carefully pulling strands through a set of white kenseikan. When they were done they stepped back, lined up neatly in a row with their heads bowed.

"Byakuya-sama," one said, "Lady Hisana is waiting in her quarters to take breakfast with you."

Byakuya felt his heart catch at the mention of Hisana's name. An image of violet eyes and gentle smile filled his mind. He had loved her. He had loved her just as surely as she had never loved him. Byakuya looked downward, wondering why he was thinking in the past tense. Something. . . something was off. He had the urge then, for some reason, to leave this place. To just simply step through the front door of the Kuchiki main residence.

"Byakuya-sama."

Byakuya looked up. For some reason whatever he had been thinking about had disappeared and he couldn't remember what it was no matter how hard he grasped. Hisana was waiting for him. He nodded to his servants.

"Go ahead of me and let her know that I will be there shortly."

His servants nodded and left, footsteps quick on the wooden floors. Byakuya, on the other hand, moved at his leisure. He got up and strolled out of his room and into the courtyard. The sun was bright today but the air cool. Perfect weather. He made his way through corridors and courtyards; the main Kuchiki residence was a sprawling affair, and yet it was only a small fraction of the entire estate. Soon enough he found himself at the courtyard outside his wife's bedroom.

Hisana was sitting on the perfectly-manicured green grass, underneath the purple blossoms of a Wisteria tree. She smiled up at him and Byakuya felt his heart stop. He came up and sat beside her, noting the low table that had been placed before her, holding tea and some of the western cakes she seemed to enjoy so much.

"Byakuya," she said, eyes beaming as she placed one of her hands over one of his. "How are you this morning?"

"Well," Byakuya answered. He draped his free hand on Hisana's, feeling the smooth silk of her skin. She looked as beautiful as ever, that joie de vivre inside her clear through those expressive eyes. And yet. . . and yet, something was different. Usually when he saw her it was unbearable, a tsunami of emotions threatening to spill forth from inside of him. But now his emotions were. . . muted. Something inside of him was different, Byakuya realized, though he had no idea what that was. "How are you? Are you feeling very ill today?"

Hisana laughed at that, a sound like bells. "What are you talking about, Byakuya? I've never felt ill a day in my life."

Byakuya blinked. There was something wrong with that. . . wasn't there? But with Hisana in front of him like this, smiling and healthy, he wasn't sure that he had the desire to protest. And yet, still, there was the notion that he shouldn't be here. That he should be leaving.

"Byakuya," Hisana said, leaning forward. "I thought we could spend today feeding the koi in the large pond. Afterwards we can sit by the water. You can practice your calligraphy while I make small temari. Does that not sound pleasant?"

Byakuya nodded. That did sound pleasant. But. . . "I must leave soon for the sixth division headquarters. My division needs me."

"But today's your day off," Hisana said. Her hand tightened over his. "Byakuya, I know that I've been unable to return your feelings towards me up to this point. But in the face of your devotion, of your gentle care, my emotions have grown and grown. . . and I realize now that. . . I love you, Byakuya. It took me some time, but I do love you. Please, just say that you will stay with me."

"Thank you, Hisana." It came out as a dumbfounded whisper. How he had always longed to hear those words, spoken from her lips. But even as his heart swelled he realized that his emotions weren't as strong as he had expected them to be given this occasion. His mind turned to his division, to his duties, to. . . his vice-captain. "But I really should leave, if only to check on affairs in the rest of this estate."

"But isn't this what you want?" She leaned even farther forward, her violet eyes overtaking Byakuya's field of vision. "Don't you want to stay here with me, to have your love returned by the woman you married?"

"I'm sorry, Hisana," Byakuya said, mind resolute, "but I must go."

Byakuya tried to remove his hand from hers, but her grip was surprisingly strong. Her eyes bore into his, as if reading the contents of his heart. There was something strange in them, something Byakuya had never remembered seeing before. For a moment a thought fleeted through his head: this wasn't Hisana. But just as quickly as it had come it was gone, and only the utter ridiculousness of the statement remained.

"If this isn't what you want," Hisana continued, eyes shining, "what is? Tell me, and I will give it to you, if only you'll stay."

For some reason, eyes the color of dark chocolate and burning as though on fire filled Byakuya's mind. The image flashed in his head for just a second before disappearing, before he could even place where it came from. Hisana smiled and moved away, releasing him from her grip.

"In any case," she said, "you should see Sojun before you leave. I believe he is in the calligraphy room."

"Father?" Byakuya felt his heart race. His father was here? And then he wondered why that should be so odd, when this was, after all, his father's home. "I will go to him now."

Hisana only smiled as Byakuya stood up and made his way to the calligraphy room. For some reason, anticipation swelled in his chest with each step that he took. But once he got to the room he froze, a hand on the door handle. He told himself to turn it, to pull the door open. But what if his father wasn't there. . . what if he opened the door to an empty room? Disappointment and heartbreak loomed ever closer, but Byakuya pulled over the door.

To see his father's soft gray eyes look up at him, a gentle smile on his face.

"Byakuya," Sojun said, "what's wrong? You look as though you're going to cry."

And all of the sudden Byakuya felt like the hotheaded, emotional whelp that he was a hundred years ago. He stepped towards his father, steps slow and awkward. He had an overwhelming urge to hug the man, but the Kuchikis were not exactly known for their affection. "It's just. . . I missed you."

Sojun's smile never wavered. "Don't be silly; we just saw each other yesterday."

Byakuya nodded and came to sit beside his father. Shaky fingers reached out to grab the fabric of Sojun's hakama, just to make sure, just to feel that the man was really there. But why shouldn't he be, wondered Byakuya. At any rate, his fingers caught onto fabric that was all too substantial. The feel of it made him want to cry, and for the life of him he didn't know why.

"Is Mother home?" Byakuya asked, eyes lighting up at the thought of his mother.

Sojun shook his head in the negative. "She's out having tea with the wives of the other noble houses."

So she was away on duty. "And what about Grandfather?"

"He has a social call with Captain Commander Yamamoto."

"And how are you feeling, Father?" Byakuya couldn't stop staring at Sojun. He was afraid that if he looked away, Sojun would disappear. He wasn't sure where these insecurities were coming from, but he knew that this was a moment that he should cherish.

"I'm fine," Sojun said, with a small laugh. "But you don't seem yourself today, Byakuya. Are you sure everything is okay?"

Byakuya nodded. "Everything is fine."

And, really, it was an understatement. It felt like so long that Byakuya could just sit next to his father like this, even though it must have been mere days ago. He remembered being a child and spending lazy afternoons just watching as Sojun's pale hand painted elegant characters on parchment. He was unbearably happy to be able to do it again.

"Father," he said, "are you enjoying your retirement?"

"Immensely." Gray eyes, forever beaming with that soft light, turned towards Byakuya. "You've worked so hard in order to take my place. You must know how grateful I am. . . but, more than that, Byakuya, I'm so proud of you. You've grown up to be an even more amazing man than I had expected, and my expectations for you were already immense. I'm so proud that I can call you my son."

Byakuya felt his eyes burning in spite of himself. "Even though. . . with Hisana. . ."

"You silly boy," Sojun said. "I would never begrudge you for falling in love."

"And Rukia?" For a moment Byakuya wasn't sure what he was talking about. Who, exactly, was Rukia, why was her name slipping from his lips. . .

"You were lost," Sojun said. He lifted his hand, brushed it against Byakuya's hair. "You were lost, but you found your way. In the end, you saved her. And that's enough."

Relief and absolution flooded through Byakuya's body. His father wasn't disappointed in him, after all. Byakuya felt a corner of his mouth lift upwards. Rukia and Hisana were rapidly falling from his mind, replaced instead with a flash of crimson red. As much as he wanted to spend time with his father, he knew that his duties with the sixth division called. He would be remiss in not attending to them. And besides, his father was here, alive and well. He would be here when Byakuya returned.

"I'm glad, Father," Byakuya said. "I should leave for the sixth division now, but I look forward to seeing you when I come home."

"There's no need," Sojun said. "After all, Abarai-fukutaichou is coming now to update you on how the division is doing."

"Renji?"

Sojun nodded. "You could stand to enjoy your days off a little bit more, Byakuya. Although I admit it is rare for Abarai-fukutaichou to come to the estate. Perhaps he is really coming for a more. . . personal matter?"

There was a sly look in Sojun's eyes that left Byakuya a little bit horrified. His unspoken emotions for Renji flared in his chest, and suddenly he felt as though they were visible for all to see.

"Of course," Sojun said, "although Abarai-kutaichou is certainly a strapping man, his pedigree leaves much to be desired."

Byakuya felt his heart drop.

"Although, considering that he will surely be promoted to captain soon, I dare say no one will have any complaints. Even the members of the noble Kuchiki family would stay their hands before insulting a captain of the Gotei 13, no matter what his roots."

Byakuya looked up, surprised. His father was smiling at him, and Byakuya couldn't help but smile back.

"I have your approval?" Byakuya asked.

"Oh, Byakuya," Sojun said with a sigh, "when will you realize that you will always have my approval? Of course my answer is a whole-hearted yes."

Byakuya nodded as his eyes started to sting agin. But then he stood up, resolving to come back once his meeting with Renji was done. "I will go meet Renji at headquarters."

"Actually," Sojun said. "I am told he is already here. Waiting for you in the tea room, I believe."

Byakuya nodded and turned to go. As Byakuya got closer and closer to the tea room, he started to hear mumbled words drifting out from inside of it. Apparently Renji was talking to himself, as Byakuya only heard one voice. He came to the open door and looked inside to see Renji staring intently at the lacquered screen wall with his hands clasped behind his back. He looked as though he were studying it, though it was clear his mind was on other matters.

"Byakuya, I. . . no, that's too casual. . . Kuchiki-taichou, there's something. . . no, no, that's wrong too."

A vague memory tugged at Byakuya's mind. It felt like Byakuya had spied in on Renji in this very room recently before, though he couldn't place the scene. He had an uncharacteristic urge to spy on the man once more, but came to the decision that it would be rather rude. Even though he was immensely curious to know what Renji was doing. He cleared his throat, causing Renji to spin around, his eyes wide.

"Taichou!"

"Renji," Byakuya said, striding into the room. He wondered if he should cut to the chase and ask what manner of speech Renji had just been practicing, but felt that Renji would come to that on his own time. Besides, there were more pressing matters at hand. "I believe that you have a report to make to me."

"Oh. Yeah." Renji was fidgeting somewhat on his feet, rolling back and forth on his heels a little. "The sixth division is fine. I've finished all your work, so you don't have to worry about it. All of the seated officers are doing their jobs as instructed, and the unseated officers are training. There is one thing, though, that I thought I should tell you. I just got back from speaking with Captain Commander Yamamoto. . . well, he offered me a captain's position."

"Then I believe congratulations are in order," Byakuya said, wondering why Renji did not look more enthusiastic about the news.

"Yeah. No." Renji shook his head, as if to clear it. "I mean, I haven't decided if I should take it yet."

"Why not?" Byakuya asked. "It seems a fitting opportunity."

"Because then I wouldn't be able to be near you anymore."

Brown eyes bore into his, and Byakuya felt his heart skip a beat. He wasn't sure that he wanted Renji to continue speaking; he thought perhaps he knew what the other man was going to say, and felt ill-prepared to deal with it at this state in time.

"Taichou," Renji continued, voice shaking, "the truth is, that is. . . I can't imagine not seeing you every day. I like you, Taichou. And I don't mean as a subordinate, and I don't mean as a friend. When I see you my heart races and my palms sweat, as cliché as that sounds. When I'm near you I want to kiss you, and more than anything I want you to feel the same way about me."

For several moments there was only silence between them. Byakuya was too shocked to say anything and Renji too scared. It was Renji who broke the stillness between them, sighing and making his way past Byakuya.

"Sorry," he said. "Forget I said anything. I'm an idiot."

Byakuya grabbed Renji's sleeve before he could make it more than a few steps away from him. Renji stopped and stared at him, confused and perhaps a little. . . hopeful? It was another long moment as they stood there, and Byakuya realized that he would have to be the one to act if he didn't want Renji to leave. But he couldn't think of what to do or say.

"Renji," he finally said, before pausing for a moment longer. "I don't deny that I could, perhaps, feel the same way about you."

From the way Renji was looking at him, it was as though he didn't believe the words Byakuya had just spoken. He just stared and blinked. Eventually the silence stretched on so long it grew awkward, and Byakuya frowned at the way things were going. He supposed that, as the superior officer, he should take action to rectify the situation. He grabbed onto Renji's sleeves and lifted himself up, to place a rather embarrassing kiss at the corner of Renji's mouth.

Byakuya started to lower his heels back onto the floor, but before he could do so all the way Renji was reaching an arm around his waist and pulling him forward. His heels came back up off the ground as his body was pulled flush against Renji's. This time it was Renji who initiated the kiss, and this time it was much less chaste than before. Renji's lips pressed firm and insistent against his, and Byakuya couldn't help but respond. He kissed back.

Byakuya reached his arms under Renji's arms, tangled his hands in the fabric covering Renji's back. They were pressed together so closely there was not an inch of space between them. And then, when Byakuya's lips parted, Renji's were quick to follow, their kisses deepening even more. It was all too easy for Byakuya to get caught up in them, all too easy for him to press back against each and every one. He hadn't stopped in when he had the chance, and now he was questioning if he really wanted to.

It was Renji who broke the kiss, though he didn't pull away more than a few millimeters. His forehead came to press against Byakuya's forehead, and when he spoke Byakuya could feel his lips moving against his.

"Taichou," Renji said, the words a hot whisper. "I. . . I want. . ."

But Renji couldn't say what he wanted, and eventually used actions to make up for his inability to be articulate. He shifted a little, enough that Byakuya could now feel something stiff pressing against his hip. And even as the knowledge of what it was made him flush, he couldn't help but feel his own cock grow in response. Still, he tried to pull away, though Renji's arms around his body ensured that he could not move very far.

"We can't," Byakuya said, even as his mind failed to supply reasons why not. Even as he failed to pull away when Renji kissed him again.

The kisses were more urgent this time, more insistent. They were so heated that they made Byakuya forget to breath, made him light-headed and dizzy. Renji's hands pulled at him, pulled at his clothes, and he felt his own hands doing the same. Cool air hit his shoulder as the fabric of his kimono was pulled down and then Renji's mouth was leaving his, moving instead to the expanse of skin at the base of his neck. Byakuya shivered as those lips pressed against his skin and sucked. His breath hitched and his head instinctually moved to give Renji more room.

The way Renji's mouth moved on such an innocous piece of flesh felt better than it logically should have. It sent pinpricks of pleasure dancing over Byakuya's skin, radiating outwards. It had been so long since Byakuya had felt this kind of intimacy. Since he had felt any kind of intimacy. Just the feel of a warm body against his felt almost unbearably good. He could stay like this forever, just holding Renji's body against his.

But Renji had other plans for them, and Byakuya found himself loath to go against them. He couldn't deny the fact that he wanted this just as much as Renji, was wondering why he had even tried to resist. So when Renji started to push him down towards the floor, he pulled the man right along with him. Their kisses were frantic by now. Not just sweet presses of lips against lips, they were hard and needy, with the occasional clumsy clashing of teeth. And yet they felt better than even before. And it felt like there were a million hands on both of them, pulling and tugging, until Byakuya somehow found himself on his knees on the floor as shaking arms grasped onto a nearby windowsill.

Outside, life was going on as usual. The expanse of the Kuchiki estate, all well-manicured gardens, laid out before him, servants and family members alike moving through the background. But they were all too far away to see or hear what was happening in this singular tea room, and besides, in Byakuya's mind it was hard to expand his universe farther than these four walls. All he was aware of was Renji behind him, arms wrapped around his waist, hands fumbling at the ties to his hakama.

Byakuya's breath caught as his pants fell away, dropping to the floor. Not a moment later he felt the back of his kimono being lifted up, exposing his backside to the air. Warm hands kneaded his flesh, spreading it, sending shivers through his skin. But that sensation was nothing compared to what came next. A wet, hot tongue pressed between the cleft of his ass, tracing the rim of his entrance. A shudder wracked through Byakuya's body as his fingers clenched around the windowsill. Part of him still couldn't believe that he was letting this happen, that he was letting Renji lick him there, but that part was quickly being overshadowed by the fact that it felt so unbelievably good.

Byakuya pushed back against that tongue and he was rewarded when it slipped inside of him. He couldn't help the barely audible moan that fell from his lips, the pleasure that flooded his body. He closed his eyes as Renji's tongue moved inside of him, all the better to concentrate on the way it felt. He could feel it undulating inside of him as Renji pushed it farther and farther in, feel it opening him up. It didn't take long before that tongue had him breathing heavy and panting with each thrust and swirl. To be honest, Byakuya had always enjoyed this particular sexual act more than actual penetrative sex, but the mere idea of being joined with someone else was undeniably provocative.

After a long while Renji removed his tongue and spit once into Byakuya's open hole. The sound of fabric shifting filled Byakuya's ears and he opened his eyes to stare out into the garden once again. It was hard to focus on the surroundings though, not when he knew what was about to come next. Sure enough, in a moment he felt it, something stiff and hot pressing against his skin. He could feel Renji position himself over him, Renji's chest flush against his back. A hand brushed against his ass a Renji positioned himself, and then Byakuya's breath caught as Renji pushed in.

As the tip of Renji's cock forced itself inside of him, Byakuya's body pitched forward. He was surprised by how easily he opened up, but there was still that initial shock of penetration, that odd feeling of having something inside of him there. Byakuya's arms dug into the windowsill as he steadied himself, as Renji stumbled slightly on top of him.

"Are you okay?" Renji asked, his voice a breathy moan.

"I'm fine," Byakuya replied, surprised to find that his voice was no more steady. "Keep going."

He needed this, he wanted it, as quickly as possible. Apparently Renji did too, because the other man pushed all the way into him with one hard, long thrust. Byakuya gasped as he felt himself spread open so completely. Renji's hands were a vice grip on his waist, Renji's breathing was loud and labored behind his ears. They stayed like that for a few moments, until the stillness was almost unbearable for Byakuya.

"Hurry," Byakuya said, "I want to feel you moving inside of me."

"Hold on," Renji replied, soft words uttered out between breaths. "You feel too good. If I start moving now I'll shoot right away."

Byakuya nodded as he tried to calm himself down. In a way it felt good just to be like this, too. Just the knowledge that he had Renji completely inside of him was enough to make his cock twitch and leak a little bit. And if he clenched down on his ass muscles he could feel Renji's cock all the more, stiff and long inside of him.

"Stop doing that," Renji finally said, sounding not a little bit on edge.

"Then move already," Byakuya bit back.

With a grunt Renji obeyed. He pulled himself out, but just a little bit, before pushing back in. He started to fuck Byakuya that way, in short, rolling thrusts, each movement sending waves of pleasure through both their bodies. Byakuya could hear the sounds of their love making fill the room and drift out the window. The noise of rustling fabric, of skin meeting skin. Of soft pants and moans that could have belonged to either one of them, or to both.

Byakuya's eyes stared in an unfocused way out the window. His arms sunk into the windowsill, sure to leave indents on his fair skin. But he didn't care about any of that. . . right now, all he could focus on was the feel of Renji's cock as it moved inside of him, on the pleasure it was giving him. Renji leaned forward even more as he fucked him, his mouth coming to latch onto Byakuya's neck once again. Byakuya shivered with the renewed assault on his skin. Then he started pushing back, rolling his hips to meet Renji's movements.

Renji moaned as Byakuya started to move. But it didn't take him long to catch on, moving in the rhythm that Byakuya was setting. Eventually, as the pacing grew quicker, Renji took the hint. Instead of his slow, rolling thrusts, Renji started to pull out even more of his cock before slamming back in. He started to really pound into the man beneath him, enough that the walls seemed to shake with their fucking. Byakuya's fingers were white where they grabbed onto the window frame and he was finding it increasingly difficult to keep from crying out. Renji felt too good inside of him. Byakuya wished that he could fuck him like this forever, but from Renji's increasingly erratic pacing and labored breathing, he didn't think the other man would last much longer.

"Don't release inside me," Byakuya managed to breath out. "It will leave a mess."

"I'll clean you up after," Renji promised, apparently not content to pull out and spill himself on the floor inside. "I want to cum inside of you."

Byakuya flushed at the words, unable to deny the provocative effect they had. He didn't protest as Renji only sped up his thrusts, as Renji moaned low in Byakuya's ear.

"Byakuya," Renji moaned, as Byakuya felt something hot and liquid shoot inside of him.

The sound of his given name from Renji's lips was almost enough to make Byakuya come himself. Almost. After his climax Renji was still for just a moment, then he pulled out with a wet noise that made Byakuya cringe.

True to his word, Renji bent down as Byakuya remained in the same position, his tongue coming to lap at Byakuya's hole. Byakuya moaned as one of Renji's hands found its way to his neglected cock and started to pull on it, even as Renji's tongue forced its way inside of him once again. It squirmed and twisted inside of him as Renji tried to lick up any trace that he had left there earlier.

The feeling of Renji's tongue up his hole and Renji's hand on his cock was almost too much for Byakuya. It felt even better than it did when Renji was just fucking him, and it wasn't long before he grunted his release, spilling his seed into Renji's hand. As he came Byakuya collapsed against the window, even as Renji continued to lather attention on his backside. And it still felt good, to have Renji rimming him, enough that Byakuya made a small whine of protest when his tongue and mouth finally left the area.

Renji was pulling him back, into Renji's chest, then into a soft, warm futon. A scintilla of wrongness passed through Byakuya's mind before it was gone again. He wondered at that, at all the times throughout this day that he had felt. . . odd. But as they fell into the cushioned mattress Byakuya found it hard to think about that. He turned, and then there were lips meeting his again, and he kissed Renji as he pressed their bodies together. This is what he wanted, he thought. This felt right.

"Stay with me," Renji said. "Say that you'll stay here with me."

Byakuya didn't protest. Right now, he couldn't imagine being anywhere but in this bed. "Of course. I'll stay."

Renji smiled, and there was something to it that Byakuya couldn't recognize at the moment.

"Good," Renji said, and Byakuya wondered why a shiver ran up his spine at the word.


	7. Renji's Confession

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

One word kept repeating through Renji's head, over and over again, a curse and a prayer. There were too many tentacles and they were all too long. So far he hadn't been able to find the arrancar, and with every tentacle that didn't lead to it, Renji grew more and more nervous. And then it happened. Byakuya's spiritual energy started to drop.

FUCK.

Renji froze as stress and nerves threatened to consume him. How had this happened? What was going on? How could Byakuya, of all people, fall into the arrancar's trap? And then Renji shook himself out of that thought pattern, cursing himself. He didn't need to be lost in thought right now, he needed to be moving. More than ever he had to find the arrancar, before all of Byakuya's energy was taken. He sped up, going faster than he was before, faster than he had thought himself capable. He needed to save Byakuya.

The thought that this was happening was almost overwhelming. A multitude of scenarios ran through Renji's head, and in a panic he thought about just going back to the cabin and cutting off all the tentacles. But that would mean the arrancar would get away, and Byakuya would be angrier at that than if Renji let him die. No, Renji would leave that as a last resort, if Byakuya's spirit energy got dangerously low.

Finally, after what seemed like forever but must have only been a few minutes, Renji found him. A grotesque chimera of a creature, sleeping upright as it breathed deeply. It was even more hideous than Renji had imagined, and he wished that Byakuya had prepared him a little bit more than this. At least, Renji thought, the fact that it was asleep gave Renji time to act. He wasn't good enough at kido to do this well on the spur. Renji's lips parted as he held up his hands and began the incantation.

"Carriage of thunder," Renji said. "Bridge of a spinning wheel. With light, divide this into six."

In a flash the Six Rode Prison of Light was activated. Six thin, wide beams of light appeared to skewer the arrancar's midsection, effectively holding him in place, though he remained sleeping. Not for long, though, Renji thought. He held up his sword and brought it down on the arrancar's tentacle, causing the arrancar to wake up and cry out in surprise. Renji could feel a sudden drop in Byakuya's reiatsu before it thankfully stabilized. At least he didn't have to worry about his captain right now.

The arrancar was snarling and growling, no doubt trying to look intimidating. A hopeless endeavor considering he couldn't move. This arrancar, Renji decided, was more bark than it was bite.

"Tell me what you know about Aizen," Renji said, "and I'll kill you quickly."

The arrancar laughed, a grating, ugly sound.

"Your friend said something like that to me," he said, "and look where that got him."

"Fuck you," Renji snarled, before stabbing his zanpakuto so deep into the beast's shoulder that it came out the other side. "My captain's perfectly safe, for your information. While you're about to die."

The arrancar cried out in pain as the sword pierced it, pain that was amplified when Renji yanked the sword back out. Blood gushed from the hole that now stood there, but after the shouts of pain died down the arrancar still laughed.

"That all you got?" the arrancar hissed. "Your friend took an arm, and all you can do is this little flesh wound?"

"My bad," Renji said, "guess I should step my game, huh?"

And with that question Renji brought his sword up and sliced downward, cutting off the creature's other arm with one fell swoop. The shouts from the arrancar then were so loud they rattled through Renji's ears and the forest. Birds and animals scattered from the cry, able to sense it even if they couldn't necessarily hear it.

"I'll ask you again," Renji said, when the screams died down. "What do you know about Aizen?"

Again the creature was laughing.

"I know enough," it said, "to know that he won't be brought down by the likes of you."

Renji turned his sword in his hand, then buried the hilt of his sword into the hole where the arrancar's arm used to be. Renji jammed and twisted it inside that red mess of raw flesh and sinew as the arrancar screamed, but pulled out before the thing could pass out from the pain.

"I've got plenty of time," Renji said, walking back to the front of the beast. "And I could always bring you back to Soul Society. I bet they'd have real creative ways of torturing you."

The arrancar was breathing heavily, his eyes glazed over. He was obviously in pain and Renji didn't think that he would hold out for much longer. Renji walked around him, contemplating what to do next. Torture wasn't exactly a topic that was covered in the academy. It just didn't come up very often; they were usually in the business of exterminating hollows, not getting information from them. Renji briefly wished he had a bankai like Byakuya's, capable of inflicting wounds of minute precision. His bankai was too big and loud for that kind of torture work.

Renji once again dug his sword into the arrancar's raw wound, then started the incantation for Way of Destruction number eleven: bound lightning. As soon as it was done a current of electrocity shot through the sword and started to shock and cauterize the arrancar's insides. Renji could smell something like flesh being burnt, an awful scent since he knew the source. The spell continued for several moments until Renji pulled the sword out. This time when the arrancar began speaking, he gave up the information Renji needed.

"All I know," the arrancar said, desperation twisting his words, "is that he's planning something in Karakura Town. And whatever it is, it's going to be big, and it's going to happen soon."

"What exactly is he planning?" Renji asked.

"I told you," the arrancar spat own, even as his body shuddered in pain, "I don't know!"

"Are you sure?" Renji asked, slicing off the arrancar's hoof. Just an extra safety precaution, in case the beast was holding out.

"Yes!" the arrancar screamed, as blood gushed out the stump at the bottom of his leg. "He's planning to send his best arrancar there, I don't know why. Now I told you what I know, let me go!"

"That wasn't the deal," Renji said, before he brought his sword down through the arrancar's head and mask.

The arrancar screamed as it was cut in half, but soon after that it dissipated into the air, the souls that made it up hopefully going wherever they belonged. Renji sheathed his sword as he flash stepped back towards the cabin, intent on making sure Byakuya was okay. They still didn't know much about Aizen's plans, but at least they knew one thing: the next place he would show up was most likely Karakura Town.

When Renji got back to the cabin, Byakuya was awake and sitting up in his bed. His back was hunched over as hands rubbed at his temples. His eyes were squinted shut in either concentration or mild pain, Renji couldn't particularly tell. At any rate, Renji had never seen Byakuya look so. . . not perfectly controlled. It worried him.

"Taichou," Renji said. "Are you okay?"

Byakuya didn't really move at the words, save for the hands that were rubbing at his temple.

"I'm fine," Byakuya replied, after what seemed like a rather long while.

Byakuya's voice had a hoarse, grating tone to it, though Renji didn't think that it was directed towards him. He seemed more pre-occupied with what he was going through than anything else.

"What's the status of the arrancar?" Byakuya asked.

"Destroyed," Renji replied. "I found out that Aizen's planning something for Karakura Town, and it's big, but I don't know what exactly it is. It mostly involves an invasion of some of his top arrancar. It seems that's all the arrancar knew."

Byakuya nodded. "At least it's something. Open up a senkaimon. We'll go back and report to Yamamoto Soutaichou immediately."

"Yes, sir." Renji couldn't help but hesitate, though, as he noticed how shaky Byakuya was as he got up. He seemed a little unfocused, as well, not at all like his usual self. "Taichou, are you sure you're okay?"

And still Byakuya wouldn't lift his head up to look at Renji. "I told you, I am fine. The senkaimon, Renji."

"Yeah," Renji said. "Okay."

Renji took his sword and opened the senkaimon, even as worry tugged at his mind. Byakuya insisted he was fine, but that didn't change the fact that he seemed a little off. Renji knew his place, though, and didn't inquire into it any further. Instead he waited for Byakuya to step through the opening, then followed at a few steps pace.

Someone else in Soul Society would no doubt clean up their belongings down on earth, the gigai and equipment they had left behind, so Renji let that particular concern drop from his head. Instead his thoughts drifted back to Byakuya. Regardless of how Byakuya was doing now, it was a fact that something had happened in the dream world. Something that had caused his spiritual energy to drop.

"Taichou," Renji started, a little hesitant but persisting nonetheless, "what happened in the dream world? How did the arrancar trap you there?"

Byakuya froze at the question, so quickly that Renji almost ran into him. When Byakuya looked back his eyes were hard as steel, and when he spoke his tone was just as cutting.

"I don't believe you need to know that, Renji," Byakuya said.

It was a reply that Renji had expected. And he realized that he should back down, but was smart enough to see a logical way to get Byakuya to spill. "I think it is. If this ever happens again, we need to know how to avoid being trapped. I mean, if a captain like you can get caught in the dream world, it's not like I'd even have a chance."

Byakuya's expression didn't change, but Renji knew that the rational argument would appeal to Byakuya. Sure enough, Byakuya started to speak.

"I let myself give in to my emotions," Byakuya said, something swirling behind his eyes that Renji couldn't read. "It never leads to anything good, and I won't be doing it again."

Renji frowned as Byakuya turned and started to walk forward again. Byakuya's response hadn't really answered anything; really, the cryptic words had only raised more questions. What did Byakuya mean by giving in to his emotions? What did he mean by not doing it again? Without context, Renji had no idea what the real meaning behind those words were. But he knew that he wasn't supposed to ask any more questions, not when Byakuya had already dismissed the conversation. They made their way back to Seireitei in silence, neither one speaking to the other.

Once they were back, Byakuya turned towards Renji to give him his last order of the day.

"You're dismissed," Byakuya said. "I'll report to Yamamoto Soutaicho."

Renji nodded. "Yes, Taichou."

Renji watched as Byakuya disappeared in one quick step. Then he sighed and started to walk back to his quarters. His mind went back to where it was before the arrancar incident had happened, to the telephone conversation with Kira and his deep thoughts at the bar. He still wanted to resolve things with Byakuya. Even if he was rejected, and he knew there was a great likelihood of that happening, he just wanted to say his peace and then move on with his life. He had already spent too long obsessing over Kuchiki Byakuya.

As soon as Renji got to his quarters he plopped down onto his bed, but he was too wired to actually sleep. Instead he stared out the window as a multitude of thoughts ran through his head. Thoughts about Byakuya, about Aizen, about the whole situation in Soul Society right now. There was just too much going on, and it gave Renji a headache.

A few hours later Renji groaned as he shot into sitting position, then punched the bed as he propelled himself off. At this rate he wasn't going to get any sleep. He had to get at least one thing off the crowded mess on his mind, and he knew what that one thing was: he had to talk to Byakuya. He knew it wasn't the ideal time to do it, but he had to get it off his chest. Without giving himself time to get nervous and change his mind, Renji shunpooed to the Kuchiki estate, then shunpooed inside. He felt for Byakuya's reiatsu and made his way there, finally coming to stand outside a door in the main house. He took a deep breath and knocked.

Only to be tackled by what had to be a dozen men, all dressed in head to toe purple.

The door to Byakuya's room opened. Byakuya looked down at the mess of men and limbs on the floor in front of him, expression reading just a little bit of irritation.

"Byakuya-sama," said a voice to Renji's right, "we apprehended this man making his way to your room."

Byakuya gave a long-suffering sigh. "It's fine. That fool is my vice-captain. Resume your posts."

And just like that Renji felt the weight lifted off of him, as all the men seemed to disappear into thin air.

"Those are some guards you have," Renji said. He wondered why they weren't shinigami. They certainly had the physical agility, at the very least.

"Only the best," Byakuya replied, as though it were a foregone conclusion. "Renji, what are you doing here?"

Renji pushed himself off the floor and stood up, noticing with a flush that Byakuya was dressed only in a night yukata and had his hair free of its usual kenseikan. It's true he had seen Byakuya without his kenseikan several times over the last few days, but it never failed to make his breath catch, just a little bit.

"Can I come in?" Renji asked.

Byakuya seemed to regard him for a very, very long time. Renji wondered if there was any chance Byakuya would say yes, but then a small nod of Byakuya's head gave Renji permission to enter. Still, his tone was cold when he spoke again.

"I don't recall calling for you," Byakuya said, closing the door as Renji stepped inside.

"You said I could come visit whenever I wanted," Renji replied, figuring that was true enough.

"I said that you could come visit Rukia whenever you wanted. And I believe she prefers to stay in her division barracks, and is, indeed, there right now."

Renji frowned. Byakuya was acting even colder towards him than he was right after the feeding incident. It was as though the ryoka invasion had never happened. As though Byakuya had never opened up, if only a little bit. Renji wondered if this had anything to do with the arrancar and the dream world, but even if it did there was nothing he could do about it, not what he didn't even know what had happened.

"I have something to say to you," Renji said. He had to get it out before he thought about it too much, before he realized what an awful idea this was. He pushed himself to do it, just like he pushed himself to do so many other things in his life, even though he knew his chances were bleak. "I know this isn't the best time, but I've got to say it. I. . . Kuchiki-taichou. . . no, Byakuya. . ."

Renji had expected a flash of anger from Byakuya at the use of his given name, but instead he thought he saw panic flare up in those gray eyes. But then it was gone, and he realized that he must have imagined it. Byakuya was not the type of man who would panic, especially not over something like that.

"The truth is," Renji continued, still wondering how he was going to phrase this, "the way I've felt about you, for a long time now, well. . ."

"Renji, stop."

If Renji didn't know better, he'd think that Byakuya's voice was just a tiny bit shaky. But he knew Byakuya well enough to realize that it hadn't been. He stopped, at least for the moment, to listen to his captain.

"Whatever it is you are about to say," Byakuya said, stressing every word, "don't say it. It will be better for both of us if you just leave."

Renji blinked. Did Byakuya. . . did Byakuya know what he was about to say? Renji flushed with unexpected anger. He wondered if Byakuya had known about his emotions all this time, even before Renji did, and had seen fit to ignore them. No doubt Byakuya thought Renji's emotions were beneath comment or attention. But that thought, and the anger that accompanied it, only spurred Renji on to say what he said next.

"Taichou, I love you. I've always loved you."

And. . . nothing. Renji was staring at the floor. He couldn't bring himself to look up. And Byakuya wasn't saying anything, wasn't moving either. Finally Renji looked up, into eyes that were strangely blank. Whatever was going on behind them, Renji couldn't read it.

"Taichou," he said, "did you hear me?"

Byakuya still didn't say anything for the longest time. But finally, when the tension between them felt as though it were about to snap, he spoke.

"I heard you," he said, eyes hardening as he seemed to come to some kind of decision. "And it doesn't matter. We will continue on with the relationship we have always had, and we will forget about what you have said today."

"Why?" Renji asked, stepping forward despite himself. "Why do we have to do that?"

"Because intra-division affairs are inappropriate."

"That's bullshit," Renji said, and he couldn't help but snarl a little bit. "Since when was that even an issue?"

"Because emotion attachments only lead to irrational decisions," Byakuya said, and this time it didn't sound like he was pulling something out of his ass.

Still, that wasn't an answer Renji could ever live with. Didn't the whole incident with Rukia teach Byakuya otherwise, after all?

"That's even more bullshit," Renji said. "And you know it."

Something flickered in Byakuya's eyes, something that Renji couldn't read. But then they were hard as stone again as Byakuya looked up at him. When Byakuya answered, his reply was simple and final.

"Because you're not good enough."

Renji froze. He could feel his stomach drop, could feel a large space at the back of his throat. His mouth felt all of the sudden dry, but he forced himself to speak.

"You think I don't know that?" he asked, and the way his voice trembled only served to embarrass him further. "I've said it before and I'll say it again. I'm a tramp, right down to my bones. I don't know what I was thinking, coming here."

His bravado was crumbling, revealing the truth he felt in his heart: he was no match for Kuchiki Byakuya, not on any level.

"Sorry for wasting your time," Renji said, before he turned and left.

Renji left the Kuchiki estate as quickly as he was able to. He had been a fool to come. He had hoped to resolve one of the many issues in his head, but now his heart weighed heavier than even before. He had known that the outcome would be a bad one, and yet he still felt so deeply the impact of it. What the hell was wrong with him?

And now, the thought of returning to his lonely, empty room was unbearable. He needed to drink, and he knew just the person he wanted to drink with.

In just a few moments Renji was in the ninth division barracks, knocking on the door of the vice-captain's quarters. Surprisingly, it only took a few seconds for Hisagi to come to the door, and when he did he was still dressed in his shinigami uniform.

"Sake," Renji said, pushing past Hisagi as he made his way into the apartment, "you have it, right?"

Hisagi frowned as he watched Renji head over to the liquor cabinet, grabbing a bottle of the many sake bottles Hisagi kept around. . . kept there just in case Rangiku ever wanted to come over and have a drink. Not that she did very often, preferring as she did more communal spaces.

"What are you doing here, Abarai?" he asked. "The Seireitei Monthly goes to press soon, I have a lot of stuff to do."

But by the time he said that, Renji had already downed about a fourth of the bottle. It felt good as it burned its way down his throat. It wouldn't take long, he decided, to get drunk tonight, as long as he kept up this pace.

"Careful," Hisagi said with a scowl, "or I might be dragging you to the fourth division later to have your stomach pumped."

"Sit down and drink," Renji said, pouring sake into one of Hisagi's cups. "You look like you need it."

Indeed, Hisagi did look stressed and tired. His skin was strangely dull and there were bags underneath his bloodshot eyes. It was not a good look for him.

"This is the last thing I need right now," Hisagi said. "Do you have any idea how much work a captain has to do? Especially in the ninth division, where we also have to publish a magazine every freaking month? And on top of that I still have my own duties-"

"Exactly why you need a drink," Renji countered. "You need to take a break. Trust me, you'll be able to work better afterwards."

Hisagi scowled, obviously not believing Renji. But apparently he realized that there was no getting rid of the other man and decided to join him for at least one drink. He sat down opposite Renji and lifted the cup to his lips. There were a few moments of silence between them, Hisagi just staring at Renji as Renji slumped over the table and drank.

"What happened?" Hisagi finally asked, a noticeable amount of concern lacing his voice.

Renji shook his head, not sure where he should even start. He was trying to concentrate on getting drunk, because at least that prevented him from thinking about anything else. "Nothing."

"Nothing my ass," Hisagi countered. "If you didn't want to talk to someone about it, you'd be drinking alone in your room right now."

Renji paused as he took a gulp of sake. It wasn't that, exactly. "It's just. . . I didn't feel like being by myself right now."

There was an awkward moment between them as neither said anything. Then Hisagi sighed and refilled his cup.

"Fine," he said. "I guess I could use a break."

Renji was never the more glad to have company. His friend, while maintaining a rather punk-ish appearance, was actually pretty straight-laced, so he must have been feeling sorry for Renji if he was agreeing to drink with him. Renji was happy to have friends like Hisagi, Kira, Rukia. . . it made him feel a little less worthless at times like these.

And worthless was definitely a word that would sum up his emotions right around now. Byakuya's words ran through his head. _You're not good enough_. And Renji knew it, Renji couldn't even blame Byakuya for saying it. Which is why he was surprised at the impact the words were having on him. But knowing it in his heart and hearing it straight from the man he admired were two completely different things.

Renji hiccuped as his mind started to feel fuzzy and warm. This is what he wanted, that oblivion that alcohol gave him. He just wanted to drink until he passed out and trust Hisagi to tuck him in on the couch afterwards. Hisagi, whose mere presence Renji appreciated more than anything, even if they weren't currently saying anything to each other.

"Thanks," Renji said, so softly it was barely audible.

Hisagi sighed. There was the sound of a chair scraping as he stood up, coming to take the seat next to Renji instead. A hand came up to squeeze Renji's shoulder, the motion feeling cumbersome and awkward.

"Of course," Hisagi said, because he probably didn't know what else to say.

"It's just. . . all I've ever seen," Renji started, voice uncharacteristically small, "since the first day we met, is him. At the forefront of my mind, it's always been him. But he doesn't see me at all. All he's ever done is ignore and tolerate me. So when we got a little bit closer. . . I guess I just let it go to my head. I was an idiot, you know? If only. . . if only I could be a better person. If only I could be more than I am. But I'm just a street rat for Rukongai. . . that's all I'll ever be."

The hand on his shoulder tightened.

"You're wrong," Hisagi said, "that's not all you are."

But Renji shook his head. He could feel his eyes start to sting, even as the alcohol started to overtake his mind.

"It is," he said, and that was all he remembered before passing out.

Renji woke up the next morning to tiny, isolated breezes blowing over his face. He opened his eyes to discover that there was a hell butterfly flapping over him, small wings skipping back and forth in the air. It was delivering a message: Yamamoto wanted to see both him and Byakuya, on the next hour.

A small flare of panic flashed in Renji's chest at the mention of Byakuya, but he pushed it down again. It wasn't a big deal, he told himself. They were still captain and vice-captain. Surely he was man enough to perform his duties without letting personal feelings get involved.

Renji sat up, realizing that Hisagi had indeed tucked him into the couch. The other man was gone, no doubt in the ninth division offices taking care of whatever business he had to attend to. The guy was a little too serious for his own good. . . Renji wondered why he didn't delegate just a little bit more. At any rate, apparently Renji had his own business to attend to. He got up and used Hisagi's bathroom to wash up a little, then shunpooed over to Yamamoto's office.

Once he got there, he wasn't surprised to see that Byakuya had again arrived before him. As usual, Byakuya sat at the low table with Yamamoto, drinking tea, and didn't even look up from his cup as Renji entered. Renji felt a pang at the casual dismissal, but it was nothing he couldn't deal with. He sat down at the table with them as he waited for Yamamoto to speak.

"Renji," Yamamoto said, once Renji had settled. "So good of you to join us. I was just discussing our next strategy with Byakuya. Ukitake is still conducting research in the Great Library, of course, trying to discover what Aizen wants to do in Karakura Town. I have my own theories on the matter. . . I just want to confirm them before we act. But, as far as an attack on the town is concerned, I'm afraid it has already come to pass. I have received reports that a group of arrancar attacked the substitute shinigami and his friends just last night."

"What?" Renji asked, fists coming down on the low table. "What happened? Are they okay?"

"Calm down, Abarai-fukutaichou. I'm just getting to that part. I would like you two to lead a team to Karakura Town. Several high-level shinigami should be taken, since it seems like Aizen is planning something big for the small town. Take care of any arrancar that show up. You are to go undercover at the home of the ryo- I apologize, the home of the substitute shinigami."

Renji frowned. Ichigo probably would not be happy to hear about that.

"You will remain at the post," Yamamoto continued, "until further orders."

"I'm afraid I must decline," Byakuya said, placing his cup of tea on the table. "Unfortunately, with all that has been going on, I have been remiss in attending to my familial duties. There is much I must work on with the other noble families."

Renji blinked wide eyes at Byakuya, though his captain didn't even glance his way. Even he could tell that was bullshit. Byakuya just didn't want to spend time with him. Did the other man hate him so much?

"I see," Yamamoto said, clearly disappointed. But, even as Captain Commander, there was little that he could do. The Gotei 13 were generally not allowed to interfere in the affairs of the four noble families. "That is unfortunate. I was hoping to have one captain on this mision, as I predict Aizen will be sending some of his more powerful arrancar."

"I'm sure," Byakuya said, "that one of the other captains will be happy to volunteer."

"True enough," Yamamoto said. He acquiesced with a sigh. "Renji, for now you are in charge of putting a team together. Get Kuchiki Rukia, since she knows the substitute shinigami the best. And do try to convince a captain to come along, will you? Leave as soon as you are prepared. The twelfth division will, of course, prepare gigais and clothing immediately."

"Yes, Soutaichou," Renji said. Gathering a team wouldn't be difficult. Ichigo had somehow found a way to make so many friends when he was here, there would surely be no shortage of people eager to go visit him. He already knew Ikkaku was bored and looking for something to do.

Renji waited until Byakuya stood up before he stood up himself, then he followed Byakuya out of the room. He was on his way to the tenth division, while Byakuya was walking to the sixth, but for some time they would follow the same path. So Renji followed at a few steps, as a good vice-captain should. He stared at the back of Byakuya's head, at that silky black hair, and lamented the fact that Byakuya hadn't looked at him once all day. Things between them seemed even worse than before the ryoka invasion.

Eventually, they came to the point where their paths diverged. Without saying one word to him, Byakuya set off in one direction, while Renji remained standing on the spot. He stared after his captain as the other man disappeared, wondering if he should have said something, not knowing what he would have said. After a long while he turned and headed to the tenth division. It would be good to get away from Soul Society for awhile. It would be a good distraction. He could spar with Ichigo, kick some arrancar butt, and maybe get some answers out of the guy who put Rukia in that godawful gigai when she was stuck in the human world.

Yeah, Renji decided, this trip would be good for him.


	8. Byakuya goes to the Human World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually finished writing this fic awhile ago, but haven't posted it because I kind of hate these last two chapters. But I'm kind of stuck in a rut when it comes to this story, so figured it was better to post the chapters instead of making people wait indefinitely for an ending that might never come. Maybe one day I'll go back and rewrite them, but most likely not. Expect the last chapter soon (maybe in a week). There are some other fics that I want to post, then I'll give the last chapter one more proofread and then post it.

Byakuya wasn't sure what exactly he was doing. When Renji had confessed to him, he had panicked. He was still in a confused state after what had happened in the dream world, and he still felt unbelievably guilty that he had used Renji in such a tawdry way. Fantasizing about having sex with the other man, even if it was the fault of the arrancar, seemed a vulgar betrayal. But the worst thing about the whole affair was the fact that he allowed himself to become trapped. What happened just reinforced his old mantra in his mind: it was best to make rational decisions, not emotional ones.

But he knew that Renji wouldn't understand that. Renji lived his life based on his emotions, the confession itself was proof enough of that. It was one of the things that drew Byakuya to the other man. The sheer passion and conviction he must have to live his life the way he wanted to. So Byakuya had thought up an excuse that he knew Renji would understand, and those wretched words had slipped out of his mouth: _you're not good enough_.

He regretted it as soon as he had said it. He regretted it because as soon as he had said it, something in Renji had seemed to crumble away, and all that was left was all the insecurities that he usually hid. It had been heart wrenching to see, and had left Byakuya speechless. Then Renji had left, and Byakuya hadn't even had the chance to say anything back.

But really, Byakuya thought, wasn't it for the best?

Of course, now Byakuya had had to call some meetings of the four noble families in order to prevent being a liar in front of Yamamoto. Which was fine, as they were in need of them anyway. It's just that there were other things Byakuya would rather be doing with Aizen on the loose.

At any rate, at least it was a distraction from Renji, who Byakuya had to admit he had still been thinking of much too often. He had thought that rejecting the man would have helped with that, but it didn't seem to be the case. Renji still lingered in his mind, along with a vague sense of guilt over what Byakuya had said.

Byakuya stood up from where he had been sitting on the bed, having his hair and kensaiken attended to by his servants. The voluminous fabric of his royal purple robes shifted around him as his servants came around to drape a matching haori over his shoulders. It was made of a silk much more expensive than that of his captain's haori and was emblazoned on both sides, in the finest gold thread, with the Kuchiki family emblem.

Appropriately dressed, Byakuya was ready for court. In too short of a time he was there, making his way through the richly lacquered halls where members of the four noble houses liked to congregate and gossip. Various people, some of whom he knew and some of whom he didn't, greeted him as he walked by, and he nodded back as he passed. Soon he had come to the great hall and took a seat at one of the four cushions at the front. Other nobility had already filled the seats around them, but Byakuya was the first of the heads to have arrived.

Just a few minutes later, though, the door was opening with a clatter. Byakuya looked over to see, of all people, Yoruichi being dragged in kicking and screaming by no less than four people. Byakuya assumed it was only the fact that they were helpless servants that prevented Yoruichi from hurting them to get away.

"I told you," Yoruichi was saying, "I'm not coming back, I have no intention of resuming my post as head of the clan."

"Yoruichi-sama, please behave appropriately. We are in court."

After a short scuffle Yoruichi was seated on the cushion as her servants scurried away. There was a scowl on her face that pleased Byakuya to no end, and she looked decidedly uncomfortable in the yards of hand-painted silk that swathed her.

"I can't believe," Byakuya began, turning up his nose a little bit, "that the Shihoin family would actually want you back. You would think they would be elated were you to run away again."

"Don't you worry that pretty little head of yours," Yoruichi teased back, "I'm not planning on sticking around after this meeting. Although it is a treat to see you all done up again, Byaku-chan. I haven't seen you like this since. . . hmm. . . I guess it was your coming of age ceremony. When you were throwing up in the bathroom because you were so nervous."

Byakuya paled at the memory. "I was young then, and more susceptible to the whim of my emotions."

Yoruichi was chuckling softly, a sound that Byakuya had always despised.

"Sure, sure," she said. "I'm sure you would never let something like that happen now. Still, I miss the old Byakuya. You're not as cute now as you were then."

"And you are as just as insufferable as ever," Byakuya countered, inwardly seething as Yoruichi laughed. There was just something about the woman that always managed to infuriate him so.

"Oh, Byaku-chan, don't be like that. You must have missed me while I was away, at least a little."

"Not at all," Byakuya replied, growing tired of this conversation. He hoped the other heads would get there soon so he could end it.

"But who have you had to play with? Poor, friendless Byakuya. I'm sure that even you get lonely."

"Better to be alone than suffer the company of fools."

"Is that so?" Yoruichi asked, the teasing tone in her voice only increasing. "In that case, why are you receiving clandestine midnight visits from a certain redheaded vice-captain?"

Byakuya's head snapped to the side with the question, eyes wide yet set in an angry glare. "How did you know about that?"

Yoruichi looked momentarily shocked by Byakuya's reaction, but it passed soon enough, that sly smile back in place. "Every one knows about it, Byakuya. It's been the talk of court all morning. Apparently someone saw Renji sneaking into the Kuchiki estate."

Byakuya felt a flare of panic before he pushed it down and composed himself. "That's nothing of consequence. After all, Renji is my vice-captain. He was calling as a matter of business."

"That's what I figured," Yoruichi replied, "until I saw your reaction right now. So, Byakuya, care to tell me what's really going on between you and Renji?"

"Hardly," Byakuya muttered back. "As though I would share anything with you."

"Yeah? You got someone else you can share with? Someone you can talk to?"

Byakuya gave Yoruichi a long sideways glare before turning back to face the front. The woman looked all too amused at the situation, and Byakuya had no intention of encouraging her. Besides, the other two heads were there, which meant they could start the meeting. Byakuya settled into his seat as the meeting began and pushed any thoughts he had of Renji out of his head.

As soon as the meeting was over Yoruichi was quick to stand up, no doubt eager to leave before her family retainers were able to get ahold of her again. Byakuya watched as her robes fell away from her body, leaving a puddle of silken cloth on the floor. She was dressed in a sleeveless top and leggings that came only to her knees, and Byakuya was surprised to see that one of her arms and one of her legs was bandaged.

"Arrancar attack," Yoruichi said, not missing Byakuya's inquisitive glance. "In Karakura Town. Who do you think told Old Man Yamamoto about it? Now, if you don't mind, I'll be making my escape back to the human world."

Yoruichi made to leave, but then she stopped, turning back to wink at Byakuya.

"By the way, I think Renji would actually be a lot of good for you. Don't screw it up, kid."

Byakuya frowned as Yoruichi disappeared into nothingness. He then stood himself and made his way back to his estate, in order to get dressed and return to his captain's duties. Which, right now, consisted of performing the duties of the Central 46 with a few of the other captains while finding suitable people to replace them.

Once he was back in the Central 46 chambers, though, Byakuya's work proved inadequate at keeping thoughts of Renji at bay. And now those thoughts were tempered even more by Yoruichi's words. The fact that Yoruichi approved of Renji only reinforced to Byakuya that he had done the correct thing in rejecting him. But every time he would think that he would also think of the way Renji had looked when he had done it, at that wretched expression on his face.

And once Byakuya's work was done for the day and he headed back to his home, thoughts of Renji all too easily pushed their way to the forefront of his mind. It was driving him insane. He spent an hour practicing his calligraphy in a vain attempt to focus on something else, but ended up tossing his pen across the room in frustration when it didn't work. And Yoruichi had been right about at least one thing: there was no one Byakuya could talk to about this.

Byakuya frowned as he looked down at the off-white paper in front of him, marred by less than perfect strokes of black ink. What was he thinking. . . he didn't actually wish to discuss this with someone else, did he? He was more than capable of resolving his own problems.

Byakuya sat back as he thought it over. And he realized that he did need to resolve this, if he wanted to get Renji off his mind. He needed to apologize, explain that he had panicked, and then make up a less hurtful lie why they couldn't be together. Perhaps he would tell Renji that he was betrothed to be married again. Byakuya shook his head. . . no, no, that was an awful idea. Perhaps he would just explain the remark he had made. He would say that it wasn't he himself who thought Renji wasn't good enough, it was the elders in his family. And he would say that he himself found Renji to be a more than capable warrior and impressive man. That would surely bolster Renji's self-confidence back to healthy levels, would it not?

Looking up at the sky, Byakuya saw that while it was dark it was not yet too late. He could resolve this soon enough, if he wanted to. The Kuchiki estate had its own private senkaimon, after all, and it could hardly be difficult to find Renji in the area known as Karaukura Town.

A few days later, Byakuya finally had some time to go see Renji. He waited until he was done with work and it was dark to head towards his private senkaimon. In no time at all he was walking through that familiar divide between Soul Society and the human world, and then he was stepping back out into cold night air. Karakura Town lay spread out below him, peaceful at least for the moment. It was so strange that such a small city managed to attract such spiritual activity, though Byakuya wondered if it was Kurosaki Ichigo's mere presence that was the cause of that.

At any rate, Byakuya felt for Renji's spiritual energy, glad that the man was doing nothing to hide it. He followed it across the town, landing in front of a small storefront between what looked like the residential and commercial districts. "Urahara Shoten" was written in neat characters on a wooden side overhead its door. Byakuya recognized the name, of course. He had only met the man called Urahara a handful of times as a youth, but had heard enough about him from Yoruichi and Ginrei to know who the man was.

Byakuya made his way inside, sure that Urahara would not mind the intrusion. He walked through the shop proper and into the residential section of the building. After a small hallway he stepped into a dark living room, which he could see was open in the back to the backyard. And there he could see Renji, illuminated only slightly by the backyard lights. He was sitting on the back porch, back to Byakuya. And just a few feet away from him was Ichigo. Byakuya started to make his way towards them, even as their conversation started to drift back into the room.

"What are you doing here anyway?" Renji was asking. "Figured you and Rukia would be busy catching up on things or some shit like that."

"Are you kidding?" Ichigo answered. "Rukia's the reason I'm here. With her in the house, it's three against one. I can hardly get a word in edgewise with her and my sisters going on all the time."

"Yeah, can't say I feel sorry for you. Urahara's avoiding my questions like crazy, his kids-and why the hell does he have kids, anyway?-act like I'm some kind of freeloader, and I'm pretty convinced that Yoruichi is some kind of sadist."

"She does seem to enjoy making other people uncomfortable," Ichigo grumbled.

Byakuya felt some empathy for the other two men. So he wasn't the only one Yoruich was constantly teasing.

"Besides, man," Ichigo continued, "I wanted to find out what's up with you. You seem. . . different."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Renji replied, though from his tone of voice he must have known exactly what Ichigo was talking about.

"Yeah, right," Ichigo said, obviously not believing Renji any more than Byakuya did. "This wouldn't happen to be about a certain hardheaded captain is it?"

Byakuya froze. He knew that he should stop this habit of eavesdropping on Renji, but. . . despite his better intentions, he took a step into the shadows. Ichigo and Renji couldn't see him from where they were, but he could still see them. As an added precaution he hid his spiritual energy even more than he usually did, in case one of the typically oblivious men was having a perceptive night.

"Oh, come on," Renji said, "give him a break. He hasn't been so bad these days."

Byakuya frowned. Had he been that bad before?

"Yeah?" Ichigo asked. "And how are things between you two going? You making any progress with him yet? You did spend that romantic mission away, after all, from what Rukia told me."

"What? How? What did-"

Renji seemed genuinely surprised at Ichigo's questions, much to Byakuya's relief. It made him glad that Renji wasn't sharing information on his personal life with Ichigo. For some reason it irked Byakuya how close the two had become during the ryoka invasion, so it was nice to see that there were limits to that closeness.

"How did I know that you have a huge schoolgirl crush on Byakuya?"

"I wouldn't put it th-"

"Come on, Renji," Ichigo continued. "When we were training together he was all you could talk about. I'm willing to bet he was all you could think about. You're like some obsessed stalker."

"Again," Renji said, and it sounded as though it was coming out from gritted teeth, "that's not exactly the way I would put it."

Byakuya watched as Ichigo shrugged his shoulders, and as Renji's own shoulders heaved in a sigh.

"Man," Renji continued, "did every one know I was in love with him before I did? Am I really that big of an idiot that I couldn't realize it? Even he knew before I did."

That was not true, Byakuya thought.

"How do you know that?" Ichigo asked.

"He tried to stop me before I confessed to him, so obviously he knew what I was about to do. The bastard probably thought it wasn't worth saying anything about until I had to go and bring it out in the open, and even then he just wanted to pretend it never happened. He probably thought I was just some pathetic fool with a crush."

That wasn't how it happened at all, Byakuya thought, hands tightening at his side. That's not what he thought. Renji had it all wrong.

"So what are you going to do now?"

Now it was Renji's turn to shrug. "Put it behind me, I guess. What else am I supposed to do? It's just. . . knowing it's my only option doesn't make it any less hard."

"Maybe it's for the best," Ichigo said. "Maybe you just need to get over him already. I mean, you've been obsessing over him for years, haven't you?"

"Are you giving me relationship advice?" Renji asked. There was a teasing quality to his voice, a vast improvement over the morose tone he had been using before. "Cause from what I've heard, you've never had a girlfriend and freak out whenever you see a naked chick."

"And who said I was into girls?" Ichigo asked.

Byakuya froze. It sounded almost as though Ichigo were flirting. Byakuya's first impulse was to shunpoo onto the porch right then and there and interrupt Ichigo and Renji's conversation, but he was level-headed enough not to.

"Maybe you just need to do something to get your mind off him," Ichigo continued.

Byakuya's eyes narrowed as his fingernails dug into his palms. What activities was Ichigo refering to, exactly, to get Renji's mind off things?

". . . What exactly would you suggest?" Renji asked, and it was his tone of voice that really shocked Byakuya.

It sounded almost. . . interested.

And now the two men were sitting on the porch, staring at one another, a heavy silence filling the space between them. Byakuya felt like he was going to be sick. For someone who had professed to love him, Renji certainly didn't need very long to move onto someone else. He had made the right decision after all, Byakuya thought. He was right to reject Renji's advances. The other man obviously didn't care for Byakuya the way he had professed to. And here Byakuya had thought devotion was one of Renji's better points.

He didn't want to watch what happened next. He didn't think he could bear it. So he quickly turned, about to make his way out, when he felt himself colliding into another body.

"Why, if it isn't Byakuya!" came the sing-song, male voice. "I haven't seen you since your coming of age ceremony. I remember Yoruichi had to come out and tell everyone you were late because you were throwing up in the bathroom. What brings you here?"

Byakuya pushed Urahara away from him. Were Yoruichi's friends just as insufferable as she was? He was about to mumble some excuse and go, but then Urahara was grabbing his arm and pulling him towards the backyard.

"Hey, guys!" Urahara called. "Guess who I just found."

Ichigo and Renji looked back and up, both their eyes widening at the same time as they caught sight of Byakuya. Renji jumped up right after that, standing at attention.

"Taichou," he said, "is something wrong?"

"Yeah," Ichigo added, though the boy didn't have the manners to stand up at Byakuya's arrival. "Why are you here?"

Byakuya couldn't help but send Ichigo a small glare. Of course the ryoka wouldn't want him around. But then Byakuya realized that he didn't really have an excuse for being there.

"I just came to check up on the mission," Byakuya said. "And to get any reports of further Arrancar activity."

Ichigo raised an eyebrow at the explanation. "Isn't Toushirou reporting directly to Yamamoto about that?"

"I came to check on things personally, as the spiritual reception can be unstable. It is sometimes hard to hear all of Hitsugaya-sempai's report." That, from what Byakuya had heard, was true enough.

"Well, I can give you a report of everything going on, if you don't mind that it's not from Hitsugaya-taichou," Renji said.

Byakuya nodded, relieved. "If we could have a private place to discuss-"

"What's the rush?" Urahara asked. "You just got here. Let's have some sake and relax first."

Since when was Urahara holding those cups and sake bottle? Byakuya was going to protest, but every one was already moving to sit around the living room table, already getting into the spirit of things by the looks of it. Byakuya frowned to see Ichigo make himself comfortable right next to Renji. It didn't take long before three full sake cups and a bottle of coca-cola were sitting on the table, and Urahara was blinking up at Byakuya expectantly.

"Aren't you joining us?" he asked.

Byakuya seriously doubted that Urahara would let him go without drinking at least a little bit. He supposed that if he just sipped lightly on his cup for awhile, then ordered Renji to leave with him, it would be fine. He sat down opposite Renji and Ichigo and next to Urahara. The others resumed their conversation right away, and Urahara had no trouble joining in. Byakuya, on the other hand, could find nothing to add to the discussion, especially since they were speaking of matters that had occurred in the human world, matters of which Byakuya had no knowledge.

And he wasn't sure if it was his imagination or not, but it seemed as though every few minutes Ichigo would creep just a little bit closer to Renji.

Byakuya frowned into his sake, feeling at a loss. He didn't even know why they wanted him to stay, it's not as though he was adding anything by being there. After what had happened between them, he didn't think that Renji enjoyed his presence. Or maybe Ichigo wanted him there, in order to rub his closeness with Renji in Byakuya's face. Every other phrase from Ichigos mouth, after all, was "remember when we. . . " or "we had so much fun. . .," always with that damned pronoun.

Finally Byakuya couldn't take it anymore. He slammed his sake cup onto the table and stood. Though he didn't look at any of their faces, he imagined that Renji, at least, would be staring up at him with shock.

"Excuse me," he said. "I didn't come here to waste my time frivolously. I'll be leaving now."

And with that proclamation he turned and walked quickly out the door. He was right outside the Urahara Shouten when he withdrew his zanpakuto, intent on returning to Soul Society. It had been a mistake to come here. Renji was obviously enjoying his time with Ichigo, so there was no need for him to have been worrying about the man for all this time. He had been a fool to do so.

Byakuya had his arm half-raised to open the senkaimon when someone grabbed it and pulled it back down.

"Taichou, wait! I'm sorry we tried to make you drink with us. If you need a report, I'll make you one now."

Byakuya turned to glare at his vice-captain. "Remove your hand from my person, Renji."

Renji's eyes widened, but he did what he was told. His hand dropped to his side as he awaited further instructions from his captain.

"A report from you won't be necessary," Byakuya said. "It's obvious that you would rather spend your time galavanting with that ryoka. I can request a report from Hitsugaya or one of the others."

"But I'm right here," Renji said. "I'm more then capable of giving you a report right now."

"Wouldn't you rather get back to drinking with Kurosaki Ichigo?"

"What are you talking about?" Renji asked, looking genuinely confused. "If I didn't know better, I'd think you were jealous."

The words seemed to knock the breath from Byakuya's lungs. For a moment he couldn't think of what to say, but that was enough of a moment for realization and shock to pass over Renji's face. And then there was no denying it, not really, even as his lips started to craft their denial.

"Don't be preposterous," Byakuya said, but his words were cut off by the feeling of lips on his.

Byakuya took a step back, but it just made the situation worse. Not only did he find himself pressed against the wall as he did so, Renji only followed him, closing the space between them even more. Renji's arms came up to brace against the wall on either side of Byakuya's face, forming at least the illusion of a trap. They both knew that Byakuya could be free of this situation easily enough, if he wanted to be.

Byakuya parted his lips to protest, but that only gave Renji the opportunity to deepen the kiss, sliding his tongue inside. Byakuya gasped at the feeling of Renji's tongue inside his mouth. It sent a shiver through his body, that small act of intimacy something he had obviously missed. His hands tangled in the sleeves of Renji's kimono and couldn't help but start to kiss back. He wasn't sure if it was the stress of the last few days or the sake he had drank earlier, but he didn't have the mental fortitude to fight this.

Their mouths met, over and over again, in a clash of lips and tongue and teeth. It was so much better than in his dream, Byakuya thought. They were erratic, hot, passionate, everything that he would expect from Renji. And as they kissed their bodies pressed closer and closer together, until Byakuya could feel Renji's hardness press against his. He moaned at the contact, though it was a sound lost somewhere in the recesses of Renji's mouth. But they were outside, where anyone could see them, and putting aside everything else they shouldn't be doing this for that exact reason. Byakuya turned his face to the side, breaking the kiss.

"Renji," he started, surprised by how low and hoarse his voice had become.

But Renji was already interrupting him. "There's nothing between me and Ichigo. I'm not interested in anyone other than you."

"That's not the problem here," Byakuya said, and Renji was at least quick enough to catch on to what was.

"Come on," he said, and then he took Byakuya's hand as though it were the most natural thing to do.

Byakuya didn't protest, though he did frown lightly at the contact. It felt strange. It seemed almost more intimate than kissing, having their palms pressed together and fingers intertwined like this. Nevertheless, he let Renji lead him back into the house, avoiding the hallway leading to the living room and going down some other corridor instead. The house was bigger on the inside than it seemed from outside, and it took more time than Byakuya expected to arrive at their destination. But then they were there, Renji opening the door to lead him in to the small bedroom he must have been living in these last few days.

As soon as the door was shut behind them, Renji was reaching for him again. Their mouths met again as their hands grabbed at each other, at their clothes. A some point, and it happened in such a frenzy that Byakuya wasn't sure how it had occurred, they both fell naked onto the bed. Part of Byakuya was sure he shouldn't be doing this, but an even larger part of him didn't care. It felt too good just too feel Renji's skin against his, flushed and warm and real. And to feel Renji's cock against his thigh, hard and dripping. . . it made him feel good, somehow, to know that he was causing that reaction in the man.

Renji pushed Byakuya down onto the mattress, breaking their kiss as he got up. Then crept, eagerly, down the length of Byakuya's body. Byakuya stared up at the ceiling. His fingers clenched around the fabric of the sheets as he waited in anticipation, knowing what was to come next. And then he gasped as he felt a hot, wet mouth close around his erection.

It was too much. He hadn't had sexual relations with anyone since his wife had died. He had barely touched himself during all that time. And Renji had been the object of his fantasies for too long now. All Renji had to do was take him halfway into his mouth before he came, shooting semen down Renji's throat.

Byakuya couldn't have been more embarrassed. Renji was sitting up, wiping the side of his mouth with an errant piece of cloth. At some point his hair had come loose from its usual ponytail, and was hanging down in a thick curtain.

"I apologize," Byakuya said. He wasn't sure what the proper etiquette for premature ejaculation was, so that would have to suffice.

"Don't worry about it," Renji said, before laying down next to him. "I never thought I'd even get to go this far with you."

Byakuya pushed himself up into sitting position, and then bent over Renji slightly. He could see that the other man was still half-hard, and it was hardly fair to leave him like that. He started to move down Renji's body.

"Taichou," Renji said, his hand coming to rest on Byakuya's arm, "you don't have to-"

At Byakuya's warning glare, Renji let go and stopped protesting. Byakuya continued downward and Renji spread his legs to give him room. He nestled between them as he took a good look at Renji's cock, hanging half-hard from a nest of crimson red curls, with two small round balls hanging beneath them. It was big, Byakuya realized. Much bigger than he was willing to have inside him. He supposed that, were they to have anal sex, he would have to be the one to top.

But that wasn't in the cards for today, anyway. Byakuya leaned forward and licked a trail from the tip of Renji's cock to its base. He hadn't done this is an extremely long time, and felt a little lost and clumsy at it. In an almost hesitant move, he sucked the head of Renji's cock between his lips, then swirled his tongue around it. From the way Renji's breath hitched, he assumed he was doing at least adequately. As he licked and sucked his way down Renji's cock, he felt as it grew and hardened in his mouth. When it started to set off his gag reflex he paused, then he continued back down again.

Byakuya brought one hand to wrap around the base of Renji's shaft, well aware he wouldn't be able to deep throat it. Then he started to bob up and down on the length of Rennji's cock that was exposed, making sure that the tip of it hit the roof of his mouth every time it went in, for that added stimulation. Byakuya did, after all, remember a few tricks from his previous romantic encounters with men. After awhile he felt Renji tense beneath him.

"I'm coming," Renji warned, his voice alone sending shivers through Byakuya's body.

Byakuya pulled himself off Renji's cock, then pointed it at the redhead's stomach as he started to stroke it. He only had to stroke Renji a few times became he came with a cry, a few spurts of white, creamy liquid shooting out to coat his abdomen. A few lingering drops leaked out after that, dripping down over Byakuya's fingers.

The regret came almost instantly, a feeling of dread building in Byakuya's stomach as he looked at the pearly white drops on his fingers. In almost a daze let go of Renji's cock. What had he done? For now, though, he could only try to push those feelings down as he tried to get through the next few minutes. He reached for a nearby box of tissues and grabbed a few and handed them to Renji, then kept some for himself to clean off his hand. They cleaned up in silence, then sat in even more silence, before Byakuya started to reach for his clothes.

"I suppose I should go," he said, not sure of what else to say. "I'll have duties to attend to come morning."

"Yeah," Renji said, reaching for his own clothes. "I'll walk you outside."

They didn't say anything else as they got dressed and went outside, and then they were just standing there after Byakuya opened up his senkaimon, not sure how they were supposed to say goodbye. Byakuya looked up at Renji for just a moment, noting that there was a concerned expression on his face. He wasn't sure what to do about it, though. It was the easiest thing to fall back into routine.

"Good luck on the rest of your mission," Byakuya said. "I will see you when it is over."

"Yeah," Renji said, oddly listless. "Sounds good."

Byakuya frowned, but he didn't say anything further. He stepped through the senkaimon, looking back just once as it closed up behind him. Renji gave him an awkward little wave, and then he disappeared. Byakuya sighed. That trip had not been what he had expecting. That regret was growing stronger inside of him, and adding to it was a strange kind of uncertainty. He couldn't help but think that his actions had been a huge mistake, but what was done was done. He would just have to deal with the consequences, whatever they might be.


	9. A Rather Anti-climactic Ending

Byakuya had sucked him off. Byakuya had taken his cock inside his mouth, and had sucked on it until he came. And, in turn, he had gotten to do the same thing to Byakuya. Renji still couldn't believe it, no matter how many times he broke it down for himself. It seemed like such a strange concept. There was no way Byakuya would ever go so far with him. And yet. . . it had happened.

And how screwed up was that? Renji wasn't exactly what anyone would call old-fashioned, but he was sure that a confession was supposed to be followed by dating, which was then followed by sex. It didn't go confession, rejection, sex, avoidance. At least not in a healthy relationship.

Renji sighed. He guessed they had never had a healthy relationship, though.

And it's not as though they were actively avoiding each other, per se. But after they had found out that Aizen was after the oken, they had gotten even busier. Byakuya had his duties in Soul Society and Renji had his mission in the human world. They were too busy to contact each other, and didn't have the means to do it even if they had the time. The only communication with Seireitei was through the big screen device Renji was standing in front of right now.

Besides, even if Renji did have a chance to talk to Byakuya, he had no idea what to say. Even if they had actually connected physically, they had missed each other mentally and emotionally. As soon as they had had sex Renji had regretted it, because it had been too soon. Their relationship (or lack thereof) hadn't been ready to handle it. There was no meaning to it yet.

"I've got him," came Hitsugaya's voice, as the young captain jumped in through the window.

Renji turned, as did Rukia, who was standing beside him.

"Ichigo," she said, not even hiding the concern in her eyes. Yamamoto had never asked for an emergency meeting like this, after all, and certainly had never invited the substitute shinigami.

"Rukia," Ichigo answered. The question 'what's wrong' was in his eyes, but it was clear he would find out soon enough.

At any rate, Hitsugaya was telling Rangiku to connect them, and soon Ukitake's face was appearing over the screen. There was momentary surprise at not seeing Yamamoto's face, and then shock when Ukitake told them why he was there instead. As he told them that Inoue had been intercepted by arrancar, Renji looked over at Rukia. It had been because of Rukia that Inoue was in Soul Society in the first place, after all. Sure enough, the guilt was clear on his friend's face.

"Inoue Orihime," Ukitake was saying, "has gone to the arrancar side. Either abducted or. . . it is thought that she is already dead."

"Ukitake-taichou!" Rukia cried out, obviously startled. "To say something like that-"

"I know," Ukitake interrupted. "I don't want to say such things either. I'm just discussing possibilities here-"

"Goddammit," Ichigo yelled, apparently feeling that it was his turn to interrupt. "You don't even have any proof and you're saying she's dead. That's bullshit. My wrist was wounded yesterday, a wound no one could heal. And when I woke up today it was gone, like it had never existed! And Inoue reiatsu was there! So how the hell can you say she's dead?"

"I see," Ukitake said, before being interrupted by someone offscreen.

"That is a pity."

Everyone in the room squared their shoulders at the sound of Yamamoto's voice. Ukitake moved out of the way as Yamamoto appeared, facing Renji and the others.

"What the hell do you mean?" Ichigo asked, eyes narrowed.

Renji didn't blame him. He was confused too, and obviously Ichigo was used to getting dicked around by Soul Society, so he couldn't have been feeling too good about things.

"Certainly," Yamamoto explained, "if your story is true, than Inoue Orihime is still alive. However, at the same time, it means that we have been betrayed. If Inoue had been abducted, she never would have had the chance to see you before she left. In other words, if she disappeared after healing your wounds, Inoue Orihime has, by her very own will, joined the arrancars."

Renji could see the anger building up in Ichigo's eyes more and more as Yamamoto continued speaking. Sure enough, the first thing out of the boy's mouth when he was done was an expletive.

"Bullshit!" Ichigo yelled.

Fuck. Stupid hotheaded shithead was just going to screw things up even more. Renji quickly raised his arm and grabbed Ichigo's shoulder, squeezing hard and yanking back just a little bit, enough to bring shocked brown eyes glaring back at him.

"Stop," Renji said. "You're just making things worse. Yamamoto-soutaichou, we understand your story. Now, as part of the Hitsugaya primary expedition, I, Abarai Renji, sixth squad vice-captain, will head to Hueco Mundo to bring the traitor Orihime Inoue back to her senses."

Relief flooded Ichigo's eyes as Renji spoke, and Renji was thankful that the kid was smart enough to let an experienced shinigami handle this political crap. But both their hopes were dashed with what Yamamoto said next.

"I refuse."

Renji could feel the shock run through him as easily as he could see it in Ichigo's face.

"All members of the Hitsugaya primary expedition are to come back to prepare for guarding Soul Society. We must abandon Inoue. . . there is no need to place a single life and the whole of the world on a scale."

There was silence through the room, and Rukia was the one to interrupt it. Her voice was meek, but insistent at the same time, and Renji had never been more proud of her.

"I'm sorry," she said, "but we are unable to follow those orders."

"As I expected," Yamamoto said. "I'm glad that I planned ahead."

And then, as if on cue, a senkaimon opened up, and who should appear but two of the Gotei 13's more intimidating captains.

"Taichou," Renji said. His breath caught in his throat as Byakuya appeared before him for the first time in months, but not for any good reasons.

"That's the story," Kenpachi said, though he didn't look any happier to be escorting them back than they were to be leaving. "Now get going."

"Don't refuse," Byakuya said, as calm as ever. "We have been directed to use force if needed."

No one there wanted to fight Byakuya and Kenpachi, but no one moved either. Even Ikkaku and Yumichika, who probably had the least out of all of them to do with Inoue, looked loath to move from their spots.

"Fine," Ichigo finally said, breaking the heavy silence that had fallen over them. "Soul Society doesn't want to help, I get that. But at least tell me how to get to Hueco Mundo on my own. I'll go save her myself."

"Unacceptable," Yamamoto said. "Your powers are necessary for this battle. Stand by until you are given an order."

Renji could see Ichigo's shoulders slump and his hands ball into fists. He could feel the anger and frustration coming off in waves from the other man. And he could feel it inside himself, as well, but there was nothing they could do about it now. Rukia was reaching forward for Ichigo, but Renji wrapped an arm around her and placed a hand on her shoulder. He pulled her forward, into the senkaimon. She stared back at Ichigo even as it closed behind them, but he kept pulling her away.

"Come on," he whispered, "he still has Urahara-san. What we need to do now is find a way to get back there so we can go too."

Rukia's eyes lit up as she turned to face front, keeping up with Renji's pace. "You're right. Urahara-san surely knows how to get to Hueco Mundo."

Getting back to Ichigo and Urahara, however, would be another thing entirely. Renji was sure that Yamamoto would have them under watch, or at least have all the senkaimon guarded more carefully. Renji sighed as he thought about it, but then he found his eyes landing on Byakuya, his thoughts turning slightly towards him instead. The man was walking at the front of the group, head held high as usual, walking pace sure and quick. Renji briefly wondered if Byakuya had thought of him at all over the past few months. If he felt as strangely apprehensive as Renji did, and not just over the coming war.

Once they got back to Seireitei, they naturally divided. Hitsugaya and Rangiku went off together, as did Renji's former comrades in the twelfth division. Renji, Byakuya, and Rukia would naturally have parted here as well, only Byakuya's command kept them from doing so.

"You two are to come with me to the estate," Byakuya said, without even turning to face them. "I wish to speak to you there."

Renji and Rukia shared a disappointed look. So Soul Society was planning to keep a vigilant watch over them after all. Once they got back to the estate, though, Byakuya surprised them. As they entered the main residence Byakuya stopped to signal for some waiting servants, and two appeared before Renji and Rukia, each holding a neatly folded pile of thick cloth. Renji and Rukia blinked at them, neither one sure of what they were.

"Is this some kind of noble tradition?" Renji mumbled, but Rukia's perplexed stare told him that no, it probably was not.

"They are cloaks," Byakuya explained. "To protect from sandy winds in Hueco Mundo."

Renji swore that his lower jaw dropped two inches.

"I was only ordered to bring you back here," Byakuya continued, even as he started to walk away from them. "What you do now is none of my concern."

"Nii-sama?" Rukia questioned.

Byakuya stopped for a second, though he still didn't turn around. "Hueco Mundo is no place for that filthy ryoka to be playing around."

Renji stared at Byakuya's retreating back, speechless as he rounded the corner and disappeared. Then he turned to face Rukia, who was also staring after Byakuya in awe, a slight blush on her face.

Renji's mouth shut as he frowned. "Brother complex, much?"

Rukia's eyes widened, than narrowed as she glared at Renji. "It's not like that! You're so gross, Renji!"

"Putting that aside," Renji continued. "What do we do now? Every senkaimon out of here is going to be guarded."

"The Kuchiki estate has a private one," Rukia said. "But I don't know how to use it, it's different from the ones that Soul Society uses. And while nii-sama's okay with turning a blind eye to what we do, I don't think he can actively help us either, so I can't really ask him to set it up for us. I can talk to the servants, see if they know how to use it or anyone who does."

"Yeah. I'll also do a check of the other senkaimon, see if there are any we can maybe sneak through."

"Sounds like a plan," Rukia said. "We'll leave as soon as we can."

Renji nodded. Cloaks in hand, he and Rukia started to leave the premises, but Renji found himself turning back to stare at the space Byakuya had been. He wondered if Byakuya was still on the estate. He knew that his captain must have a lot of work to do, but that didn't mean he had immediately returned to his office or anywhere else.

"Renji?"

Renji looked forward to see Rukia a few steps ahead of him. Apparently he had stopped walking without realizing it.

"You go on ahead," he said. "I have to talk to Taichou about some things."

"Okay," Rukia replied. "I'll talk to you later."

Renji turned and made his way deeper into the Kuchiki estate, looking for Byakuya. He found him in a small courtyard, sitting among polished stone and perfectly raked sand. He was sitting with his zapakuto, obviously about to communicate with it, and Renji almost felt bad for interrupting him. But he cleared his throat regardless.

At the noise, Byakuya looked up, quickly, only to look down again.

"Renji," he said. "Is there something I can do for you?"

And only Renji, with the years he had spent watching the man, could pick up on the slight hesitation that colored his words. To anyone else he must have looked as collected as ever. So Renji hadn't been the only one preoccupied with what had happened to them.

"May I come in, Taichou?" Renji asked.

"Yes. You may."

Renji walked into the room and took a seat on a large stone near Byakuya. He was careful not to disturb the intricate ridges on the sand, keeping any damage done minimal. But now that he was near Byakuya, he wasn't sure what to say. He clasped, then unclasped, his hands in front of him, completely aware of the fact that Byakuya was waiting for him to say something.

"Umm. . . could you tell me what has been going on in Soul Society? We were never debriefed on the matter."

Byakuya seemed relieved, or at least more comfortable, now that the conversation had turned to business. "Yes. As you know, Aizen is planning on laying seige to Karakura Town in order to create the oken. Here in Soul Society, we have created a Fake Karakura Town, if you will, that we can swap with the real one. It is there where we will make our stand against Aizen and his army."

"Yeah. Okay. Umm. . . here's the thing. I'm going off to Hueco Mundo soon, and we don't know when Aizen's going to invade, but it's probably soon too." Renji took a deep breath. "Which means there's a good chance that I won't see you until all of this is over. And the fact is, we don't know how everything's going to end."

"What are you saying, Renji?" Byakuya asked, finally turning to face his vice-captain.

"So I want to resolve this thing between us before I go," Renji said. "Because we might not ever get the chance again. If something happens to either one of us. . . or to both of us. . ."

"Don't speak as though we have already been defeated," Byakuya reprimanded.

"Yeah, sorry," Renji said. Byakuya seemed a little bit nervous now, but this was something Renji wanted to do. The fact was they were involved in a war. He might not survive whatever was waiting for him in Hueco Mundo. Byakuya might not survive the invasion of Fake Karakura Town. So what was the point of holding anything in at this point? "I just want to say it again, and maybe this time, you could say it back."

It was a gamble, assuming that Byakuya's feelings mirrored his. It was something Renji wouldn't have normally allowed himself to believe, except for what had happened at Urahara Shouten.

"Kuchiki-taichou," Renji said, "I love you."

Renji could see Byakuya's fingers on his zanpakuto, moving awkwardly over the surface. He thought perhaps Byakuya wouldn't answer, but then he spoke.

"Renji. . . I care for you, as well."

Renji couldn't help the relief that flooded through him and the grin that exploded onto his face. Disbelief was still there, of course, but that he could push away for now.

"So where do we stand?" Renji asked. "Where do we go from here?"

"You ask me as if I would know the answers to those questions," Byakuya said. "But this is all new to me. Hisana was the last, and only, person I have ever courted, and that was a much different experience that this one."

"Sorry," Renji said, frowning. The last thing he wanted was to remind Byakuya of his dead wife. He reached out, his hand coming to rest on Byakuya's shoulder. "I should go. Is it okay if I come back later?"

Surprisingly, Byakuya didn't take long to nod his assent.

As Renji left, he wondered if this latest tactic of his was a little too heavy-handed. Forcing his way into Byakuya's life didn't seem like the healthiest way to start a relationship. But he felt like they would never get anywhere if he didn't, and anyway, Byakuya didn't seem to mind. Because if Byakuya was really against it, Renji wouldn't be able to get away with it.

Soon Renji found himself transporting through Sereitei, checking on the statuses of all the senkaimon. Just as he and Rukia thought, they were all being guarded. By lower-ranked unseated officers, which meant that Renji could no doubt take them easily, but the last thing he wanted was to make a scene. The best thing would be to sneak off without anyone noticing. At least that would ensure them some time before someone came after them, if anyone came after them at all. And considering the fact that it was highly likely that Rukia would be able to garner the help of a servant, their best bet would just be to use the Kuchiki senkaimon. He sent a hell butterfly to Rukia saying as much.

Once Renji was done, it was already dark. He figured that Byakuya would be done with his training and decided to go back to the Kuchiki estate. He was still unsure of what he was going to do. He just knew that he wanted to spend as much time with Byakuya as he could before he left.

He found Byakuya by the river outside his bedroom. The man was already dressed in a casual yukata of a geometric blue print, and his his was damp and slick down his back. He held a tea cup in his hand, steam wafting from it, and sipped from it as he watched the surface of the meandering river. Renji came to sit next to him. It was almost a relief to Renji, this more casual setting.

"I won't ask you what you were doing," Byakuya said. "And I advise that you don't tell me."

"Okay," Renji said, watching as Byakuya took another sip. There was enough light from the nearby bedroom that he could see Byakuya clearly, from the soft gray of his eyes to the sharp slant of his nose. Byakuya really was a handsome man. It wasn't a mystery why the Shinigami Woman's Association was trying to publish a photobook of him.

"I must apologize," Byakuya said, before placing his tea cup on the ground.

Renji blinked. "About. . . what?"

"About what I said when you initially confessed," Byakuya replied. "It wasn't actually something I believed. It was just something I said to prevent you from pushing a point. Because I did not think it wise for us to have a relationship."

Renji could feel his heart in his throat. "You still feel like that, Taichou?"

"Somewhat," Byakuya admitted. "But after what happened between us, I realize that it is foolish to go back to just the working relationship we had before. We might as well, I suppose, let this relationship run its course."

"Oh. Okay." Renji didn't exactly get it, but he understood enough to feel relieved.

A hell butterfly fluttered between them then, and Renji cursed the damned things for always getting in the way. He held out his hand and it landed in his palm, and he held it to his ear to hear the message. A kind of morse code, carried in the soft flutterings of its wings. Rukis]a had found someone. They were to leave via the Kuchiki senkeiman two hours after dawn. Renji told the butterfly to send his confirmation, and it quickly flew away, always happy to do its job.

"Byakuya," Renji said, turning his attention back to where he really wanted it. "Is it okay if I stay the night? Just to sleep. We're both probably tired after today."

Byakuya only took a moment to make his decision. And then he nodded, though he still seemed wary about it. "I'll have the servants prepare a bath."

Just twenty minutes later, Renji was soaking in a small stone bath in one of the Kuchiki's estates many rooms. The water he was currently immersed in was hot enough that it was steaming, giving an opaque quality to the air in the small space. Renji wriggled his toes at the other end of the tub, but could barely see them through the fog. The steam smelled vaguely of seasonal florals, though Renji was unable to identify the various scents. It was soothing, though.

He sunk more into the water, so that it covered his mouth and came almost all the way up to his nose. His hair floated around him, like the crimson branches of some strange plants. This was, he thought, a good opportunity to relax a little bit. Things were going well with Byakuya, Renji thought. Perhaps a little too well. He had expected to encounter more resistance than this. But then again, that was a good thing, wasn't it? He was getting what he wanted. And yet it felt like they still had such a long way to go.

Once he got out of the bath, Renji found a yukata and some toiletries waiting for him in the adjoining chamber. He dried himself off and dressed, then brushed his hair out. He didn't bother putting it up, though, figuring he was going to go to bed soon.

When he got back to the room, Byakuya was already in bed, and laying on his side facing away from Renji. From his breathing he was still awake, and Renji wondered if he had been waiting for him. Renji crept into the bed, the soft mattress giving way to his body weight as he climbed on.

He made his way towards Byakuya and laid down behind him. Then he reached out, wrapping his arms around Byakuya's chest as he pressed his own chest flush to Byakuya's back. Byakuya tensed in his embrace, but he didn't protest. On the contrary, a hand came up to rest on his arm, holding it there.

"It's been a long time since I've cuddled like this with someone," Renji said. His voice was barely more than a whisper, though he briefly wondered why he was bothering to lower it. Surely the Kuchiki estate was big enough that his normal speaking voice wouldn't bother anyone. "Rukia used to make fun of me for trying to cuddle with everyone in our gang, so I stopped doing it. But it was cold, you know? I was just trying to stay warm."

"I've never even slept in the same bed as another," Byakuya confessed. "Even with Hisana, we kept our own quarters."

"Yeah?" Renji couldn't keep the shock from coloring his voice. "Even when you guys. . . umm. . . consummated your marriage?"

"Even then," Byakuya confirmed. "I would return to my own bedroom, and she would stay in hers. Hisana only married me to escape her life of poverty. She held no higher emotions for me than respect and gratitude."

Renji's arms tightened around Byakuya, which made Byakuya tense just that little bit more.

"Sorry," Renji said, about both things.

"It's fine," Byakuya said. "I accepted it before we were even wed. And it makes me appreciate it all the more when I _am_ the recipient of such emotions. Renji. . . I apologize for not being more open, or more communicative with my emotions. I understand that those things are difficult to deal with, and I can only imagine why someone like you are would bother with someone like me."

For a moment Renji thought that he had heard wrong. Though Byakuya's tone of voice was as stoic as ever, his words were. . . well, unexpected, to say the least. Renji had never even entertained the notion that Byakuya had qualities to himself that he was uncertain of.

"Don't you have that backwards?" Renji asked. "Shouldn't I be asking what someone like _you_ is doing with someone like _me_?"

"And would that be a rhetorical question?" Byakuya asked. "Because it is one that I can surely answer. What I am doing with you? Out of anyone I know, you have the most drive and the most passion. You live your life with such conviction, letting your heart guide your actions and words, even when you have everything to lose by doing so. I only wish that I were brave enough to live my life the same way. I admire it, Renji. I admire you."

Renji smiled into Byakuya's hair. It was more of a confession from Byakuya than when Byakuya had parroted Renji's feelings earlier. He wasn't sure what had prompted Byakuya to share. Maybe it was the fact that it was dark, and they weren't facing each other. Maybe he felt it was necessary, before they were separated by the war. But Renji could feel Byakuya relaxing in his arms, and for the first time he felt a little bit secure in their relationship.

"Good night, Taichou."

"Good night, Renji."

When Renji awoke the next morning, there was a moment of confusion at the wrongness around him. The mattress was too soft. The space was too light. There was a body in his arms. And then he remembered.

From Byakuya's breathing, he was awake, and Renji quickly let go of him.

"Sorry, Taichou," Renji said. "Have you been awake long?"

"No," Byakuya replied. "Not much longer than you."

Byakuya turned so that they were both on their sides and facing each other. The planes of his face seemed softer, somehow, in dim light of the dawn. Though it wasn't the first time that Renji had made that observation. Renji shifted, then, at the same time that Byakuya did, so that Byakuya's leg brushed against Renji's morning erection.

"Sorry," Renji murmured, still half asleep. "I'll go take care of that."

"Why?" Byakuya asked. "One of the benefits of being in a relationship is that you have someone to take care of those things for you."

Renji blinked. He would never have guessed, in a million years, that Byakuya's rational side might actually benefit his sex life. But he wasn't going to complain. So instead he reached forward and pulled Byakuya toward him, so that they could kiss each other good morning properly.

As they kissed, Renji felt a hand slide itself into his yukata, then wrap itself around the length of his cock. He moaned into Byakuya's kiss even as his body arched forward. It might have been a long time since Byakuya had been intimate with anyone, but he was certainly skilled with his fingers. Said fingers started to squeeze and pump Renji's cock, as the thumb swirled over the head of it. It was almost unbearable, having Byakuya touch him this way. Just the thought that it was Byakuya's hand on him made Renji want to come.

Renji realized, though, that he really should reciprocate. He reached a hand between them, intent on lavishing the same kind of attention on Byakuya. But his hand never reached its destination, because Byakuya pushed him onto his back and broke their kiss. Renji looked up, surprised to see Byakuya looking down on him with eyes that seemed a little bit darker than usual. He watched as Byakuya crept down his body, as his head dipped lower. He watched as Byakuya pressed his parted lips against the very tip of his penis, tongue coming out to swipe playfully against the surface.

The sight of it was almost more provocative than the actual sensation. Renji watched as those lips parted and lowered, as the head of his cock disappeared into Byakuya's mouth. One of Byakuya's hands found their way to Renji's balls, cupping and massaging them lightly. The other wrapped around the shaft of Renji's cock, gripping the flesh as Byakuya's tongue and throat worked over the head of it.

Once Renji was able to form a cohesive thought, he wondered if he was going to be able to have a chance to reciprocate. But then the hand around his balls was leaving, and he felt a finger prodding at his hole. He spread his legs almost instinctually, and felt his hole twitch when just the tip of Byakuya's finger pushed in. Renji's eyes drifted shut as he was assault on both sides. . . by Byakuya's mouth in the front, and his finger in the back. And that impossibly long finger kept sliding deeper and deeper into him, until he finally felt the knuckles of Byakuya's hand against his ass. Byakuya started to finger fuck him then, at which point it became exponentially more difficult for Renji to keep from moaning.

Still, fingers were different from cocks, and while one dry finger up there felt pretty damned good, they were going to need something if Byakuya wanted to shove something else in.

"Byakuya," Renji said, "if you want to do this, we'll need something slick."

His words caused Byakuya's mouth to, quite tragically, remove itself from his cock. Though, thankfully, that finger remained where it was.

"My servants keep massage oil in the armoire," Byakuya replied. "I'll go retrieve some."

And now that finger was leaving him. Byakuya stood, mattress shifting to accommodate his absence, and made his way to his armoire. In the meantime Renji reached down to pull his yukata, already half open, all the way to the sides. Then he reached a hand down to wrap around himself, playing with himself in languid strokes as he waited for Byauya to return. He was achingly hard, his large cock flushed a deep red color and liberally dripping pre-cum with each stroke. He knew that it wanted a chance to get inside of Byakuya, but he didn't want to scare the other man off. Other lovers had been intimidated by its size, after all. He could work up to that.

Byakuya came back, the bottle of massage oil in his hands. Renji watched as he untied the obi of his yukata and let the robes slip from his shoulders, revealing a hard, lithely sculpted body. Byakuya was hard already, slender cock curving out from thick black curls. Byakuya tipped the bottle over it, and Renji watched as a viscous stream of oil dripped out to coat its length. Byakuya put the bottle down as he rubbed the oil over himself, then he came to sit between Renji's legs again.

Renji bent and spread his legs as two of Byakuya's fingers returned to his ass. Now slick, they sank in almost easily, and then he was being stretched and scissored to accommodate a larger girth.

"I'm ready," Renji said, after awhile. "Go ahead and put it in."

Byakuya seemed unsure, but he removed his fingers nonetheless. He brought a hand down to grip the base of his cock, then positioned himself more neatly between Renji's legs. Renji held his breath as he felt the blunt tip of Byakuya's cock press against him. Then Byakuya pushed, and Renji felt himself being spread open.

Renji's fingers tangled in the sheets as Byakuya sank into him. He could hear Byakuya's breathing, heavy and uneven, and somehow it felt good that he was the one doing that to the man. It wasn't long before Byakuya was completely buried inside of him, hips pressed against Renji's legs. Byakuya was bent over him, forearms on either side of Renji's head, just a few inches above him. His face was screwed up, if only minutely, in concentration.

"Are you okay?" Renji asked. He reached up, rubbing his hands along Byakuya's shoulder blades.

"Yes," Byakuya said, though his voice was strained. Poor thing. He really had been celibate since his wife had died.

"It's fine," Renji said. "Just take it slow."

Byakuya nodded. He started to roll his hips, slowly, back and forth. The small movement sent little thrums of pleasure through Renji's body. Part of him still couldn't believe this was happening, but it's not as though he could deny the proof all around him. Renji lifted his head up, kissing Byakuya as the other man fucked him.

Renji snaked his arm down the backside of Byakuya's body, slid his fingers between the crevice of his ass. Soon his index finger found what he was looking for. . . a small puckered hole. He pressed against it, then pushed. As his finger sunk inside that tight heat Byakuya gasped into his mouth. Renji moved his finger back and forth, slowly, even as Byakuya started to fuck him at a faster pace.

"Renji," Byakuya breathed, and from his tone of voice he seemed as though he were close.

"It's fine," Renji said, "go ahead and let go."

Byakuya clenched his eyes shut and nodded. Somehow he reached an arm down between their bodies, hand wrapping around Renji's cock as he pulled. Renji bit his lip at the contact. It felt amazing, Byakuya's hand on his cock and Byakuya's cock up his ass, and his finger feeling out the promise of future encounters. Renji was close, too, and in Byakuya's expert hand he was quickly pulled to orgasm. He groaned as his cock twitched and shot, coating the space between them. Soon after that Byakuya gave a small moan and spilled himself into Renji's body, before all but collapsing on top of it.

They lay there for awhile, still intertwined, before Byakuya moved to get off of him. They both had duties to attend to, after all. Renji with Rukia and the others, and Byakuya with the Gotei 13. They got cleaned up in comfortable silence, then started their walk to the Kuchiki senkaimon.

Rukia was already there when they arrived, and she lifted an eyebrow to see the two of them walking together.

"Onii-sama?" she asked, a little wary.

"Rukia. Do not worry, I just came to say goodbye. Stay safe."

Rukia nodded. "Thank you, onii-sama."

The servant was opening up the senkaimon now, back to Karakura Town. Hopefully once they were there they could get Ichigo and then convince Urahara to get them into Hueco Mundo. Renji turned toward Byakuya.

"I'll see you when this is all over."

Byakuya nodded. "I expect nothing less."

Renji smiled. Then, because he couldn't help it, he leaned forward and placed a kiss on Byakuya's lips. Byakuya's eyes widened in surprise at the public display of affection. As did his servant's and Rukia's. Before Byakuya could scold (or hurt) him for being so bold in public, Renji picked up a shell-shocked Rukia and stepped into the senkaimon. He looked back to see it closing up behind them. Byakuya's shock was fading, taken over by an expression that seemed to say Renji would be duly punished upon their next meaning.

Renji was looking forward to it.

"Renji," Rukia's said, sounding mixed parts shocked, confused, and angry. "Would you care to tell me what is going on between you and my brother?"

Renji grinned. "Yeah. I'll tell you on the way to Karakura Town. You see, it all started when he came to the academy to adopt you. . ."


End file.
